Courage
by Sadieclay
Summary: 4 new chapters posted! Dave struggles to survive, a month after being stabbed by Sobriki.
1. Courage: 1

cour1.html   
***********   
"Courage, my word, it didn't come, it doesn't matter. Courage, it couldn't come at a worse time" 

-Courage. THE TRAGICALLY HIP. 

**********   


Dave's fingers flew fast over the rack. 'nosebleed', 'oozing sores', 'headache'... Headache? He grinned and snatched up the chart.   
"SCORE!" 

He flipped through it as Weaver walked up from behind and collared him. 

"You're not sifting through cases again are you Malucci?!" She said, annoyed. 

Dave jumped a foot in the air, the clipboard flying from his hands and clattering to the desk as it slid across the Formica tile, coming   
to a rest against smooth elegant hands of the ER chief. 

"No! Not doing that! Of course not, Chief.." He said nervously, grabbing it from her slender fingers and putting it back. 

"No.. It's okay.. Looks like a good teaching case.. Take Lucy with you.." Kerry said evenly. 

"Lucy?! Chief!!!" Dave whined before snatching it up and storming off to find the young blonde med-student. 

**** 

"You have headaches... Is it a sharp pain or a throbbing pain?" Dave's patient bowed his head and shuddered. 

Gee.. This was a talkative one. "Paul.." He repeated slowly, slowly rolling his brown eyes tiredly. Teaching case, his ass.. This was just a waste of time. 

Paul looked at his doctor, pained and depressed.. "A sharp pain.. A... Stabbing pain.." He winced and lay back on the gurney. 

"Uhhh huh." Dave moved the chair away from the gurney and gave himself a little space. "I'm going to order a few tests if that's okay.. You're in college right now Paul?" 

Paul nodded. "Yeah.. Law classes.." 

Malucci scrawled something on the chart. "Well.. Your headaches are probably stress related.. But we can get some blood work and   
head scans and x-rays just to be sure." 

Lucy looked at the chart from behind the junior resident. "You sure he isn't just drug seeking?" She whispered. 

Dave cringed. Couldn't she go wash some homeless guy or lance a boil or something?? "He could be.. That's why we need to run some tests.. It'd be stupid to say he's a drug seeker and have him come back with a brain-tumor the size of a Volkswagen next week." 

She nodded her head slowly, absorbing the information. "Okay.. So do we order a spinal tap?" She whispered back. 

Spinal tap!? Christ.. "Yeah.. Probably.. Have you done one before?!" Dave said nonchalantly, putting the chart down on the empty gurney beside the door and lead her outside. 

"Maybe you should stay out of this Lucy.. If this guy does have a brain tumour or something.. It'd be better if we didn't have too many people crowding him. Find Carter.. He probably has something interesting." Dave said quietly, glancing back into the room where his patient lay on his side towards the wall. His gown gaped open at the back, revealing his pasty buttocks. 

Malucci closed the blinds and turned back to the med student who stood there, her arms crossed and a scowl on her pretty lips. "Come on Lucy... Please.. If the CT and X-rays come back negative.. I'll come and get you.. I promise.." 

She sighed, throwing up her hands and walking away. "Whatever Malucci.. I won't hold my breath." Lucy grumbled, slamming into the lounge. 

*** 

"Hey Luce.. What's wrong?" Carter looked up from the chart he was finishing. His brow furrowed worriedly and he stood up from the table and sat her down on the couch. 

"Malucci's being an asshole again.." She muttered angrily, tearing a Kleenex into tiny squares and scattering it over the floor. 

He smiled and put a hand over hers stopping the destruction of the innocent tissue. "An asshole eh? I can't say that I've ever heard you use that sort of language.. What did he do this time?" 

"Weaver gave him a teaching case, and told him to take me through it, then when it was time to order the tests he told me to go away." Lucy grumbled. 

"He told you to go away?" Carter cocked a brow. 

"Well.. No.. The guy has been having headaches.. Dave said if it was cancer or something, it'd be better if he told the patient alone. He said that if the films and tests were negative, he would come back and get me." She mumbled quietly, tearing the kleenex. 

"Well... That's not so bad is it? Did Dave say anything else?" He urged. 

"Uh.. Not really.. The guy might need a spinal tap. Dave said I could help." She said, cheering up a little. 

"Oh..." He smiled. "A champagne tap.. Good luck." 

"A champagne tap?" 

"Yeah.. If you do your first spinal tap correctly, the supervising resident has to buy you a bottle of champagne." Carter grinned. 

"Oh.." Lucy returned his smile. 

Dave suddenly stuck his head in the door way. "Hey.. Luce.. Commere.." 

Carter squeezed her knee comfortingly and let her rise off the sofa and exit the lounge. 

"So you're going to buy me a bottle of champagne Dave?" Lucy asked indifferently as they walked down the hall. 

"What? Who told you that?!" Dave said, startled. 

"A medstudent who does her first correct spinal tap gets a bottle of champagne." Lucy said haughtily. 

"Oh really! Who told you this? Carter?" He cocked a brow and glanced back into the lounge. 

"Yes actually.. and I believe him." Lucy said, her anger growing. 

"You would.." Dave muttered under his breath. 

"WHAT!?" Lucy nearly shrieked. 

He rolled his eyes and continued to exam 3 where Paul's films were posted on the lightboard. "They're clear. We have to do a tap.. I   
don't know if I can afford a bottle of champagne.. Would a case of beer be okay??" 

Lucy sighed and walked into the room, watching the sleeping man while Dave went to get a tap kit. "Hi Paul.." She said softly. 

"When can I go home? I have to study.. I have to feed my cat." He mumbled. 

"Soon Paul." She replied, walking to the gurney, her voice comforting.. "We just have to do a few more tests, to rule out   
anything serious." 

"Is it a tumour?" Paul said panicky.. 

"Oh.. A tumour.. No.. The x-rays.. They were all clear.. The scans too.." Lucy said hurriedly, reassuring him. 

"Oh.." He sighed. "Good... I didn't like that humming tube.. Too bright.. That banging tube too.. Too loud." Paul murmured. 

"It's okay Mr.Sobriki.. Everything's okay." Lucy pulled up a chair and turned to see Dave walk in. "Just one more test." 

****   



	2. Courage: 2

cour2.html **** 

"Okay.. He's out.. I'll hold him down, put the needle in between L4 and L5... Don't force it, but just let it slide in.." Dave coaxed. 

"It's stuck.. It won't go in.." Lucy said fearfully. "I don't want to hurt him.." 

"You won't.. He's out cold.. Just keep sliding it in, the resistance won't la-" 

"LET GO OF ME! YOU'RE HURTING ME!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! HELP!!!!!! OW!! LET GO!!" Paul hollered struggling in Dave's arms. 

"Dave!" Lucy yelped. 

"Keep going Luce.." Dave grunted, holding Paul down. "Stop moving you bastard!" He muttered angrily as Sobriki thrashed. 

"It.. It's clear.." Lucy said relieved.. "There's a little blood in it though.. Is that okay?!" 

"Yeah.. It's fine.. If this asshole hadn't been moving like that.." Dave grumbled, rubbing his jaw where Paul had hit him wildly during the struggle. 

They left the exam room as Sobriki yelled, cursed and swore. "I'll get you! You hurt me! Nobody hurts me! I'll get you!" 

Lucy closed the door behind them and blew out a puff of air, in relief.. "That... That was interesting.. They're not supposed to-" 

Dave shook his head.. "No.. They're not. I've got some other cases on the board I should check back on.. Send the fluid to the lab.. See what they come up with. I'll be around." 

"Dave.. What if it's psychological?? What if he's schizophrenic or something??" Lucy said worriedly. "We should put him in   
restraints.." 

He rolled his eyes and continued down the hall. "Lucy.. One psych rotation does not make you Freud.. Leave the poor guy alone, he's got a migraine and we've poked him more than a Tickle-Me-Elmo.. Sobriki's got a right to be a little pissed."   
  
Lucy sighed and twirled a length of hair in her fingers. "Okay.. Can I call psych just in case?? It'll probably take forever for them to get to the ER anyway.. Paul can get some sleep and maybe he'll feel better by the time DeRaad gets down here." 

Dave groaned, grabbing fistfuls of his hair in his hands before running his fingers through it and groaning loudly. "Look.. Lucy.. Do   
what ever you want.. Play checkers with the freak.. Braid each other's toe hair.. Just leave me out of it!"   


**** 

Lucy glared at him, sticking her tongue out, before storming off angrily down the hall. Damn Malucci.. Damn County.. Damn them   
all. She walked up to the desk and wrenched the phone receiver from Randi who was yakking on the phone. "Phone them back." Lucy grumbled, pressing her thumb firmly on the phone, hanging up. 

"Bitch!" Randi glared at her. 

"I need the phone dammit.." Lucy complained, plucking the receiver from the gaudily manicured hand. 

"Oh... Phoning for a boyfriend are we?? Can't get any? I can see why.." Randi sneered, exaggeratedly looking the med student up and down. 

"Oh shut up!" Lucy hissed as the phone began to ring. "Yeah.. I need a psych consult down here in the ER.. Yeah.. It's Lucy.. Yeah.. I think he might be schizophrenic.. I want a hold on him.. Yeah.. Uh huh.. Okay.. THREE HOURS!? For FUCK'S sake, Dr.DeRaad!!" Lucy reddened.. "I mean.. I.. I'm sorry.. It's just.. Three hours.. Okay." She finished meekly before hanging up and handing the phone back to Randi. 

"Got bitched out by DeRaad did ya? Serves you right!" Randi snapped her gum loudly and snatched the receiver back with lemon yellow taloned fingers. 

The cute, short, blonde 24 year old's deep cerulean eyes narrowed and burned with hate. "If I didn't have patients to see to, Ms.Froncak I'd kick your ass.." Lucy said threateningly. 

"If I didn't have to order fifty things from the catalogue before Weaver catches me, I'd take you up on your offer.. However.." Randi   
looked around carefully before slumping back in her seat, her hand moving artfully through the Sears catalogue to the earmarked pages. "Get lost squirt.." She muttered irritably. "You've made your phone call.. You can go now." 

Lucy stomped off to the cafeteria, her body tense with rage and her beeper on. 

**** 

"Knight's in the cafeteria?? Where in the hell is Malucci?!" Mark looked at the board, wiping off the names of released patients. 

"Said he was going to the roof to think.. Or something..." Randi muttered, not looking up from her 'paper work'. 

"To think?? What do the doctors around here think this is? Take a holiday while Mark Greene's on shift?! I can be as tough and hard-assed as Weaver.." He grumbled as the co-workers snickered into their hands. 

Lucy sighed as her beeper went off. "The ER... FINALLY!!" She muttered angrily to herself as her back-teeth had started to float   
from the free pink lemonade. It may have been Valentine's Day.. It may have been free.. But maybe she should have stopped at the 8th when she'd crossed her legs and squeezed her small thighs together. 

She walked to the garbage can on her way out and tossed the stack of empty paper cups out. 

"Where is he?" Lucy ran down the hall expecting to see DeRaad. 

"Who?" Randi muttered, turning up the stereo. 

"Deeeeeraaaaaaaaaaad..." Lucy said slowly, her teeth clenched. 

Randi rolled her eyes. "He's not here.. One of your patients has been asking for you." 

"Who?? My patients??" Lucy cocked a brow. 

"Sobriki.. He says he wants to go home now.. He's been wandering around here in that smelly old bathrobe of his.. Malik has had to   
take him back to his room like.. A hundred times.." Randi snorted. 

"Why didn't you page Dave?? It's HIS patient.." Lucy glared at Randi. 

"Because.. He was asking for YOU. Says he's sorry.. Says he wants to show you something.. Bitching something fierce.." The desk clerk rolled her eyes. 

Lucy missed Randi's parting comment as she was already walking down the hall to exam 3. "Paul?" 

Paul lay in bed, the covers pulled high up to his chin as he shivered. "It's cold in here.." He muttered. 

"Why are the lights off Paul? Was it too bright in here?" Lucy said worriedly. 

"Lights don't work. That big bastard with the bad hair-day said there was probably a short or something.. Easier on the eyes.." Paul   
murmured. 

"They don't work?" She asked worriedly as she stepped into the room. 

Suddenly Paul started to seize on the bed, his limbs stiffening and his body convulsing. 

"OH SHIT!" Lucy stood in the middle of the room, caught by whether to run get help or to help her patient. "Paul?!" 

As she neared the bed, Paul's tremors slowly subsided till he lay limp and sweaty on the bed. "Paul?" She said, fear creeping into her voice. His head rolled to the side and a thin line of blood and saliva ran from his mouth and onto the light blue pillow case. He'd bit his tongue.. 

"Paul?" Her hand went to his wrist, checking his pulse and he pitched forward, grabbing her by the hair. His fingers clenched into   
the tangled mass of tow-headed tresses and spun her around so that her head rested in his lap, their eyes level. 

His voice was soft and full of menace as Paul's crazed eyes narrowed to slits and the soft light in the room excentuated the purple hollows under his eyes. 

"You... You hurt me. I told you to stop.. I think it's your time to start pleading.." He mumbled somberly as his nails bit into her flesh. The brute strength of his taut muscles pulling her neck back and exposing the clean white skin. Paul smiled, his lips brushing against   
the nape of her neck. 

"P-paul.." She whimpered. "Please..." 

"Enough." Paul shoved her from his lap as he pulled himself out of the bed and walked across the room towards her crumpled form on the dizzying mosaic tile. 

"Paul.. Please.." 

His hand darted out from the darkness and grabbed the pure angelic white of her short labcoat, turning it tight in his fist. The silver of the knife shimmered as it caught the light that filtered in through the closed blinds. 

"Paul!" She gasped, screaming as the first blow of the knife caught her in the stomach. Lucy licked her lips and felt the warm metallic taste of blood in her mouth. 

"P-paul.." Lucy gurgled, the blood rising in her throat as the knife got her again, she stumbled forward onto her hands and knees as   
the blade came at her again and again. 

As she collapsed to the tile, he ripped her neck back and drew the butcher knife across it cleanly. Lucy stopped screaming; sputtering whistles replaced her whimpers and Paul stood. 

"Bitch." 

**********   



	3. Courage: 3

cour3.html ********** 

Dave stood on the roof, his feet pressed up against the railing as he leaned out and glanced over the city. A chapped hand rubbed at his nose, swollen and red from the cold as he cupped his fingers over his mouth, blowing on them. 

He bent his stiff fingers, cramped from the cold and wondered why on earth he had said yes to Greene, when he'd been asked to stay past his shift. Dave had been quite pleased to be off at nine, he'd made a point of telling everyone so.. Then.. Then Lucy's stupid   
patient, and his other patients on his roster.. and his nine o'clock date came and.. went. As did the three other dates he'd had planned   
tonight. 

He sighed heavily and stomped his cold feet on the ground and wiggled his toes. Dave wasn't promiscuous to a fault, but... He did   
have a few lovely ladies he dated off and on occasionally.. Not to mention the random dates he'd had with fellow staff. He'd even   
gone out with Randi a couple times. 

It hadn't been anything serious.. Dinner, Clubbing, and some 'coffee' back at her place. But it'd obviously been something to Randi.   
Something special enough for her to get extremely riled whenever Lucy was within spitting distance. 

Lucy was one woman he wasn't inclined to ask out.. The first reason being that if Chief ever found out.. Dave shuddered. He didn't even want to contemplate what Chief would do. 

His breath floated eerily on the air in steamy white clouds that slowly faded in the February night. Dave was missing dinner for two   
at Parrinello with Cindy.. He'd already missed dinner with Janice at Montparnasse and with Suzette at Cafe Iberico. Slowly he pushed himself up, the sweaty skin of his palms sticking to the metal barrier. 

Dave cursed, kissing at the ripped flesh, sucking at the wound instinctively. The taste of blood in his mouth was almost calming as   
he swallowed and clenched his bleeding hand into a fist. Droplets of blood slipped from the cracks and fell onto the soft snow and he   
slowly stooped to his knees grabbing a handful and balling it in his hand. 

It slowly numbed it, making his fingers jerk from the frigid sphere of ice wrapped in his palm. 

The young resident pulled the thin jacket tighter around himself as he walked toward the lighted doorway and down to the ER, shutting it behind him. 

"Where's Lucy?" Dave asked off-handedly as he shed his coat and hung it in his locker. 

Carter shrugged, not looking up from his journal. "Dunno.. Last I heard she was in the cafeteria.. Why?? Lose the medstudent again?" 

"What do you mean THE medstudent? She was assigned to you as far as I can recall.. If she's lost.. It's your fault.. Not mine.." Dave glared at him. "I was just wondering if the whole schizophrenia thing panned out.. I was pretty hard on her earlier.. I was wondering if she had been right after all." Dave said admittedly, slamming the locker and putting his stethoscope around his neck again. 

"Yeah.. You were hard on her.. She was ready to have you castrated.. I told her you'd buy her a bottle of champagne though.." Carter said with a smirk. 

"Ohh.. So it was you.. Lucy did mention something.. The old 'champagne tap'.. You guys still do that sort of thing? I can't afford   
champagne.. I told her as much." Dave retorted with a scowl. 

"Well.. How DID the tap go anyway?? Was it clear?" 

"Yeah.. There was a little blood in it, but the bastard came out of sedation in the middle of the tap, so he started flopping around and   
screaming.. I'll get her a case of beer.. I promised her I'd get her at least that." 

Carter nodded approvingly. "Sounds good.. Some good stuff?? Molson Canadian?" 

Dave grinned. "You think the kid can handle 5% alcohol?" 

"You want to deal with her after you've given her some cheap light beer instead of a good bottle of Pinot Noir?? I sure as hell wouldn't!" Carter returned the smile. 

"Well I better go finish my shift. I'll give you a shout if I find her though." Replied the younger resident as he loped down the halls to   
the suture room to bandage his hand up. 

******* 

"A little tape, a little gauze and good as new.." Dave muttered through clenched teeth as he ripped a length of medical tape with   
his teeth and bandaged his palm. He flexed his hand, wiggled his fingers experimentally before fixing the tape in place and walking   
from the suture room. 

Dave grinned at the sight of his friends and colleagues, cheery and enjoying the festivities. "Hey Dave! Have a slice of cake!" Luka smiled at him and shoved the plate in his hands. 

"Uhh... Thanks Kovac.. Why is it blue?" Dave poked at the confectionery and licked his finger. "Shouldn't it be pink or   
something?" 

Luka shrugged. "I don't know.. Should it? Tastes okay blue.." He stared at his slice and flipped it over on his plate. Taking an   
experimental bite, he let the morsel melt on his tongue. "Tastes fine to m-" Luka looked up from his cake and sighed. Dave had left with his piece of blue heart and was chatting up Chuny. 

"Then we had this guy who had been stung by a jelly fish.. His friend had gotten the bright idea to pee-" Dave looked up and saw Carter staring at him. 

"Did you find Lucy yet, Dave?" Carter said curiously as he broke off a chunk of cake with his fork and chewed it slowly. "Did you even look?" He mumbled, crumbs falling from his mouth. 

Dave sighed. "She's probably still in the cafeteria." He mumbled putting his slice of cake down on the desk and leaving Admit. 

***** 

He exited the cafeteria, a baggy of cinnamon hearts in his pocket, a card from the gift shop in his hand and a bladder full of free pink   
'St.Valentine's' lemonade. 

Dave hoped Lucy would forgive him and wouldn't think that valentines were dumb. He just wanted to make peace. 

He left the elevator to see Mark sipping punch, eating cake and wiping the patients' names off the board. Only one name remained   
and the sign of it sent shivers down his back. Sobriki was still here? 

Sticking the valentine in the back pocket of his jeans, he started towards exam three when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "DAVE!!!!   
Just the dude I wanted to see! Your turn to pick a CD.. DJ TIME!!!!!!!" Malik wrapped his arm around the resident and lead him to admit. 

****** 

"Almost got ourselves caught there Lucy.." Paul said quietly, crouched beside her still body and running his fingers idly through   
her long blonde hair; the only thing not marred by the growing pool of blood that had formed underneath her small body. "Almost had to do it again. Almost had to hurt somebody else. Does it hurt? I know it does. You begged me to stop.. But I didn't stop, and neither did you.. I begged you to stop too, Lucy.." He cocked his head to the side, listening to the laughter and the music outside of the room, outside of their little dark world. 

**** 

"Where DID you get these CDs Malik? I've never heard of any of these bands." Luka remarked as Dave plucked one from his hands and stuck it in the stereo. "They're American most of them..." Malik replied as the music cued up. 

"We wrote this song, it's not too short, not too long   
It's got back-up voc's in just the right places   
It's got a few oohs and ahhs   
It takes a little pause   
Just before I sing the anthem 

Please play this song on the radio   
Almost every line is sung on time   
Almost every verse ends in a rhyme   
The only problem we had was writing enough words   
But that's okay, because the chorus is   
Coming up again now 

Please play this song on the radio   
Please play this song on the radio 

Right about this time   
Some shithead will be drawin a fat fucking line   
Over the title on the back sleeve, what an asshole   
So Mr. DJ, I hope you already made your segway   
Or the FCC is gonna take a shit right on your head   
Can't play this song on the radio..."   
(copyright. NOFX) 

Dave walked into the lounge and double checked the schedule. He had been right after all, Lucy was off an hour ago. She was probably home right now, boinking some lucky guy and getting fed strawberries and champagne.. Champagne.. Maybe he'd buy her a bottle after all. Dave sighed with relief and left the lounge, picking up a chart from the rack on his way by. "I'm gonna see a few   
patients." He yelled over the din and a few hands raised from the fray in a wave as he walked down the hall. 

"Happy Valentine's Day Dave!" Somebody yelled after him. 

His pace slowed as he reached the exam three and as he passed it, he stopped short, his sneakers squeaking on the freshly mopped   
floor. 

Abby caught up to him, the Valentine in hand. "Randi WAS right! You DO have the hots for Lucy!" She laughed turning the card over and shaking her head. 

"Where did you get that!?" Dave glared at her and stuck it in the pocket of his scrub top. 

"It was on the floor.. I picked it up." Abby grumbled. "You're welcome." 

"Thank you.." Dave sighed, rubbing his face with his bandaged hand. I've got some for the other staff too.. It's just.. I made a mess of things with Lucy earlier. I wanted to apologize, I got her some cinnamon hearts too." 

"Cards and candy.. You really know the way to a woman's heart Dave." Abby said sarcastically. 

"I know.. Wine them, dine them, then *BAM* I'm in their pants." Dave grinned as Abby stomped off, disgusted. 

*****   



	4. Courage: 4

cour4.html ***** 

Carefully Dave tucked the bag of hearts and the card into his breast pocket and his hand slid down the door opening it as Randi turned up the music. 

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Listen up everybody if you wanna take a   
chance. Just get on the floor and do the New Kids Dance! Don't worry 'bout me cuz it won't take long! We're gonna put you in a   
trance with the funky song! Cuz you gotta be... Hangin' Tough.. Oh yeah.. Hangin' Tough.. Hangin' Tough.. That's right.. Ha-" 

Dave slid across the floor with surprising agility, knocking the boom box off the desk and slipping the CD out, his hands shaking with fright. "NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK ARE EVIL!" He muttered, tossing it on the desk and flipping through the box of CDs. "Whose ARE these?!" Dave exclaimed with disbelief, holding up a 'Joey Lawrence Rappin' Love' Album. 

Yosh stepped forward blushing. "Mine, Malucci.." He said meekly. 

Dave sighed, "Sorry Yosh.. Here ya go.." He said handing him back his box and putting NKOTB back in the case." 

Malik tossed Dave a CD and he plugged it into the player. 

"Your construction   
Smells of corruption   
I manipulate to recreate   
This air to ground saga   
Gotta launder my karma 

I said hallelujah to the sixteen loyal fans   
You'll get down on your muthafuckin' knees   
And it's time for your sickness again   
Come on and tell me what you need   
Tell me what is making you bleed   
We got two more minutes and   
We gonna cut to what you need   
So one of six so tell me   
One do you want to live   
And one of seven tell me   
Is it time for your muthafuckin' ass to give   
Tell me is it time to get down on your muthafuckin' knees   
Tell me is it time to get down-" 

(exerpt Pigeon Hed Battleflag is property of Lo-Fidelity Allstars and co.) 

The crowd of doctors began to dance and cheer as Malik spun out onto the floor. 

"Great taste in music Malucci." Somebody yelled over the din. Dave smiled, grabbing his charts and walking to exam 4 again when he stopped outside exam 3. 

It had been hours.. The poor bastard. Hadn't DeRaad gotten his fat ass downstairs to check on him yet? 

He opened the darkened exam room door, his hand flailing blindly along the wall for the switch. It clicked hollowly and produced   
nothing, but a flickering of the lightboard outside the room as it popped and blew out. Dave cursed under his breath and stepped in   
the room. 

"Lucy?" He muttered nervously as he saw the rumpled sheets and blankets of the empty bed. Lucy's stethascope lay on the floor at his feet and as he stepped forward to pick it up, the door swung shut behind him. "Shit! Lucy y-" 

The knife gleamed in the light that filtered through the window as it came into Dave's peripheral vision and he stumbled forward to   
avoid it's first blow as Paul grabbed him roughly by the arms and slid the long blade into his back. 

If Dave had been able to, he would have laughed. He would have laughed hysterically. Why was this happening to him?? It was surreal, unbelievable. What had he done to deserve this? He was coming to make it up to Lucy? What had he done wrong? 

Before Dave could contemplate this any longer, Paul advanced on him again, digging the blade deeper for a third time. I should be   
stopping this! I should be kicking his ass.. Dave screamed in his thoughts as his knees began to weaken. 

The blood shimmered wet on Dave's navy scrubs. It was warm and trickled down his thigh, tickling him and sending mixed signals of pleasure and pain through his leg. 

His hands groped blindly in front of him, knocking over instrument trays, crashing to the ground as he fell. 

Paul smiled in the shadows and slowly shed his gown. 

Dave moaned softly on the floor, his eyes focusing and his vision clearing to see the body of 'the lost medstudent' bleeding on the   
floor. "Awww shit Luce.." He groaned feebly, using his quickly ebbing strength to turn onto his back and stare his attacker in the   
eye. 

"You bastard... You fucking crazy asshole!" Dave licked his lips, tasting blood. Except this time it wasn't warm or comforting. It was   
cold and wet and salty and it told him that his wounds weren't superficial.. If there was blood in his mouth.... 

Dave lunged at Sobriki, crawling on his belly, yelling his head off. "They can't hear you Dr.Malucci.." Paul said softly. "They're all off having fun without you. They don't care about you. But.. Be careful, Dr.Dave.. If you're too loud.. I'll slit your throat too.. I'm quite good at it actually.." 

With the last bit of strength in his rubbery limbs, Dave made a break for it. Commando crawling across the floor to the doorway, he   
crawled on his forearms, dragging his useless legs and leaving a trail of red. 

His hand strained to reach the door, striking the wood with a wet smack, his bandaged hand now saturated with his own blood as his good hand planted a red print in the open doorway. 

Paul wrapped his hands around Dave's ankles and began slowly pulling him backward, letting the door swing shut.   


Kerry walked into the lounge, shedding her coat, hat and scarf and hanging them in her locker. 

Randi and Andrew sat at the desk musing over large mugs of black coffee. They'd looked up when she'd come in, but they hadn't   
thought anything of it, their shifts didn't start for another fifteen minutes. 

"Where in the hell is Malucci? He IS scheduled to work , is he not?!" She grumbled, pouring herself a cup of brew and standing at the coffee machine. 

Andrew rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned. Working this late was evil and hard on a guy's system. 11pm till 7am .. What sort of crap shift was that?! "Not here... Greene told him that he could have the day off." 

"The day off!!?" Weaver's eyes narrowed and her grip tightened on her crutch. If Mark Greene wasn't careful he'd have this cane shoved soooo far up his ass.. 

"Well. He did work double shifts for Dr.Greene last night. Dr.Greene had made plans or something.. It was pretty busy too." Replied   
Randi, coming to Dave's defense. 

"MARK had plans?! That's not an excuse.. That's laughable.. I want Malucci out here now for his shift. Phone him." Kerry glowered, her fingers knuckled white around the handle of the mug as she sipped it slowly, looking at her watch. He was an hour late already. She hoped he wasn't expecting to be paid for that hour.. Or any of these damn hours he was sleeping off in some exam room.. When she got her hands on him. 

"We tried phoning him. There's no answer at his apartment." Andrew muttered, ripping open another sugar packet and adding it   
to the stack of little empty pink envelopes that towered on the table. He stirred the sludge slowly before sipping it and watching Randi's teeth set on edge at the though of THAT much sugar in coffee. 

"Or his cell phone.." She sighed, pouring a creamer in her coffee and glaring at Andrew. 

"It's off.." Andrew finished for her, smiling slightly as he took a sip. 

"Oh brilliant observation Einstein.." Randi muttered, rolling her eyes. 

"He said he had several dates lined up. Maybe he went home with one of them.." Andrew grinned. 

Kerry stood behind the desk clerk's chair, her cane raised off the ground and inches from his head as she contemplated clocking him   
into next week. 

She watched Randi, looking the woman in the eyes as she lowered the crutch and set it on the floor and let it support her weight. Randi grinned evilly. 

"I don't care if Dave went home with RuPaul, Traci Lords and Dame Edna.. I want him here, I want him on shift. Find him goddammit!" Kerry barked. 

"Kerry.. Some of the staff are wondering if they can turn the music back on.. Malik says his stereo is fine.. There was no lasting damage from you throwing it against the wall." Luka said quietly as he stuck his head in the door. 

"Is it Valentine's Day anymore Kovac?!" She asked through gritted teeth, and not looking up from her coffee. 

"Well.. No.. I guess not." 

"There's your answer. This is the Emergency Outpatients Facility of Cook County General.. Not a disco.. Go see some patients." Kerry grumbled angrily. 

"But." 

"GO!" 

The door slid shut and Kerry glared at the clerks. "Isn't there some place you could be right now? Other than here?" 

Randi and Andrew looked at each other before standing up and dumping their mugs in the sink. 

As they walked out to Admit, they could make out the tinny faint mutterings of music from the CD player that Malik had covertly   
stuffed under the desk. "You better not let Weaver catch you with that, Malik.. She'll have your balls as earrings.." Randi snickered. 

His fingers thrummed on the desk, his newly manicured nails clicking on the Formica, keeping in beat to the secret Beastie Boys   
CD. 

They looked up at the board, a few patients for Chen, a few for Carter, a few even for Luka. Only one remained from last nights   
shift. Inked in beside HEADACHE EXAM 3, were the initials LKn and DM. 

***** 

Paul looked down at his hostages and sighed heavily. They weren't much fun when they were unconscious.. They didn't moan or gasp or blubber or even make stupid escape attempts like Dave had done earlier. 

** 

Dave had learned quickly, Paul's friend was a good teacher. He'd stopped moving after Paul had rolled Dave onto his back and held   
the knife to his throat. 

"You've been a bad bad boy, Dr.Malucci.." Paul hissed sadly. "Bad.." 

Dave's eyes widened as Paul lifted the knife away, lifted the knife up and brought it down into the doctor's stomach. He'd screamed in pain, sobbing as the knife was slipped cleanly from the wound, dripping with his blood. His breath had come in panicked gasps as   
he watched Paul, wondering if he was going to do it again. Instead Paul rose to his feet and stepped away from the doctor letting Dave roll onto his good side and stare at him dully. "Bad.." 

Dave swallowed, the taste of blood familiar in his mouth now.. Like peppermint gum or mints, something that belonged. "Paul.." He'd croaked. But that was all he could manage before a dark shadow of haze passed over him and he slipped into unconsciousness. 

** 

"I have to go feed my dog. I have to go take care of my pets. My dog needs me." Paul announced to his captive comatose audience before he knelt on his haunches before them and drew squiggles in the blood with his finger. "I just wanted to punish you. People when they are bad need to be punished. You hurt me. You stuck things in me. You were trying to cut me. Cut me open. Nobody does that. Nobody steals my organs.. They are mine. You cannot have them. You hurt me, you thought you could trick me. Be nice to me. You were bad though.. You had to be punished. I told you.." Paul said sadly. "I did warn you. You wouldn't listen. You were very very bad.." He said almost tearfully as he stood, getting to his feet. 

He looked down at the bodies at his feet, the back of his gown gaping, his feet bare and a mottled purple from the cold floor. 

"I have to go now.. I have to feed my dog." 

Paul wandered from the exam room, down the hall, the knife still clutched in his hand like a child's security blanket or stuffed animal. He stood in the doorway, his doctor and medstudent unconscious from significant blood loss, glancing around for a place to lose his   
childhood, the security blanket clenched in his bloody white knuckled fist. 

He wandered down the hall, the ratty blue bathrobe flapping in the air before he stopped, looking upwards and around. The admit desk was busy, but with people doing work or at least pretending to, they didn't notice the young man straining his arm upwards, Paul on the end of his toes trying to get rid of his friend, his need. With a grunt of strength, he popped the butcher knife up top the supplies shelf and slowly returned to the ground, standing on the balls of his feet. 

Paul glanced around quickly, before continuing to wander down the hall and out the door to freedom.   
  



	5. Courage: 5

cour5.html   
Weaver crutched from the lounge and down the hall, her belly filled with warm coffee and the stale crullers that had been left in a box on the counter. She picked up a chart from the growing stack and flipped through it. "Is ANYONE seeing patients today?!" Kerry asked sarcastically, glaring at the group of doctors clustered at the desk. 

"I am, Dr.Weaver." Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen announced proudly. "I've got a favour to ask you actually. My patient swallowed this and the lab refuses to test it because he's not showing any symptoms of poisoning." 

"Is there an ingredient list?" Kerry murmured, taking the bottle from the resident. 

"Hermoine's Magical Erection Elixir." Chen blushed red. 

"How old is your patient exactly?" Kerry cocked a brow, turning the bottle over in her hands. 

"Two." 

"and does he have an erection?" Kerry said with a smirk. 

"Well no.." Deb turned purple. 

"Well.. I'll take it. I'll get toxicology to test it for you." The ER chief took the bottle and continued down the hall, when she heard   
somebody chasing after her. 

"Kerry! You're here!" 

Weaver turned around to see a relieved Luka chasing her down the hall. "Yes Luka? You've known I was here for an hour now.. Is there a problem?" 

"No.. Not really. I just realized that I'm off shift now. That's all.." He smiled sheepishly. 

"Well then.. Off you go. You have any patients to get me up to speed on?" Kerry replied mildly irritated. 

A few.. Cupid in exam 4.. He was mobbed by a bunch of bitter, drunken women coming out of a singles bar. Exposure, mild   
hypothermia and frostbite. The cops found him hanging and duct-taped to the street sign outside the bar..." Luka paused, blushing.   
"Wearing nothing but his wings.." 

"Anything else?" 

"Well.. He had his little bow and arrow.." He admitted. 

"No... I mean patients.." She said frustrated. "Any other patients?" 

"Lucy and Dave's patient I guess.. We've all been a little preoccupied to discharge him." Luka stared at his feet and sighed. 

"You mean the head-ache? I thought we were waiting on a psych consult?" Kerry took the chart from Luka and looked through it. 

"Hi Kerry.. Happy Valentine's Day.." Karl DeRaad muttered cheerfully. Better late than never, he thought to himself. He   
remembered he'd told Lucy three hours.. But.. It was Valentine's day.. He had a lot of nutty people upstairs. Lucy also had a tendency to over-react as well.. He was here now though.. "I guess it's not technically Valentine's Day anymore.." 

Luka nodded sadly. He wanted his party music back. 

"Do you know where I can find a.." Karl looked down at his chart. "Paul Sobriki?" 

"We were all wondering about that ourselves actually." Kerry muttered. 

"Hey.. Dr.Weaver.. The films are back on the screamer in exam two.. Can you take a look at them?" Carter handed the doctor the   
envelope. She nodded slipping from from the manila and tacking them up on the lightboard. 

It popped and the switch clicked, the bulb was dead. "Aww for christ's sake!" Kerry ripped them down and stomped to another   
board down the hall and pinned them up. She bit her lip, cocking her head slightly. "Is that my.." 

Carter grinned. "Yeah.. He disappeared.. I figured he'd discharged himself AMA when I was getting some shut eye in exam one.. That's your watch. A pair of tweezers, a syringe, a pair of rubber gloves.. That there is one of Dave's rings.. That.. I think is.. Hey! That's my pen!! Awww gross.." 

Kerry chuckled.. "I don't think my watch will ever keep time again.. He can keep it.. As for the other things.. Try an endoscopy and page a surgical consult just in case. Hopefully they can get here a little quicker than psych manages to." 

DeRaad reddened and shuffled his feet. "Kerry.. I..." 

She slipped the films back into the envelope and handed them back to Carter. "Sobriki's in exam th..reee.." Kerry murmured glancing back at the board. "That's right.. I gave it to Malucci.. Teaching case.. Probably stress related or a low-grade tumour.. Why did Lucy call you again?" 

Her hand went to the door and she paused. "Carter.." 

"Yeah, Dr.Wea- Hey.. Shit.. Look at that!!" Carter pointed to the mark on the floor next to Kerry's crutch. The hand print on the floor, the finger marks trailing back into the room as if the hand had been blindly groping for something to hold onto. 

The colour dropped from her face and the hand grasping her crutch started to shake. "Carter.. Go get security." She whispered softly. 

Her hand pressed inward on the door as it slipped open and the dark room cast in a grey haze as it was hit by light. Taking a few   
tentative steps forward, Kerry flubbed for the light and realized it was blown.. She moved farther into the room, not daring to breathe before she nearly collapsed at the sight. 

"Oh.. Oh.. Oh my god.." Her knuckles whitened around the cane as Kerry struggled to stand upright. She walked further, her voice   
cracking and filled with tears, her body shaking with exertion and fear. "Oh god.." Kerry murmured. 

Luka and DeRaad followed close, their mouths agape. Kerry turned burying her face into Luka's shirt. "Luka.." She moaned softly. "Was.. Is.. Is that Malucci and Lucy?!" 

Luka stood, stunned.. The ER Chief, County's Rock, bawling into his shirt. A doctor and a medstudent bleeding all over the clean tile. All he could see was Malucci's sneakers. Feeling like he was going to be sick, all he could do was slowly raise his arms and encircle them around her trembling body. His hand rubbed her back as he spoke comfortingly. "Yes.. Kerry.. I think it may be.." He replied in solemn disbelief.. This couldn't be happening. 

***** 

"Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to. Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you."Mark grinned, holding Elizabeth's hand and kissing it softly as she joined in, horribly off-key. 

"Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand, Vanished from my hand, Left me blindly here to stand but still not   
sleeping. My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet, I have no one to meet And the ancient empty street's too dead for drea-   
ming." She broke off in fits of giggles and the parents at the table exchanged harried glances. 

"Those two are awful aren't they?" David Greene grimaced and sipped his beer. 

Isabelle Corday nodded in agreement. "She had singing lessons as a child, but even the best opera singers couldn't help her. She's tone deaf. Poor thing.. She gets it from her father's side of the family." Her hand went up half-heartedly in a wave as Elizabeth waved madly from the stage. "Whose idea was it to go to a karaoke bar again?" 

David 'dropped his fork' and as he bent down, he nonchalantly stuffed small wads of napkin in his ears. "Not mine.. I wanted to stay   
home and watch the Patton war-recreation marathon on DISCOVERY." He grumbled. "I need a good strong scotch." 

"Make that two." Isabelle muttered raising her hand and waving over the waiter. 

******** 

"We paged the O.R.. Benton should be down in a minute.." Lily murmured as she watched Lucy being wheeled into a trauma room. 

"Does he know it's them?" Lydia said sadly as she helped the doctors and nurses transfer Lucy to the gurney in the trauma two. 

"I didn't think to tell him.. Haleh.. Have you phoned the police yet?" Lily murmured, staring at Lucy's bloodied labcoat as she cut it off. 

"I AM! The bastards put me on hold.. " Haleh hissed at her, turning back to the phone. "Hello?! Just get somebody here! Everyone in the damn city knows where Cook County is for chrissakes!" 

"Haleh.. Get over here.. Bag her.." Kerry barked, struggling to keep her hands steady. She'd done this. She'd given the chart to Dave.. She had told him to take Lucy along.. "Call for blood and get two units on the rapid infuser.. Now!!" 

Her gaze floated upwards and saw Luka and Carter working on Malucci.. God help them both.. This was all her fault. 

**** 

"Dave!? Can you hear me Dave? Dave?? Come on Dave.." Carter pleaded with him sadly. 

"His airway's clear.." Luka said as he backed away from Malucci and walked around the gurney as Carter assessed Dave's alertness,   
although it was a little more forward than he would have liked. "Set up the rapid infuser and notify the OR.." He ordered to Chuni who ran to the phone. 

"For fuck's sake, Malucci! Open your eyes!" Carter yelled at him, gripping the man's shoulders and shaking him slightly. 

Dave's head bobbed with the movement, and rolled to the side, a trickle of blood ran from his mouth. Luka bit his lip and closed his   
eyes for a second to compose himself. "N-no response to command.. Glascow Coma scale seven..." 

"What are his resps, pulse and BP!?" Luka said as he started to cut off Dave's scrub top.. It slid off from the body easily, his chest slick with his own blood. Dave's firm six-pack and pecs shone with a brilliant red as the overhead light beat down on the residents like a morning sun. 

"Resps are 32, Pulse is 126 and his BP's 90.." Lily said as she pulled the velcroed cuff away from the muscled arm, the only body part that wasn't covered in blood. 

"God.. He must have been laying there for hours.. Did you see the handprint in the doorway? He.. He was trying to get out.. I.. I wonder if he yelled for help? What if he did and we didn't hear him?" Abby said tearfully. 

"I can't believe it.. How come NOBODY saw any of this?!" Wendy squeaked in disbelief. 

"We were too busy eating cutty pie hearts and listening to Fresh Children on the Cube" Luka murmured before shaking his head.   
"What are his vitals now?" 

"Breath sounds are good in the left and right lung.. Resps are up to 24.. Blood Pressure's at 125 and pulse is 100.." Wendy said as Luka nodded, relieved. 

"He's improving.." Luka murmured softly. 

Dave's eyelids started to flutter as he moaned. 

"Dave!? Dave.. Can you hear me?!" Carter asked with sudden relief as he looked over into trauma two and Kerry was waving him in. 

**   



	6. Courage: 6

cour6.html ** 

"Stab wounds to the neck, chest.." Kerry swallowed, as her hands moved over the body, assessing her injuries. "Three to the belly..   
Right and left upper quadrants, and one on the lower left quadrant.." She informed her team, trying to keep her voice even. 

"We need to intubate.." Kerry said positioning herself at Lucy's head. "WHAT'S HER BLOOD PRESSURE!?" She barked. 

Haleh glared at her. "Hang on a second.. Her pulse ox is 84.. " 

"I'll get a chest tube tray.." Carter muttered before Kerry yelled at him to get back. "Central line kit. Start a central line.. and Haleh.. I didn't ask you for her pulse-ox! What in the hell is her BP!?" 

Haleh sputtered, her hands moving quickly. "BP's 90/50.." 

Kerry rolled her eyes.. "Fine.. Was that so hard!? Get me four units of O-neg.. Hang two on the rapid infuser!! Give me some Cricoid pressure.." She barked as she struggled with the E/T tube.. Her hands slipping and trembling as she tried to angle the scope. Haleh   
pressing on the larynx so Weaver could visualize the chords. 

"Hey.. Dr.Weaver.. Are you okay??" Carter said worriedly as he watched the Chief fumble. "I can do it if you want.." 

"No.. I... I.." Kerry bit her lip and slid out the scope. "I got it.. Start the central line..." 

Carter sighed with relief. "Okay.. I need some Betadine and a sterile drip." He eyed Kerry closely. Her colour was off.. This was hitting her harder than anyone. 

"I.. I can't.. I can't believe this.. I can't believe that those two were the only ones seeing patients around here and they're the ones   
paying for it with their damn lives!" Kerry shook her head sadly andgazed upwards as she watched them roll Dave. 

"Two stab wounds to the right flank. First one is at L4, centimeters of the midline.. Second one's at L5 in the midscarpel line. One stab wound to the left flank at L3.." Wendy said tearfully as they rolled Dave back. "One to the abdomen, paraumbilical.." 

"Squeeze in three units and prepare for a subclavian.. What's his BP and pulse?" Luka said gravely. 

Wendy sniffled. "BP's 60/50, pulse 100." She murmured sadly. 

"Pulse ox 94.." Chen announced, tears glistening in her eyes, Dave flailed an arm and grabbed her hand. 

"Stay.." He said groggily, the blood marring his words. "Don't leave me Cindy.. I.. I need you.." 

Chen looked at Luka who nodded. "I'm not Cindy.." She hissed at him. 

Luka shook his head. "Yes you are." 

Deb looked at the Croatian fearfully as Dave grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Stay here.. I.. I don't want to be alone.. It hurts.." He moaned painfully. "Don't leave me Cindy.." 

She watched Luka's eyes as she replied to the altered Dave, her voice cracking and filling with tears. "I.. I won't.. I'll stay here Dave.. I promise.. I won't leave your side." 

"Should we intubate?? Can I try? I mean.. It's just Malucci.." Abby said tearfully. 

Luka nodded. "Yes.. but I'm doing it.. Get a portable x-ray in here and type and cross for four units. Prepare for a laparotomy." 

Abby shook her head sadly as she left the trauma room. "I was just talking to the bastard.. It's no fair.. I should be able to intubate him.. I mean I've had to put up with enough of his asinine jokes." 

** 

Benton ran down the stairs three at a time, down the halls, pulling on his gloves and cursing softly as he banged into a cart in the hall and limped into the Trauma room. "What in the hell happened!? Aww.. Dammit!? Malucci!? Who did this!? Not that I blame them   
really." He said trailing off and stared into the adjoining trauma as Lydia nodded tearfully. 

"They got Lucy too.. The police think it may have been a patient." 

Peter sighed and pushed past Kovac into Lucy's trauma room. "What do we got?? You're traching her?!" 

"Well yes, Peter.." Kerry muttered angrily as she finished prepping Lucy's neck with disinfectant and filled a syringe with Lidocaine on an IV Cannula 16 gauge. She angled it at 45 degrees towards herlungs and feet and ignored Benton as she started to aspirate the free air confirming the tracheal space as bubbles started to form in the Lidocaine and the piston started to slide. The breath she had been holding, whistled out slowly as Kerry injected the Lidocaine and advanced the cannula into the trachea. 

Lucy started to gag, her body shaking and coughing as it tried to reject Kerry's life saving measures. As she bit her lip, Kerry held firm finishing the intubation as she demounted the syringe, grasping the cannula firmly and attaching the jet insufflator, the oxygen line and microvalve. Kerry sighed in relief as Lucy's chest started to rise. "You wanted something Peter? Of course I trached her.. The bastard slit her throat.. She started to aspirate blood.." 

Kerry trembled and watched as the nurses cleared the empty intubation tray and cleaned up the clutter, struggling to keep her BP   
and vitals level. "I had her tubed, then she started bleeding out.. How's Malucci doing?" 

Peter shrugged. "Malucci? I'm sure he'll live.." 

"PETER!" Kerry growled. 

"All right! I'll be right back." He growled in return, banging angrily through the doors. "How's he doing?" 

"We did a laparotomy. There was gross haemoperitoneum and a large retroperitoneal haematoma. We were going to cross clamp but I think he'd have a better chance in the OR.. What do you th-" 

Dave, who had been semi-conscious, slumped on the gurney and his BP began to drop... "Aww shit!" Luka moaned before he could stop and Chen raised an eyebrow. 

"Intubate, hang a two more bags of O-neg on the rapid infuser and bag him!! We have to get him to the OR.." Benton barked, coming to the aid of the doctors as the frantic beeping drowned out his orders and gave the surgeon a splitting headache. 

**** 

"Did you page Elizabeth and Mark yet?" Kovac looked up from the bloody mess of Dave that Benton was up to his elbows in. 

"We've tried.. We're still trying.. They must have them switched off.." Randi said tearfully, standing in the doorway. 

"I need the Supracoeliac Aortic. We have to clamp off so we can get him upstairs. We have to get his pressure up people... We're losing him.." Benton's usually steady hand trembled as he threaded the blue prolene. 

Haleh burst through the doors. "Peter.. We need you in trauma two.. Lucy's crashing and Weaver's actin' weird." 

"HEY! You just can't leave! You're in the middle of this! You can't just-" Kovac trailed off and looked at Dave split open on the table. This was not happening.. It couldn't be. A single lyric floated in his head and he shook it free. "This is not really happening.. You bet your life it is.." But he couldn't bet his life.. There were lives at stake right   
now.. and they weren't his. This wasn't about him. 

***** 

Mark smiled at his fiancee and hit his palm flat on the top of the piano. "Hey... You know Tori Amos?" He said grinning drunkenly at the pianist. 

"Well not personally buddy.." The man replied sarcastically. 

"Do you know the song 'Cornflake Girl'???" Mark shifted on his stool and grasped Elizabeth's hand in his. 

"Cornflake girl?" The pianist cocked a brow and looked back at his bandmates. "You guys know 'Cornflake Girl'??" 

The band rolled their eyes and nodded. "Yeah we know it Jack.." As they tuned up their guitars to match the un-even key that their   
'guests' were caterwauling in, the drummer snickered. "Are these guys on crack or something?" 

The pianist seemed to ignore the comment as he played out a new experimental notes and the two doctors began to sing. 

"Never was a cornflake girl. Thought that was a good solution.   
Hangin' with the raisin girls she's gone to the other side. Givin us a-   
yo-heave-ho. Things are getting kind of gross and I go at sleepy time.   
This is not really happening. You bet your life it is. Peel out the   
watchword just peel out the watchword. 

She knows what's going on seems we got a cheaper feel now.   
All the sweeteaze are gone. Gone to the other side with my   
encyclopedia. They musta paid her a nice price. She's puttin   
on her string bean love. This is not really happening. You bet your life it is. 

Rabbit where'd you put the keys girl. And the man with the   
golden gun thinks he knows so much, thinks he knows so much.   
Rabbit ... where'd you put the keys girl..." - Tori Amos (Cornflake Girl) 

***** 

"W-we have to crack her.." Kerry murmured as the nurses handed her the saw. The prized sternal saw. The saw that she'd butted heads with Romano and Benton to get. The saw that filled her with raw excitement everytime she held it. Now her hands shook and fear paralyzed her like virus invading her system. 

Benton watched her frozen, the saw clenched in her grasp. He watched the monitors and Lucy. He heard the monitors click, whir   
and suddenly sound as Lucy worsened. Slowly crossing the floor, he stood poised as the nurses disinfected the site and he pulled the saw from her hands. Kerry nodded slightly and didn't fight it as she watched Peter saw open the medstudent. 

"Rib spreader... Suction.. Come on people.." 

****   



	7. Courage: 7

cour7.html **** 

"Time of death.. 2:46." Chen announced, the tears drying on her cheeks as she kept her gaze locked on the clock. 

"Do you want me to get the death kit, Deb?" Carter said worriedly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'll do it for you." 

"No... I'll clean him up. I phoned his parents already. They're flying in. " She said quietly as she busied herself and started cleaning up the body. "He always stared at my ass. He was such a pig.. But he didn't deserve this, John. He didn't deserve to die this way." Tears   
streamed down her cheeks and she wiped them away angrily. "It's not fair." 

Carter gave a slow nod in agreement and pulled her into a hug. "Nobody deserves that, Deb. Come on.. The nurses can clean him up. Let's go next door to Magoo's.." 

"I.. I can't leave him.. I promised him.. I promised him I wouldn't leave him alone by himself. I can't leave him like that John. I can't   
leave him all cut up like that. Please.." Deb burst into tears, soaking into Carter's shirt, warm, wet and full of pain. 

"Everything will work out with Lucy.. That's all we can hope for. There's nothing left to do for Dave now.." Carter whispered   
hoarsely, leading her from the building. 

****** 

"Okay buddy.. It's 3am.. We're closing up now." The Bar owner muttered gruffly as Mark crooned drunkenly on his stool. The band had gone home hours ago, but that didn't stop Mark from requesting obscure songs and singing off-key into his 'Mark-tinis' as   
he had started to laughingly refer to them after his 8th one. 

"Come on Mark.. We're going home." Elizabeth said angrily, pulling him by the arm. 

"Buuut Elisssssssabetthhhhhhhh!!" Mark whined as she dragged him to the Durango. 

"Get in you stupid sod! How could you get that drunk!?" She huffed as the parents trailed along behind. 

As they got nearer to the truck they could hear the cell phones ringing frantically inside. Quickly Elizabeth unlocked the driver's   
side door and wrenched it open, annoyed. She grabbed the phone off the seat and hit TALK. 

"What in the hell do you want!? This better be good!?" 

******** 

"It... It's Lucy and Dave.. There was.." Randi burst into tears. "We need you down here.. We need you.." 

"Randi.. What happened?? What's going on??" Elizabeth said worriedly as she peeled out of the parking lot. 

"Lucy.. She.. They.. Lucy and Dave were stabbed.." The deskclerk's voice wavered as she struggled not to cry again. 

"Stabbed!? Oh my lord! I.. Are they okay??" The surgeon said as it started to pour rain and she struggled to keep the car on the road, put the wipers on and talk to Randi. 

"No.. Lucy.. Lucy's in surgery and Dave.. Dave he-" The phone crackled with static and cut out. 

"RANDI!!!??? Dave what!?" Elizabeth cursed and threw the phone onto the seat. "Piece of shit!" She said hoarsely as they careened around the corner. 

"Elizabeth.. What's wrong!?? What happened!? Somebody was stabbed?" Mark said surprisingly lucid for all the 'Mark-tinis' he'd drank in the bar.. "What happened!?" 

She shook her head, the thick red hair bouncing down her back. "I.. I don't know Mark.. I don't know.. But we have to get there.." 

** 

Elizabeth peeled rubber around the corners as Mark sat huddled in the corner, a lighter shade of green. "P-please Elizabeth.. Please.. Please stop.. I'm.. I'm going to puke.." 

"Mark.. We have to get there.. You're not going to puke.. Mark! What are you doing!?" 

Mark jiggled the handle and the rush of wind filled their ears as he popped open the door and started to vomit onto the road that quickly disappeared into the distance. "Ohgawd!!!!!!!! Ohman!!!" 

The Durango bounced and shifted on it's springs, trying to compensate for Elizabeth's less than stellar driving habits. There was a thud and the door connected with something as she zipped precariously around another street corner and hit a curb. 

He raised his head and rubbed his eyes wearily, slamming the door and laying back in the seat. "What was that thump?" 

Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know.... I probably hit another damned street sign.. I'll never understand why you people   
insist on driving on the wrong side of the road. We're almost there Mark.." 

** 

"Amira.. There's a kid in exam four.. We're out of suture kits.. Can you go get some more?" Cleo stuck her head out of the exam room. 

"What do I look like? A nurse? Get them yourself!" Amira huffed tearfully walking back to the desk. 

"Goddammit.." She growled under her breath as she left the exam room. "Stay there Timmy.." Cleo muttered, continuing down the hall and bumping into a cop. "Hey.. Sorry.. I-I have to get some supplies for my patient." 

"Are you one of the doctors who worked on the stabbing victims??" The cop prodded, flipping open his notepad. 

"Actually.. No.. I'm not really supposed to be here.. But they needed a doctor. We're.. short-staffed." Cleo muttered walking to the supply closet and rummaging through it as the cop stood over her. "Look.. I have a patient.. Go bug somebody else." 

"I'm just trying to do my job, lady." The cop muttered angrily. 

"So am I!" Cleo stormed down the hall to the supply shelves as she started pulling things off, suddenly disrupting the whole case and   
sending everything crashing down around her ears. "AUGH!!!!" 

The cop chased her down the hall and called to his partner. "I think I found the murder weapon.. Don't move, lady.." 

The knife jutted from a box, inches from missing Cleo's head. She sighed raggedly and snatched up the suture kit. "I.. I have to get back to work." 

*** 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED ID!!??? I WORK HERE!!!" Mark yelled drunkenly. "I need to get in there!! Lemme in!! Come on man!" He hopped from foot to foot, and pulled his wallet from his pocket.. "SEE!!? Dr.Marcus Louis Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene." He whined. "Can I go now!?" 

The cop rolled his eyes and let the doctors through. "Dad go park the car." Mark muttered as he ran into the bathroom. 

"Park it?" David Greene. "Where did he want me to park it?" 

"Screw parking it.. I say we go to the casinos.. What do you think, David?" Isabelle smiled. 

"In Chicago?" David cocked a brow. 

"No... In Vegas of course.." She laughed as her daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law were rushing down the halls to the ER. 

**** 

"Randi! What happened!?" Elizabeth ran up to the desk, breathing heavily. "My phone started breaking up.. I didn't catch the last part of the message.." 

Randi wiped her eyes and sighed. "Lucy's up in surgery. Dave.. He.." She pulled a wad of Kleenex from the box and blew her nose. 

"Randi.. Where's Kovac?" Kerry looked over at Elizabeth and glared at her. "It's about damn time you showed up!!!" Her gaze floated to Mark who leaned on the wall and stared at them all dully. "How drunk did you get him?!" 

Elizabeth returned the glare. "Don't blame me.. The pagers and cell phones were in the Durango.. We didn't want to be interrupted on Valentine's Day.. As for Mark.." She rolled her eyes. "Louis over there can't handle his liquor." 

"Well you're here now.. Lucy's upstairs.. I'm sure they could use some help." Kerry growled. 

"What about Malucci??" Elizabeth said worriedly. 

"Malucci's...." Kerry sighed. "Malucci's my fault.. If I hadn't given him that chart. I thought it was just a simple headache.. That psychotic asshole.." She wiped away a tear and crutched down the hallway. 

*** 

"We finally have the bleeding under control.." Romano muttered to himself as Elizabeth walked into the room gowned and the nurses pulled on a pair of gloves for her. 

"How's she doing Robert?" She murmured, walking to the gurney. 

"Well.. She's not dead.. Lucy has that going for her.." He replied as he called for suction. "Damn.. She's bleeding again.. For fuck's sake.. I have to find the bleed.. Dammit.." 

"Robert.. Thorocotomy!?" She said tearfully. 

"She tamponaded.. They cracked her in the ER.. Word has it that Weaver flaked.. Benton had to use the sternal and do it himself." He muttered angrily as his fingers probed her organs looking for the bleed. 

"Her Blood pressure's 105 over 70, Dr.Romano.." Shirley whispered. 

"Robert.. It's her spleen.. Her spleen's still bleeding... Robert.. We have to take it out." Elizabeth said tearfully. 

"Blood pressure's dropping.. 80 over 60.." Shirley said frantically. Romano glared at her. 

"Hang another unit then.." 

"It's not working, Robert.. She's losing it faster than we can give it to her.. It's not working." Elizabeth said shaking her head. 

"It IS working.. It WILL work DAMMIT!!" 

***** 


	8. Courage: 8

cour8.html ***** 

"Incoming trauma.. Pedestrian versus automobile.." Randi said, turning off the two-way radio. 

"When are they coming in?" Abby exited the lounge with Chen and sighed. "I don't think I could take much more of this.." She murmured softly. 

"Right now actually.. They found him wandering the street and bleeding.. Something about a car chasing him down and running him over.." Randi rolled her eyes. "Christine's Revenge." 

Abby and Deb ran to the doors and fished out their wallets, showing   
their IDs before they ran out into the ambulance bay. "What do we got?" 

Deb wrinkled her nose. "Aww gross... That's so gross!" 

Abby held her hand over her mouth and nose and backed up. "Yuck... He's covered in-" 

Morales grinned. "Yeah.. Covered in chunks.. He says that some guy in a car chased him down and barfed all over him. Some big conspiracy. We tried to clean him up, but he started screamin' so we figured you guys could have a go.. There's no head-trauma that we could see, but the guy's nuts anyway." 

"Why?" Abby cocked a brow. 

"Well.. Let's see.. Running around in the streets covered in puke and   
blood.. Running around in the streets covered in puke and blood and wearing no clothes in the middle of February. Not to mention the fact that he started going on about how Bill Gates wanted you guys to harvest his organs so he could sell them on EBay." Obles snickered. 

"Stop it! Bill can't have my organs!! I'm saving them for Oprah!!"   
Paul screamed as Malik and the gang pinned him down. 

"Oprah?" Malik grinned at the paramedics. 

"Yeah.. Apparently Oprah is selling organs of psychos on the black   
market." Morales laughed. 

"Diminished breath sounds on the left.. Get a portable chest in here.. Probably a collapsed lung.. Add a Trauma panel, C-spine, chest and pelvis to that too.." Chen's pen light flitted over Paul's wild eyes.   
"Pupils four millimetres, equal and reactive." 

"STOP!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!! I NEED MY ORGANS! I WAS GOING TO PHONE UP THAT COOKING SHOW... CANNIBALS COOK! THEN THEY CAN MAKE A TASTY DISH WITH MY KIDNEYS!! STOP THIS!! PLEASE!" Paul lunged off the table. "STOP!" 

"Haldol, Dr.Weaver??" Yosh said leaping back from the gurney as Paul's arm flew by inches from his head. 

Kerry nodded, grabbing the syringe and jabbing it hard into Sobriki's   
leg and depressing the plunger. 

"AUGH!!!!!!!!! YOU STABBED ME!!!" Paul screamed as Kerry stomped from the room. 

"That's right you bastard.." Kerry muttered angrily before letting the   
doors slip close. She walked to the ambulance bay, the cool air rushing over her and pimpling her arms with goosebumps. "I wish this day would end.. I don't think I can take much more of this." She   
murmured to herself.   
  
***** 

"Kerrrry?" Mark slurred as he leaned up against the building.. "Rough night?" His hands went to his face and rubbed his tired eyes, bloodshot from too much alcohol and not enough sleep. 

"Rough night? Mark.. That's putting it mildly.." Kerry grumbled, slumping down beside him. 

"Yeah.. I heard Dave was killed.. That's..." He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't any other word to describe it, but weird.. He's dead.. That's weird.. I mean.. He was there.. Yesterday.. Shooting hoops.. Being a general asshole.. He.. He took my coffee mug.. He actually asked for last night off.. Made a bunch of dates apparently.. But we were too busy.. God.. You think I killed him, Kerry??!" Mark shuddered, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

"Sobriki's not a murderer, and neither are you Mark.. Not yet.." Kerry murmured, staring into her hands. "Dave's upstairs.. They just took him off life-support, took him off the vent.. If he survives the apnea.. Then.. Then Sobriki's locked in a mental institution, if he doesn't? He's still locked in a looney bin." Kerry sighed. "No matter what.. Sobriki wins.. He deserves to be scraped raw with a cheese grater, dipped in vinegar, have jumper cables attached to his genitals and be electrocuted as he's getting beaten with barbed wire." 

Mark nodded solemnly. "Yeah.. I think that about sums it up pretty well." 

***** 

"How are you feeling, Malucci??" Ginny murmured, as she wheeled the linen cart past his bed and started stripping the gurney next to him. Ginny pulled fresh sheets from the cart and started to pull them on when Dave tapped her on the back. 

He swallowed painfully, motioning for water glass on the night stand and the ICU nurse smiled at him, pouring her patient a fresh glass from the pitcher. "I guess you're experiencing a little dry mouth.. That's normal for what you've been through." She said as she wrapped his weak fingers around the glass and directed it to his   
parched lips. 

"Th-thank... you Gin.." Dave whispered hoarsely. "Where.. Where is everyone?" 

"They're around, Dave... Lucy's still in surgery. Benton will be in shortly. I'm sure you will get many visitors, but it's important you rest." Ginny reached over and tucked the blankets up to his chin. 

"Lucy still in surgery??!!" His eyes widened and Dave shuddered. "He.. I.. Sobriki.. He laugh. Laugh. If she die?? What then? He crazy.. Lucy right.. I.. If she die.. My fault.. I killed her, Ginny. I did not   
be-lieve her." Tears slid down his cheeks and hung suspended at the bridge of his nose before continuing on their journey and soaking into the hem of his bedsheet. 

"Oh.. David.. That's not true and you know it!" She scolded, hands on hips. "It was not your fault. Lucy was not your responsibility. She is a grown woman, and even though you were supervising her, somebody SHOULD have been supervising you. Accidents happen.. This was nobody's fault." Ginny squeezed his hand and rubbed her thumb softly over the supple skin on his palm. 

"Has.. Has any-one phoned m-my parents?? Cindy?" Dave's voice strained and he lay back on the pillows, breathing heavily. 

"They've been contacted, yes.. They're coming in.. I'll be sure to tell you when they get here, David.." The nurse smiled and kissed the top of his head. "You take care. I have to run." 

"W-what a.." Dave sighed, furrowing his brow. "What about.. the.. b-bed?" 

Ginny looked behind her and sighed. "I'll get Brenda to do it.. If she defies me.. I'll push her in front of a bus." There was a playful gleam in the nurse's eye and Dave smiled. 

"Y-you w-wouldn't do th-that?!" He struggled to make a coherent sentence and the blipping of his heart-monitor had quickened. 

She smiled comfortingly as she walked from the room. "No.. Brenda's so scattered, she'd probably walk in front of it.. I'll see you later, Duck.." 

Dave nodded, pulling the O2 mask down over his face again and took deep breaths as he fell asleep. 

***** 

"Endstage lung cancer, that must have sucked, Deb. Did he have any family?" Carter patted her hand comfortingly as they sipped their coffee. 

"No. He came in regularly for treatment, radiation, chemo.. B-but he refused to quit smoking. I-I told him. No.. He w-wouldn't.. He refused.. B-but no.. Clarence h-had no family. I.. I was the only one who cared. He came in.. His oxygen tank was out.. He was in respiratory failure.. He couldn't breathe.." Deb burst into tears. "There wasn't anything I could do! I couldn't do anything to h-help.. I.. I've done the speech so many times, John.. I could do it in my sleep. 'We used all our capabilities, all the methods and treatments available to resuscitate your loved one, but we were unable to save his life. I'm very sorry for your loss. But.. Now.. Now.. I have to basically give the speech to myself.. I was the only one who cared about t-the bastard.. Now it sounds wrong in my head.. Like it's a lie.. I mean... There must have been SOMETHING I could have done, John.. Something I missed.. Something I didn't do and should have.." Tears rolled down her face and Carter sighed sadly, his own eyes tearing up. 

"Deb.. You said it yourself.. There was nothing you could do." He started to tear up a napkin into little bits, like Lucy had been doing to her Kleenex only a few hours previous. "He was in pain.. He was suffering. It's good that he's at peace now." 

"OH? PEACE?! HE'S NOT AT PEACE!!! HE'S *DEAD* JOHN! D-E-A-D! HE'S DEAD.. HE'S DEAD AND I KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!" Deb screamed at him. People looked up from their coffees and stared at her. 

"Come on Deb.. You're just a little stressed about Malucci and Lucy.. Everything will be okay.." Carter said soothingly, pulling her back into her seat and holding her hand. 

"Will it John? Will it? Can you promise me that?" 

******* 


	9. Courage: 9

cour9.html ******* 

"Meschler manuever.." Romano muttered angrily as he grabbed the surgical scissors and called for suction. His fingers worked quickly in the site, tying off the bleed as he began to repair the spleen. 

"We have to take it out Robert. There's no other way.. She's lost too much blood. There's no other way." Elizabeth insisted. 

"I can do it, Lizzie.." The surgeon's voice trembled and the light shone over the two doctors, the sweat gleaming on his brow. "I'm doing it.. Just work on trying to repair the kidney.." 

"Her pressure's dropping again Dr.Romano." Shirley informed him again as she hung another unit." 

"Dammit Shirley.. Hang another u-" He gazed over at the stand and sighed. "Good.. Add them as she needs them." 

"Robert.. I really think-" Elizabeth shook her head sadly as Romano glared at her. 

"Did I ask you what you think, Dr.Corday?" He snapped at her. 

"No.. But.." She looked away from the table, vomit rising in her throat. 

"Keep your eyes on your work, Dr.Corday." He said sternly. "Do as I say, Elizabeth. You are assisting me.. Don't forget that. Unless I ask your opinion, I don't require it. Got that? Now shut up and let me concentrate." Romano smirked, but there was a distinct disappointment and waver of the confidence and cockiness that usually dominated in his brown eyes.. The cockiness was gone.. In it's place, Elizabeth was certain it was fear. Lucy was slipping and he knew it. 

*** 

"Good morning, David." Donald Anspaugh bowed his head in greeting as he entered the post-op recovery room. 

"Where's Dr.Pete?" Dave murmured. "G-ginny said that Dr.Pete would be coming." 

Anspaugh sighed, scratching his head as he shuffled into the room, closing the door behind him. "Dr.*BENTON* is downstairs in the ER.. Bus versus mini-van.. Driver was killed on scene, he's trying to save an eleven month old baby.. God help it.." 

"Oh.." Dave sighed, thoroughly upset that he was missing a prime trauma. "Any other casualties?" 

"Actually no.. You and uh.. Miss Knight.. Have been the biggest thing we've had to deal with as of late.. The children on the bus were   
un-harmed." Don replied, biting the inside of his cheek. 

"Ohh. So.. How much of me did you take out, and how many scalpels and clamps did you forget inside when you stitched me back up?" A small, distressed smile passed Malucci's lips as he stared at the surgeon. 

"Leaving surgical tools inside you? We did no such thing.. Dr.Benton and I..." Donald trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to be frank with you, Dr.Malucci. Your injuries were quite severe.." 

"So I figured.." Dave muttered under his breath, his eyes closing as he remembered the knife coming down squarely into his stomach, Paul's face contorted in madness. 

"David.." Anspaugh said, his tone, gruff, his hands rubbing over his face, tiredly. 

"Sorry.." The doctor turned patient stared down at the blanket, pulling off the fluff and rolling it in his fingers. 

"That's quite alright. Now then.. Your injuries. You had a stab wound to the abdomen, paraumbilical.. Two to the right flank, one to the right flank.. One of those stab wounds hit the midscarpel line... We tied off, and transected the kidney.. We had to remove it.. We saved your lower intestine though.. You were a few inches away from losing a large quantity of your lower intestine.." Anspaugh rubbed his eyes. 

"Anything else?" Dave's eyes slipped closed and he groaned in relief as the PCA clicked, whirred and administered his next dosage of painkillers. 

Donald Anspaugh watched the man shudder on the bed and turned away, staring at a blank spot on the wall. "David? Are you awake?" His patient nodded slowly, his eyes still closed. "I.. I'm afraid.. You may have lost use of your legs.. I just wanted to prepare you.. We tested in recovery after the surgery.. I'm sure the swelling isn't permanent.. A hematoma formed during surgery... We had to tie it off, David.." 

"You paralyzed me!?" Dave yelped, staring down at his legs. He hadn't noticed it.. He'd woken up drugged.. He just figured it was the drugs.. It was just the drugs.. It had to be.. He could walk. "Let me up.. Help me up. I can walk goddamnit!" 

"David.. I'd advise-" Donald started as he walked to Dave's side, wondering if he should run for help or just try to pin the man down himself. "You'll rip your sutures! Get back into bed now!" 

But his terse words were not needed as Dave lay back in bed, sweating and breathing heavily. His breaths came in short gasps as he attempted to not pass out from exertion. "M-muh... my.. my legs.. My legs don't work... My legs don't work.. How.. How can my legs not work!?" Dave stammered defeatedly. 

Donald swallowed hard, a knot in his throat, he looked away from his patient's obvious pain and stared at a blank spot on the wall. He knew the tears were there.. Making the man's eyes glassy and vacant.. Red-rimmed and aged. "I'm sure it's only temporary. Let's wait on it before we start over-reacting, Dr.Malucci.." He said softly. 

His head snapped up at the sudden darkening of the doorway. "Dr.Anspaugh.. His family's here.." Ginny said softly as she looked at the tear-stained cheeks of the younger doctor. 

"Your family's here David... Did you want me to send them in?" Don offered, pulling himself upwards out of the chair. "I'm sure they're very worried about you." 

"I'm sure they are.." Dave murmured.. "I don't want to see them right now though... Tell them... Tell them I'm sleeping." He sighed, his eye opening as he stared blankly at the ceiling. 

"Are you sure?" The surgeon looked out the doorway at the nurse who stood there expectantly. 

"Yeah.... I'm sure.. I.. I just want to be alone right now.." Dr.Dave whispered sadly, staring outside. The meds were making him drowsy as his eyelids drooped and closed. 

"Okay Dr.Malucci. I'll be back soon." His hand closed around the bandaged hands of the young resident.. Dave had defended himself.. He'd watched Paul stabbing him.. He'd watched the man's face and as tried to save himself and Lucy.. Don sighed as his hand gently tousled Malucci's hair. Anspaugh bit his lip and walked away from the gurney and outside to update Malucci's family on his condition. 

"Dr.Anspaugh?" 

"Yes, Dr.Malucci?" Don turned, standing in the doorway. 

"Thanks.." 

"You're welcome." 

***   


Dave lay in bed, half asleep. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw Paul lurking in the shadows. Being awake and in pain was better than being asleep and terrified, he finally acertained as he lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Slowly Dave attempted to sit up, beads of sweat on his brow as he dug his elbows into the mattress and dragged himself backwards on the bed into a sitting position. "Ungh....huuuhhhhhh.." He panted aloud as he heard somebody in the doorway.   


"I guess you found her." 

The young resident moved his gaze from his lifeless legs up to the deep chocolate worried hue of Carter's eyes. "Hey.. Yeah.. I.. I did.." Dave murmured back, sighing as he sat back in the pillows. "I.. Found her.. Not before Sobriki did.. Fuck..." Tears welled up in the man's eyes and he blinked them away. 

"She's okay, Dave.. Elizabeth and Romano are working on her right now.." Carter said as he walked into the room, pulling up the highly uncomfortable chair that Anspaugh had been seated in a few hours earlier. 

"She is?! She's going to make it??" Dave said worriedly. 

Carter stared at the pale, sweaty bandaged doctor. Should he explain the full extent of Lucy's injuries and how serious they are? Or should he leave the man in the dark with the hope that Benton or Anspaugh would fill him in? "I don't know Dave.." He replied honestly. "She still in surgery." 

Dave stared at the man, his expression somber. "Is she going to die?" Carter stood up and sighed, shaking his head. 

"CHRIST! I don't know!" He yelled frantically. "I don't know anything! I just came up here to see if you were okay! I don't know anything about Lucy.. I know as much as you do, Dave.." 

*** 

"Robert.. I think she's thrown another clot.. Her rhythm's off.." Elizabeth murmured, glancing at the monitor. 

"Run some heparin, Shirley.." Romano grunted as he tied off the spleen. Dammit.. He hated when Elizabeth insisted on showing off. He could have saved her spleen.. He was just doing it to please her.. It had no bearing on his surgical skills. 

"I've already given her some, Dr.Romano." Shirley replied. "I can't give her anymore." 

"Dammit Shirley.. Who's the doctor here!?" He glared at her, slamming the instruments down on the tray and advancing on the IV pole. "If you won't do it, then I will!" 

"Robert!!" Elizabeth said worriedly. "Please.." 

He sighed heavily, turning back to his suturing. "I mean it, Shirley. I didn't ask if you were giving her heparin already, I was telling you to give her more." 

"Robert... I don't think that's wise.. We *did* just get her bleeding under control." Elizabeth said, coming to Shirley's defense. 

Lucy's monitors blared and the surgeons glanced fearfully at the readouts. "She's thrown a clot! I'm telling you.. She's going to stroke out..." Elizabeth squawked tearfully. 

"V-tach.. Dammit Robert! Please... I'm telling you.. We should have put in a Gree-" 

"SHUT UP! Shut up and hand me the paddles." Romano scowled at her as Shirley handed him the internal paddles. "Charge to 20.. Clear.." 

The two women backed away from the gurney and stared at the monitor for a glimmer of hope. 

***   



	10. Courage: 10

cour10.html *** 

"Man... Can you find out for me though?? I.. I saw her laying there.. I.. I tried to go for help.. He.." Dave closed his eyes, shuddering as he relived the memories. "He.. He dragged me.. b-back in... Gutted me.." His hand travelled down his gown a finger grazing the fabric over his heavily bandaged abdomen. 

Carter swallowed.. Man.. "I.. I know, Dave. We saw the marks.. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry we didn't hear anything." 

"S'okay.." Dave murmured sleepily.. "Jus' find out for me kay?"   


***** 

"We got a weak rhythm, ladies.. Applaud for the Rocket.." Romano replied dryly as he slammed down the paddles. 

"How.. How long was she down for?" Elizabeth stared sadly at the clock. 

"Not long..." He replied, picking up his intruments again. 

"ROBERT!!!" Everyone jumped in fright as Lucy's small body thrummed on the gurney as if electrified. "She's seizing!! 30 of Ativan.." Romano barked as Shirley inserted it into the IV line. 

*** 

"It's not your fault, Carter.. I mean.. You didn't throw the party did you?? You didn't bring those awful heart shaped spinach things.. You didn't send Lucy into the arms of a killer. You did okay.. You're free and clear.." Dave muttered. 

"Helouise made those spinach puffs.. I like them.." Carter muttered in response, staring at a tube that ran from Dave, draining one of his many wounds. 

"Who in the hell is Helouise?" Dave cocked a brow, the taste of spinach still burning his tongue. He HATED spinach. 

"Helouise is my Gamma's maid.. She heard we were having a little staff party and made spinach puffs and pigs in a blanket." 

"Pigs in a blanket!? I didn't get any damn pigs in blanket! All I got were those damn spinach things!" Dave grumbled, momentarily forgetting about his present condition. "I mean.. I come down after a little breather and I miss Pigs in a blanket.." He started to tremble, a line of drool, ran down his chin as he turned a violent shade of green and vomited all over his blanket.. "I.. I miss good food.. I miss good food.. and I killed Lucy.." 

"Dave.. I.." 

**** 

"She's stopped seizing.." Elizabeth murmured, rolling back one of Lucy's eye lids. "Pupils sluggish.. Reactive to light.. I guess.." She sighed. 

"Let's close her up and hope she gets better in recovery.." Romano sighed. 

"Better than brain damaged, Robert?" Elizabeth cocked a brow, shaking her head sadly. 

"That's better than dead isn't it?" Her superior glared at her and returned to his sutures. 

"I don't know... Is it?" 

&&&&&&&

"I'll find her for you, Dave. Don't worry." Carter smiled uneasily and squirmed in his chair. 

"Thanks man.. I really appre-" Dave's tired whisper was cut short by the beeper on Carter's belt. 

"Sorry Dave." Carter murmured as he unclipped the pager and stared at it, throwing worried glances at the expectant Dave. 'It's the ER.. I'll be back though... I promise." 

"Go ahead Carter... I'll be okay. I'm a little tired anyway." 

Carter nodded. "Okay.. I'll be back though." 

"Will you just get out of here already? You're creeping me out with all the pacing." Dave grumbled goodnaturedly.   


"Sorry.. It's just..." 

"Lucy.. I know.. and if I wasn't stuck in bed.. I'd pace too.. I.. Anspaugh.. He told me.. There's a good chance.." Dave sighed. "They had a hematoma they had to tie off.. I can't feel anything below my waist.. I mean.. I guess I'm grateful that I'm not dead. I should be grateful for that.. I should be grateful, right?" Dave said, his voice strained and full of fear. 

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm sorry I did this. I'm sorry I sent you after her. I'm sorry I was so hard on you about Lucy." Carter groaned angrily as his pager went off, ripping it from his belt and throwing it against the wall. 

Dave winced, expecting it to obliterate into a million pieces, but it bounced harmlessly off the wall and clattered to the floor. It had finally stopped beeping. 

"It's my fault Carter. Not yours. I should have listened to her. I should have stayed put and not fought back. If I'd done that.. I might not have crippled myself. It's my fault." He sighed. "I. If I'd listened to her.. If I'd listened to that maniac when he told me not to move.. I'd be eating a cheese burger instead of getting my four square meals from a tube in my stomach. I didn't listen when it was most important.. That's my own fault.. Not yours." 

******* 

Kerry Weaver had been heading to see Malucci after running into Don Anspaugh on her journey to track down Carter. Now Malucci had become a more important task. Anspaugh had been quite frank with her about the young colleague's condition and as she stood outside and listened to the conversation between the two men, Kerry realized that he'd used that same frankness with Dave. She crept into the room and stood watching before she coughed slightly and let herself be known.   
"Carter.. I've been paging you downstairs.. Do you make it a habit of ignoring your pages?" She eyed the pager on the floor and walked across the room, stooping to pick it up. 

"No... I.. I wasn't ignoring the pages.." Carter stammered uneasily. 

Kerry nodded. "Okay then. As long as you weren't ignoring them. The post-op scans are back on your patient. The cast-iron stomach. I was right.. My watch doesn't keep time anymore." 

She walked to Dave as she started to fish around in her pocket. "I believe these are yours." Kerr smiled warmly, wrapping his bandaged fingers around the rings. 

Dave smiled tiredly in return, staring at his hand. "My rings!" He whispered in soft disbelief. "Where were they?" 

Carter reddened "Inside my patient.. He.. uh.. swallowed them." 

Dave grinned, fingering the rings. "Oh.. I.. I was looking for them. Figured I'd lost them.. Like in the bathroom or something.." 

"I guess you could have left them in the bathroom.. Carter's patient was a bit of a wanderer.." - Just like Sobriki.. Kerry thought to herself, shuddering slightly as she smiled for Dave. "He should have been restrained." - SOBRIKI!!!! Her thoughts screamed. "But your rings seem okay.. A little tarnished.. But no worse for wear." - He was split open like a melon.. 

"Chief?" Carter and Dave looked at her worried and Kerry looked up from the floor, smiling weakly. 

"Carter. The police want you to make a statment.." Her voice caught. "Go.... Please.." 

Carter bit his lip, with a small nod, he left the room. 

***** 

"Chief...." Dave's pallor had worsened and he slipped the 02 mask over his face. 

"She's in a coma Dave.." Kerry bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. Her lip quivered and she bit harder, welling blood in her mouth as the tears burned her eyes. 

"How bad.. How bad is it?" He murmured, his throat tightening as he swallowed. 

"She.. She's stroked out.. There was a clot they didn't catch in time. She's... Gone.. Brain-dead.." Kerry blinked, letting the tears fall as she turned her head away. "They're keeping her on support till her family gets here." She said sadly as she pulled up a chair to rest her leg. 

"Can I see her?" Dave said hopefully. 

"Dave.. I don't th-" She protested. 

"You'll have to move me anyway.. Take me by there.." He said, his words thick and sluggish with the drugs dripping from the pole. 

"Dave.. I-" 

"Please.. Chief.. I.. I have to see her.. I have to say goodbye.. I have to say I'm sorry.." Dave shuddered, closing his eyes. The only noise in the room was the quiet hush of the oxygen tank and the beeping of the machines that surrounded him like a mechanical fanclub. 

*****   



	11. Courage: 11

cour11.html ***** 

"Remember? Last October.. Dave was sleeping off a hangover in an exam room and.." Chen laughed sadly, wiping away a tear. "I don't think I've ever seen 'Dusty Rose' lipstick and 'Seabreeze' eyeshadow work so well with olive tones.. It was quite.." She snickered and slipped her coffee. 

"You painted him with make-up? I don't remember that.." Luka murmured. 

"Well I think he was more upset about the false eyelashes.. You were... Uhh.. 'Off'." Lydia sighed and pulled herself from the booth to get more coffee. 

Luka nodded. 'off.' Kerry had fired him.. He swallowed and changed the subject. "Just regular old false eyelashes?" Luka sipped his tea, and stirred it with his finger. 

"Well.. yes... and no... They were regular lashes that we stuck on with fabric glue..." Chen smiled slightly. 

"He must have just gone-" Luka shook his head in disbelief. 

"Nuts... Yeah.. He did... When he finally found out.." Haleh smiled. 

"You told him?" 

"Hell no.. A patient told him." Lydia chuckled softly as she placed the hot mugs of coffee on the table. 

"A patient?" 

"Yeah.. This kid with a skinned knee.. Malucci was supposed to stitch him up.. He wouldn't let the 'scary ugly lady' within two feet of him.. Finally Malucci got so pissed off he stormed off into the bathroom..." Chuni trailed off with a grin. 

"And found himself part of Dame Edna's worst nightmare?" Abby laughed softly and nuzzled into Luka. "Did it come off?? The makeup?" 

Haleh nodded. "Yes.. It did.. The lashes didn't though.. He went around the rest of his shift looking like a reject from 'Bambi: The musical.'.." She smiled and looked up as Andrew joined them. 

"Anyone remember that time Malucci and Lucy cornered that kid? Dave had caught him red-handed trying to steal his bike.. I'm not exactly sure what went on in that trauma room.. But what ever happened.. It scared that kid stiff.." Luka laughed quietly and sighed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"HEY!!!!!!!!! You little!" Dave stood in the doorway of the ambulance bay to see a boy about twelve, kneeled beside his bike and jimmying the lock.. Before Dave could get any closer, he leaned forward on his heel, hopped on the bike and made a break for it. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!" The resident had screamed angrily, running out into the parking lot as his only mode of transportation slowly disappeared in the distance. 

"Dave!" Lucy stood in the doorway and watched him run frantically out onto the street and narrowly miss getting clipped by a truck. 

"That little bastard stole my bike!" The man grumbled, turning around and stomping back into the ER. 

"I'm sure we can get it back Dave.." She said helpfully. "He can't have gone that far with it." 

*** 

The two sat in the lounge sipping cold coffee as Dave plotted his revenge. "I swear.. When I get my hands on that ki-" 

The lounge door swung open and Kerry stuck her head in. "Mini-van versus kid on a bike.. ETA's... NOW... So get your asses in gear.." 

She slid the door closed and stomped off to the trauma room. 

"LEMME GO! LEMME GO!" The brat screamed, squirming on the table as Dave and Lucy entered. 

"THAT'S HIM! That's the little asshole who stole my bike!" Dave yelped. 

"Fuck you mister!" The kid glared at him, splatting a fairly large loogie on Dave's scrubs as he squirmed in the grasp of Luka and Malik. 

"The kid's fine.." Shep muttered. "It's the guy he rode out in front of that ran into a telephone pole to avoid him that you gotta worry about... Doris is bringing him in on the next rig.." 

"What in the hell did you bring him in for then!!?" Kerry glared at the paramedic. 

"The brat was screaming bloody murder.. I figured he was hurt.. Then he tried to hijack the damn rig.. I wanted to get him here so I could beat the living shit out of him and then you could patch him up, you know.. nice like..." Shep glared at the kid. 

"If he's okay then, can I have a talk with him for a second, Chief?" Dave cocked a brow at Evil Beaver Cleaver and smiled at Weaver. 

"Of course Malucci.. You'll be civil?" She raised her eyebrows and clucked her tongue. 

"Of course.. Civil is my middle name... Isn't that a cat or something?" 

"That's Civet..." She murmured, leaving the trauma room. 

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight... Gotcha.." Dave smiled as the doors swung closed leaving him alone with the bike thief.. 

"Now... Kid... I'd like to have a little chat with you..." Dave's voice lowered and he looked sideways as Lucy entered. 

** 

"Okay Dr.Malucci.. I'll see you next week.. You sure it'll be okay with my Mom.. Cleaning your apartment?" The kid slipped off the gurney, favouring his right ankle. 

"I'm sure it's fine, Gordie.. Lucy phoned her.. She's well aware of the situation. She wanted to ground you until you reached pension age.. But I think my arrangement is much better... Don't you?" Dave smiled solemnly. 

"Yes sir.." He said meekly before wincing as he tried to walk from the room. 

"Commere squirt, sit up on the gurney again.. I want to take a look at that ankle.." Dave grinned evilly. "Do you want to see something cool?" 

Gordie smiled nervously as he hopped back up onto the gurney and Dave pulled over a stool. "What is it?" 

"Pictures of another doctor here... Dr.Greene... I don't know WHY he was trampolining in spandex and Saran Wrap.. But I kept them for blackmail purposes..." Dave murmured nefariously. 

"Blackmail?" 

"It's bad... Here..." The doctor rifled through the bottom drawer of the cabinet and pulled it out from underneath the drawer. 

"Oh.. Oh crap... Holy cow!" The colour dropped from the young boy's face as he turned the pictures.. His eyes as round as saucers, his lip quivered in fear. "That.. That's disgusting... You... You can see his... Yuck!" 

Dave grinned. "Try to steal my bike again kid and I'll show you the black mail photos I found for a Dr.Romano.. You DON'T want to see those... Trust me.." 

~~~~~~~~ 

"I was told I could find a Dr.Romano or a Dr.Corday here?" The woman tugged nervously on a blonde curl, her long lashes blinked back tears from her red-rimmed eyes. Her voice was soft and wavered as she struggled to keep her composure. 

Carter focused on his chart. His hand clenched around his pen and his eyes narrowed. It had been like this for the past few hours.. One little bus crash and he had all of Chicago's worried mothers on his doorstep. It didn't help that no matter what he said he couldn't convince the mommies of the hooky playing bastards who hadn't BEEN on the bus that their kids were fine.. All the kids were fine.. The mother of three who had been in the mini-van was not, she was up in the morgue.. Her eleven-month old daughter in the PICU... The stupid kids on the bus were FINE! Why couldn't people just leave him alone? 

"Dr.Corday and Dr.Romano are surgeons.." He mumbled, not looking up from his paperwork. "You can probably find them upstairs on the surgical floor." 

"I.. I was told they could be paged... I.. My daughter... There was an accident.. I was told there was an accident. She said if Dr.Romano and Dr.Corday couldn't be paged.. To page her..." The woman shuffled her feet and left a wet puddle of snow beneath her. 

"Who is sh-??" Carter let his pen slip from his fingers and bounce across the desk as he looked up at the woman. Those eyes. Fierce, blue... and sad... These eyes were sad. She wasn't old.. Forty or so, at the most. Those eyes... 

"Dr.Weaver.. Dr.Kerry Weaver." The woman's voice wavered again. 

"I'll page them Ms.Knight." Randi murmured softly from behind Carter, startling him and causing the young doctor to clutch his chest in fright. She glared at Carter, snapping up the phone and dialling the pager numbers with a deft, quick ease that was unknown for three-inch long nails in 'Melon-tastic'. "I'm sure they'll be down in a minute. If you'd like.. I could make a fresh pot of coffee and you could wait in the lounge." 

Ms.Knight smiled weakly and nodded, following the clerk to the lounge. Once she was settled in, Randi stormed from the room, stomped up to the desk and clipped Carter in the back of the head. "ASSHOLE!" She hissed tearfully. 

"OW!" Carter yelped, turning around and glaring at her. "What did you do that for!?" 

"Because you're a prick. Do you know who that was?! That was Lucy's Mom! That woman..." Randi's eyes narrowed as she snatched a mug off the counter. 

"I didn't do anything!" He protested, rubbing the back of his head. 

"YOU! You were awful to her! What gives you the right to do that!? To do that to somebody who just found out their daughter was-" 

She broke off and looked up to see Ms.Knight standing in the doorway of the lounge. She smiled and waved the cup in her direction.. "I'll be right there, Barbara.. I just needed to find a clean mug!" Randi called cheerily to the woman. 

Barbara Knight smiled gratefully and walked back into the lounge, shutting the door. 

"Look... The woman just lost her only daughter.. and you were going to send her on a wild goose chase.. You really are a prick, Carter.." Randi clenched her fists, considering punching the man in the nose... But she couldn't... Her parole.. She couldn't violate her parole.. She instead took his mug and walked back into the lounge. 

Carter stared at the closed door and sighed heavily. 

"Dr.Carter... You paged us?" Romano slammed his palm down on the counter and Carter turned dazedly and looked at the man. 

"No... I mean.. Yes. Yeah.. She's in the lounge.. She's in the lounge with Randi.." Carter said distractedly. 

"Who?" 

"Ms.Knight... Barbara Knight.. Lucy's Mom.. She's in the lounge.." 

The two surgeons looked at each other, nodded slightly and walked past the desk. 

"Dr.Corday?" 

Elizabeth turned, looking at Carter. "Yes?" 

"Is she?" He sighed shaking his head in disbelief and running a hand through his hair. 

"Yes, Carter... She is.. Now I have to explain to her mother... How.. and why..." 

****** 

Abby chuckled breathlessly, wiping away a tear of laughter. "Lucy REALLY did a rectal and enema on a circus clown?" 

Chen grinned. "Yeah! You should have seen Malucci's face when he walked in the exam room. It was priceless." 

**   



	12. Courage: 12

cour12.html ** 

Mark Greene stripped off his gloves and threw them into the bin as he walked down the corridor and past the admit desk. "They're all next door?" 

Randi nodded tearfully. "Yuh huh.." 

"Romano and Corday are in the lounge with.." He trailed off and paused at the desk. 

"Yuh huh.." She mumbled faintly, staring at the paperwork in front of her. 

Mark nodded with a pained smile. "Okay. Thanks Randi.." He looked down at his watch. "You were off hours ago.. Go home... Get some sleep. It's been a rough night." 

She nodded sadly and ducked under the counter, grabbing her coat and purse. "Thanks Dr.Greene." 

"Did you want a drive home?" He asked worriedly. 

"No.. That's okay. I'll take the El.. I don't live far." 

Mark nodded and hurried out the door. As he strode across the street, he stopped looking back at the windows of the various hospital rooms. One of those rooms contained a good doctor and one of those rooms contained a good medstudent. Both of whom had something brutal and senseless happen only hours ago. One would live, one would die. It was something made even worse by the fact that Sobriki was sitting in another room, strapped to a bed and drugged to the gills. He was going to get away with it. He had laid in wait for them, he had essentially planned it, but because he was a few CC's short of a full dose.. Mark sighed angrily and turned away from the hospital as Corday and Romano lead the stunned mother from the lounge and to the lift. 

"Are you sure? I mean... When I see her.." Barbara Knight broke off into muffled sobs behind her shaking hands. 

"The machines are keeping your daughter's body alive, Barbara.." Romano said truthfully. "I was hoping we could discuss organ donation.." 

Elizabeth glared at him as the mother stopped short and looked at Romano. "I.. You mean.. Cut her open again? Cut her open and take pieces of her??!!" Ms.Knight shook her head as a tear escaped from her closed eyes and slipped down her cheek. "I.. I don't know.. I mean.. I.. Lucy.. She would have wanted that. She would have wanted to help." 

"It's okay.. We can discuss that later.." Elizabeth murmured comfortingly as the woman leaned into her for support. As they neared the room they could hear the blips and beeps of machines. Of the machines that were keeping the blood flowing and the organs pulsing inside Lucy's shell. 

She lay on the bed, a clean gown covered her small frame, her hands at her sides, her fingers cupped slightly around the pulse-ox monitor on her finger. The ventilator hushed and clicked as it fluttered like a wounded moth. Tubes like translucent caterpillars travelled from the trach tube and to the machines. Wires peeked and crawled from every opening in the gown, covering her like veins. Barbara choked back a sob at the sight of her daughter. "W-ho.. Who did this to her? I.. I want to speak to them." The woman stiffened in Elizabeth's comforting arm and her voice was filled with pain and anger. "I.. I want to see them.. I want to see the person.. I want to see who could d-do such.. such a.. thing.." 

"Ms.Knight.. I don't think that's a good idea right now." Corday said hurriedly, leading her to a chair beside the bed. 

"Would you like some time alone with her?" She whispered softly, her hand leaving the woman's shoulders as Barbara sat down. 

"Yes please." Barbara whispered, staring at Lucy. 

The two surgeons exited as the mother collapsed in tears on her daughter's body. "Please... Please Lucy.. Please.. Goosey.. Please.. Wake up for me.." She sobbed quietly, wrapping her arms around her daughter. 

"She won't you know.. She won't wake up.. She can't hear you.." 

The voice startled her and she looked up sharply for the speaker. "Who's there?!" 

"I was a friend... Just a friend.." They murmured softly, the voice drifting around the room. 

"W-where are you? Wh-" Barbara pushed herself off Lucy and stumbled to the end of the bed, whipping away the curtains. 

"She's gone.. I know that now.. I.. I couldn't save her.." He whispered, pale and laying back on the bed. His breathing was laboured and assisted by a mask. Dark rings under his eyes, glistened a deep purplish hue.. "It's my fault.." Dave murmured, closing his brown eyes, full of pain and sorrow. 

"Wh-o?" Barbara stood at the bedside of the man who had shared those hours beside her daughter as they'd both slowly bled to death. 

"By all odds.. I should have died... Not her.. If she hadn't-" Dave broke off in a coughing fit, lurching forward as the startled mother handed him a kleenex. 

"You're the other doctor.." She finally surmised. "I'm sorry.. I didn't know.." 

He shook head slightly, rolling it back on the pillow. "No... Not your fault.. All us patients look the same.. Even the ones who happen to be doctors.." 

***** 

"How come I have to? I mean.. I'm not even ICU staff.." Weaver murmured as the two surgeons brought up the rear. 

"You.. Carter.. Dave.. You should be there.. You'll regret it later if you aren't, Kerry." Romano said softly. 

"But I have to pull the plug on one of my medstudents?!" Kerry cried out as if in pain as they trudged down the corridor. "That hardly seems fair. I'm too.. I'm too..." She shook her head as she struggled for the word in her grief addled brain.. "Close.. too close to it.. One of the ICU staff should.. It's their job.. I can't.. I shouldn't." 

** 

Mark entered the restaurant. It felt like any other time.. The cold air rushing in the doors and the heat rushing out, as the door flung open. The airy tinkle of the bell over the doorway. It was like any other time. The soft laughter hurt his ears as he walked to the booth, standing beside them and casting a dark shadow over the table. 

"Mark? Mark what's wrong?" 

*** 

Kerry entered the room to find Barbara's chair empty and the air filled with the muffled words that floated from behind the curtained bed in the corner. "Malucci?" She called out worriedly. 

"Over here Chief.." He called out in return, turning his attention back to Barbara. "So... Then.. After Chuni had seen Carter and Lucy all over each other.." 

Kerry passed Lucy's bed, glancing at her worriedly as if expecting the medstudent to leap out of bed and shout. "SURPRISE! FEBRUARY FOOLS!" Instead Lucy lay there, tape covering her eyelids to give the illusion of her sleeping. Without the tape... Lucy's dead eyes staring at them all as they pulled the plug. She shuddered painfully and pulled back the curtain around Dave's bed. 

"Dave? Ms.Knight? It's time.." 

**** 

"I don't know why you felt you had to do that right now. We had just told the woman that her daughter was dead and you hit her with something like that! You saw the mess in the operating room. I sincerely doubt we could salvage any viable organs anyway. Why burden her with anything else to deal with?" Elizabeth sighed, pushing away from the table, and glaring at Romano who had seated himself across from her as he sipped his coffee. 

"So maybe she's not a heart donor, or a spleen donor or a..." Romano trailed off with a bitter smile. "It doesn't matter, Lucy would have wanted us to try." 

"Try? All you've done is manipulate the emotions of a very upset mother. There is no way in hell that Lucy could ever really donate and you bloody well know that. I've got to go Robert.." Elizabeth stood, walking to the wastebin and dumping her coffee before stomping from the cafeteria. 

*** 

"You mean? Oh Mark!" Lydia's eyes filled with tears. 

"They're doing it now?? Pulling the plug?" Luka sighed and ran a shaky hand through his dark greasy mop. 

Mark glanced at his watch. "Kerry said that it'd be after they'd told Lucy's mother.. and she's been here for awhile now.. They've told her by now I'm sure of it." 

** 

"N-No! You can't!" Barbara's voice cracked as she burst into tears. "Get away.. Get away from her..." Her hands pushed at the bodies surrounding her daughter, surrounding the bed. It was the code team.. But this time.. "You can't kill her! She's in a coma.. You said she was in a coma.. People wake up from comas! You can't do this!" 

"Mrs.Knight.. She won't wake up.. It isn't the sort of coma you wake up from." The nurse comforted softly, before turning her attention on the woman who hid in the shadows near Dave's bed. "Please. We need to do our jobs.. Dr.Weaver.. If you'd come over here, please.." 

"You kill people for a living!? How heartless and cruel are you!!??" The mother sobbed pulling at the doctors and technicians surrounding Lucy's body. 

"Ms.Knight.." Kerry pleaded softly as she watched her struggle with a rather large ICU doctor. 

"Barbara!" Dave said hoarsely, the woman stopping suddenly, as she'd started to lunge at a nurse. "Please... Lucy wouldn't want this.. Just.. Let her go... Let Lucy go." He closed his eyes, leaning back in the bed, catching his breath. 

"Dave you shouldn't be working yourself up like this. Bonnie maybe it's time we moved him upstairs now." Kerry said worriedly as she glanced between Ms.Knight and Dave's nurse. 

"No.. I.. I wanted to stay.. I want to stay with Lucy.. P-please.." Dave groaned softly as something was inserted into his IV and he fell asleep. 

Barbara walked to the bed, distracted by Dave as Kerry disconnected the life-support. 

**   



	13. Courage: 13

cour13.html ** 

"Dave? Dr.Malucci?? Your PT appointment is here.. Dr.Malucci?" 

Dave opened his eyes groggily to find Anspaugh, Benton and a doctor he didn't recognize, standing over his bed. "What's up?" 

"We'd like to test your range of motion and whether you've gained sensation yet." The strange doctor announced, nearing the bed. 

Anspaugh and Benton nodded. "We just want to know how you're doing." Don turned, looking at the door as a gaggle of med-students entered with their notebooks. 

"Who in the hell are they? Where in the hell am I?" Dave yelled angrily as he tried to pull himself up in bed. 

"You're at County General. There was an accident.. Those are my med-students.. They are observing us as we assess you." The PT doctor smiled phonily as Benton and Anspaugh rolled their eyes. 

"I know where I am, you arrogant moron! I want to know what they are doing here!? Don't want medstudents gawking at me." Dave growled. 

"Doctor... Surely you can appreciate that this IS a teaching hospital..   
You're a patient here.. and a viable teaching case. I'm sure you went on rounds as a med-student." The doctor clasped his hands together and looked at his colleagues for support. 

"I want them out, Dr.Pete. I want them to go. I want them to leave. Make them leave." Dave pleaded tiredly. 

Benton nodded to the door. "Go O'Connor. Take the medstudents with you." 

"But.." 

"We don't need you for this. You can go." Anspaugh said softly. He didn't want Malucci any more worked up and upset than he needed to be. 

Dr.O'Connor stomped from the room, trailing medstudents behind him like a mother duck and babies. 

"Okay Dave..." Anspaugh murmured as he rolled up the blankets at the foot of the bed and revealed Dave's feet. 

"You ready Dr.Malucci?" He said as his palm pressed up against Dave's foot. "Push against my hand when I say go." 

*** 

"She was admitted for shock? Poor woman." Chen murmured sadly as she watched Carter strap himself into his new rollerblades in the lounge. "You're going to split your head open with those things, John.." 

"Nuh-uh. I have protection." He mumbled as he pulled on the helmet and rapped on it with his knuckles. 

"Oh yeah Carter.. Very stylish.. Hip, cool and slammin'... Very 'you'." Chen laughed. 

"Oh yes.. Just you wait woman.. I'll skate circles around you." Carter chuckled and sighed. "Yeah.. Ms.Knight was admitted for shock.. I mean.. I feel horrible. I didn't know who she was. I was so rude to her and Randi just came up and saved the day." He sighed pitifully and slipped on the elbow pads. 

"She knew though John.. She knew it was Lucy's Mom.. You don't have to feel bad." Deb sighed and patted her friend on the back. 

"Yeah! But how!? Am I blind? How come I didn't clue in? Am I that stupid?!" 

"Stupid? Carter.. No.." 

"Deb.. I should go apologize.." Carter said, scrambling to get up and then grabbing onto the armrest to stay up-right. "How could she have known?? Is she psychic or something??" 

"Pictures.. Photos of Lucy's trip to SF last summer with her mom. Her mom was in every shot, John.. Lucy was showing them at the desk.. That's how she knew.. You're not stupid Carter.." 

Carter shook his head disgustedly. "Yeah.. Well.. I'm gonna go try these out.. I'll see you later.." He grumbled sadly, flailing his arms as he rolled out the doors. 

*** 

"Did it hurt?" Ms.Knight wiped away a tear.. "Did it hurt when y-" She sighed, blowing her nose. "Did it hurt when you fell?" 

Carter sat at her bedside, his leg encased in slowly drying plaster, his newfound rollerblades donated to Malik who was currently wheeling figure-eights around the ER. "No.. Not really.. I've got a high pain-threshold I guess.." He murmured. 

** 

He sat dejectedly on the toilet as Yosh rolled his eyes. "Carter.. I told you rollerblades weren't a good idea." 

"I.. I had to tell that woman.. I had to tell her it didn't hurt.. I had to tell her that falling down 4 flights of concrete steps at the park and breaking your leg in two places didn't hurt! Am I nuts?" Carter sighed, rubbing his hand through his hair. 

"No.. you just wanted to spare her the pain.. She's going through enough right now. It'll be alright.." He murmured softly, zipping up and walking to the sink. 

"No.. No it won't.. Lucy's dead.. Dave's in ICU and I forgot my crutches beside the hand dryer. I've fallen and can't get up!" Carter sobbed. 

**** 

"I.. I can't do this.. I.. I think I'll go.." Dave winced as he grabbed onto the handholds of his wheelchair and attempted to wheel away. 

"Malucci... You should stay. Ms.Knight would want you to stay.. She would want you to be here.." Kerry murmured, catching onto one of the handles and holding the chair still. 

"I.. I can't Chief.. I can't do this.. I can't sit here and have everyone staring.. Staring at me.. Feeling sorry for me. Feeling mad at me for living while Lucy died.. I can't do this right now. I can't handle this!" Dave trembled and dropped his head into his hands. 

"You can and you will Malucci.. Stay. I will sit with you." She sighed, awkwardly wheeling the chair to the front of the pews and sitting beside him. "We'll both get through this Malucci.." 

"I want to go back to the hospital.. Please, Chief.." Dave looked away from Kerry, from the casket and burst into tears. 

"Ohhhh.. Oh Dave.. Oh.. Okay Dave.. Okay.. We'll go.. I'll take you back.. It's going to be okay, Malucci.. It's going to be okay.." Kerry whispered hoarsely, her hand moving protectively to his back and rubbing it comfortingly. "It's going to be okay.." She looked over at Deb and nodded. 

"Time to go back, Dave?" Chen said concerned. 

Dave nodded mutely and hung his head, as she stood and pushed the chair down the aisle and past Barbara. She grasped his hand, stopping the chair. 

"T-thank you for coming, Dave.. I really app..." She sniffled and blew her nose. "I appreciated that you came.. I'll never forget this.." Barbara looked up at Kerry and Chen. "Can I speak to him alone for a moment?" 

Dave nodded to his friends, his eyes glassy and red with tears. "It's okay guys.." 

"You sure Dave? I thought you wanted-" Chen replied softly, but Dave's hoarse whisper cut her off. 

"It's okay.. Just a second.. I'll meet you back at the car." He waved them off as Barbara pushed the chair into the kitchenette and closed the door. 

"What's u-" The chair tilted backwards with the sudden forceful jolt of Barbara leaping on Dave, her hands closing and tightening around his neck and throttling him. 

"N-no.. p-ple-" He gasped as the chair flipped, landing the two on the ground and rolling on the cold tile flooring. The lack of oxygen hazed his senses as the crazed mother beat his head repeatedly against the ground. 

"You killed her! You bastard! You killed my baby! You left her with a maniac! You killed my little girl!" Barbara screamed at him, her voice cracking as her hot tears hit him in the face, blinding him. "You k-" 

***** 

Dave startled himself awake with a guttural anguished scream. 

He sat forward, his head in his hands as he started to weep and gasp for breath. Everything ached. Everything hurt. Everything hurt sooo much... 

"Dave are you okay?" Ginny appeared at his bedside. 

He shook his head. "I.. I killed her.." Dave sniffled tearfully. "H-her.. Her mom hates me..." 

"Dave.. Honey... You had a nightmare. Everything is okay.. You want me to go get Cindy or your aunt?" Ginny looked outside at the worried faces of his family. 

"S-send in Cindy in." Dave murmured, laying back on the pillows and his breathing slightly winded. 

"Dave... Honey? Are you okay?" She walked into the room and melted with concern. "Awww.. Sweetie.." 

He closed his eyes as Cindy bent over the gurney and kissed him on the lips. "I wish I could get in there with you and make you feel better, Davey.." 

"I don't think there's any harm in laying beside me if you're careful." He smiled, gritting his teeth with the pain and patting a spot beside him on the blanket. 

Cindy laughed sadly and nodded, pulling down the rail and climbing in beside Dave. "I.. I'm really sorry I left that nasty message on your answering machine about Valentine's Day.. I.. If I'd known.. I never would have wished you dead.." She sniffled, wiping her eyes. 

Dave laughed nervously. "Ahh.. The message.. Yeah.. That was the most interesting out of all the 'get well soon's and 'oh my god!'s I had on my machine.. Certainly a keeper.." 

Cindy shook her head softly, her blonde hair shifting on the pillow and tickling his cheek. "No.. You're a keeper.. I missed you Dave.. I nearly killed that weird little bald guy.. He was making nasty remarks.. I almost punched him in the nose.." 

Dave smirked. "Almost right? I hope just almost... Cuz.. The guy's sort of Chief of Staff... Don't worry though.. Just about everyone wants to punch the guy in the nose.."   


"Good.. So it's not just me.." She laughed, nuzzling into his neck. 

"Nope.. Not just you.. Just about all of County wants his head on a stick.." He sighed, laying back in the pillows as she lazily tickled his forearm with her fingers. 

*** 

"Mark... Mark we have to talk.." Elizabeth sat in the booth across from her fiancee and sighed. "Mark.. Please..." 

He looked up from his coffee and shook his head. "She's dead.. What is there to talk about?" 

"Could you be sued.. Could she sue us? I mean.. It was negligence on our part.. Not closely supervising Malucci and Knight.. If we hadn't skipped out early to go to dinner.. Mark.. If we had stayed our full shift.. Malucci would be okay.." Elizabeth burst into tears. 

"Elizabeth... Listen to me.. Yes.. I kept Malucci on.. We were busy.. I had reason to. As for Lucy.. It's nobody's fault.." He pulled off his glasses, grasping an arm and chewing absently on the end. His hand went to temple as he winced. 

"But.. If we were so busy.. We shouldn't have left.. Mark... We killed her.." 

"Shhh! Elizabeth.. Don't... Don't put this on us. We didn't do anything wrong."   


TO BE CONTINUED........... 


	14. Courage: 14

cour14.html

"Dave... We need to get down to OT now... Marie-Louise will take you down.." Ginny murmured as she entered the room. 

"What's the point?? I mean.. I'm crippled.. What's the point of everyone smiling and patting me on the head?? I'm never going to walk again. My career is fucked.. I'm ruined.. All because I didn't.. Because I.." Dave trailed off and then jumped in fright as a vase flew past, inches from his head. 

"Now you listen to me David Jesus Malucci! You little ungrateful bastard! You might be paraplegic.. You might never regain use of your legs. Are you going to mope around and lay in bed because of possibilities? Because of maybes? You get out of that bed and get down to that damn room before I drag you out by your damn hair! You got me?!" Ginny's face reddened with anger looking at the vase of flowers that lay on the floor in pieces. 

Dave stared at her sullenly, his arms crossed and folded across his chest. Ginny glared at him and he sighed, pulling his useless legs over the side of the bed and used the rail and board to slide himself into the chair. 

"Now then, David. Are we going to be going to therapy now?" Ginny said kindly. 

"Yes please.." He murmured, slipping his hands into the handholds and wheeling the chair from the room. 

"Marie-Louise will be with you in a moment, I'll see you later David when I come to get you cleaned up. I know that the sessions leave you a little drained.. A nice bath will do you good.." Ginny called after him as the defeated man disappeared down the hall and past the nursing station where Marie-Louise exited from the desk and started pushing the chair. 

Ginny sighed and began stripping the bed, shaking her head sadly. 

*** 

"Mark. Do you think going to the memorial service was such a good idea? I mean did you see how that woman had looked at us?! It was such... contempt.. She knows we killed Lucy... She knows.." Elizabeth shuddered, curling up next to Mark on the couch and flipping the channels. 

"She was upset.. She just lost her only daughter. She has a right to be upset. Why did we go? I mean.. We placed flowers on that girl's grave. She's dead Bethie.. There's nothing we can do to change that.. It's not our fault.. You might think it is.. We can't go back and work that shift... We can't put Sobriki in restraints. We did what we could when we were there... Peter tried to fix Dave.. But Dave may never walk again.. You tried your best at saving Lucy.. But Sobriki had carved her up like an Easter ham... You couldn't do anything more than you had.. Both you and Peter tried your best.. It might not have been the outcome you two desired.. But at least it wasn't any worse... If both of them had died.. Or if that lunatic had gotten it into his head to interrupt the Valentine's party... We're lucky it didn't get any worse, Elizabeth.. Remember that.. The only one feeling guilty and laying blame on us about this is you, honey.. Barbara said nothing to either of us.." Mark sighed, and pulled himself up off the couch. "I'm gonna go get some milk, do you want anything?" 

"I need a cigarette... Player's regular.. no filters.." Elizabeth rolled off the couch into a sitting position and bent over with her face in her hands. 

"Elizabeth.. You don't smoke..." Mark said weakly. 

"Mark... I need a cigarette.. trust me.." She murmured sadly, leaving the couch and walking to the window and staring out at the falling snow. 

He shrugged grabbing his wallet and leaving for the Beckers. 

***** 

"Kerry? Are you okay?" Luka walked slowly down the snowy sidewalks and advanced on the ER Chief seated on the bench. "Dr.Weaver?" 

The snow fell in wet soft clumps and hit the freshly shovelled sidewalk with a muffled splat. He chuckled sadly. It didn't know whether to rain or snow.. So it did a little of both. "Dr.Weaver?? Are you okay?" His hand went slowly over his knee as he sat, it stiffened up in the weather, but that's what happens when your older brother dares you to jump off the roof with the bedsheet as a parachute. Pins holding your knee together. 

She looked up slowly and smiled as she acknowledged him. "Hello, Dr.Kovac.." Kerry glanced down at Luka's hand covering his knee. "Your leg bothering you in this damp weather?" 

Luka nodded. "Yes... In this weather it tends to stiffen up." 

Kerry sighed. "Yes.. I know how that goes.. Having the same troubles it seems.. Want to share a cab home?" She murmured as she saw her taxi pull up. 

"Would you mind? I mean I don't live far, but if you'd like the company.." He blushed slightly and stared down at his shoes. 

Kerry smiled biting her lip. "I'd be honoured if you escorted me home, Dr.Kovac.. Today hasn't exactly been a good day... I would like some company, that would be nice." 

Luka smiled nervously and helped Kerry into the cab. "No.. Today was hard.. For all of us.." 

The memorial service. Everyone standing around in the banquet hall staring into their watered down scotch and whiskeys. Everyone meandering around in circles nodding sadly to each other and trying to avoid everyone's eyes. Barbara stared at the wall, pumped full of sedatives so she wouldn't go screaming from the room. Her ex-husband at her side, holding her.. 

Carter had managed not to laugh bitterly out loud at the lousy irony.. Lucy's father.. The man she'd never met, sitting there at her memorial. Sitting there holding her mother in his arms as she trembled and held her head pressed close against his chest. His hand brushing over Barbara's long curled hair and murmuring soft, kind words. 

Lucy hadn't made it exactly clear what had happened between Lucy's father and her mother.. But for him to show up.. Carter hoped it was the drugs.. it was just the drugs that had made her senseless enough to be curled up in the arms of that man.   



	15. Courage: 15

cour18.html   
"Easy Dave.. Don't push yourself too hard. Don't tire yourself out. One foot after the other.. That's it.." The nurse urged as the doctor shuffled slowly with the walker. 

"DAVE!!!!!!" Cindy beamed as she saw the dishevelled, tired and worn out man stumbled down the hall. His house coat ties dragging on the ground and his housecoat flapping around his knobby knees that peeked out from under the hospital gown. 

She ran down the hall, grabbing him around the waist and hugging him closely, breathing in his smell, the smell of hospital, the smell of dank sweat from the exertion of walking a few steps from the therapy room. Tears rolled down her cheeks and soaked into the plush blue terry cloth of the robe. "Dave.. I love you.. God.. I love you so much.. I'm so proud of you." 

*** 

"Was it nice? The memorial?" Dave asked Elizabeth later in his room as she examined the healing of the incisions. 

"It was..." She paused, pulling her gloved hands out from under his gown. "Nice.. Lucy's father was there.. It certainly made it interesting." 

"Lucy's Dad? I thought.." He trailed off quietly, his mouth slightly agape from the shock. "I mean.. Lucy's Dad.. I didn't even think she had one.." 

"We all thought.. But he was there, Dave.. Holding Ms.Knight and weeping with the rest of us." Elizabeth replied, as she pulled down the bed clothes and took his hands in hers to examine the self-defence wounds on his arms. "These are healing quite well Dave.." She murmured, changing the subject." 

"I.. I can't believe this.. She's.. She's really gone.. I.." Tears shone and glinted sharply in his brown eyes from the fluorescent lights glowing overhead. His lip trembled and his body tensed. 

"Oh... uhh.. Dr.Malucci.. Dave.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." Elizabeth replied uneasily as her own tears began to flow, shattering her cool facade. She bent over the bed examining the wound to his left flank, trying to ignore the tears that flowed down both their cheeks. 

"Dave.. I.." She could feel his hot breath on her neck as she bent over him untying the string at the back of the gown.. Pulling it back to examine the wounds to his front more closely. She could feel the wetness of it as the young doctor suddenly pulled her into an awkward kiss. Elizabeth pulled back, biting her bottom lip and her own eyes red and full of surprise. She looked at the man laying on the bed, small, frail and reddening deeply. "Dr.Muh.. Dave.. I.. I have to go now.. I'll send in Dr.Benton.. Surely you won't share the same affection." 

Dave stared at the ceiling as Dr.Corday made her exit, stumbling from the room and knocking over an instrument tray in her wake. His lips still warm and tingling, his brain whirring and numb at the same time. He had just kissed the British Ice Queen.. He had kissed Dr.Elizabeth Corday.. He had kissed Elizabeth.. Maybe he really *was* losing his mind! He had just kissed the fiancee of Dr.Mark Greene.. Kissed the lips that he'd seen on so many occasions kiss Mark Greene.. His lips had been where Mark's had been.. 

Dave wrinkled his nose in disgust and wiped his mouth frantically, his tongue hanging out as he ran his hands over it quickly, wiping it on the bed. He gagged and groaned, his aching body dangling over the side of the bed as he started to dry retch. 

Dr.Carl De Raad walked in and stood in the door way watching Dave as he shook with the dry-heaves. "Is everything okay Dr.Malucci?" He asked concernedly as he approached the bed and sat in the warmed chair of Dr.Corday's. 

"I KISSED DR.GREENE!" Dave wailed, flopping back down on the bed and shuddering. 

"Pardon me?" You kissed Mark Greene?" The man pulled out his notepad. Mark was downstairs up to his armpits in a trauma case. The poor man was probably hallucinating.. The trauma he'd been through, the medications he was on.. The stress he was under.. It was probably quite normal.. But.. "How do you feel about that?? About kissing Dr.Greene??" He asked prodding his patient and chewing slightly on the pen in his mouth. 

Dave looked at the head of psych with a look of horror, disgust and pure utter pain. "I... WHAT?! I.. No.. I never.. What?! Eww. What!?" 

**** 

Elizabeth rushed down the halls, banging into various gurneys, fellow co-workers til she reached the ER and dragged her fiancee bodily out of Trauma 2. "ELIZABETH! I JUST HAD THAT MAN'S HEART IN MY HANDS!" 

"Screw him! Malucci.. He.." Elizabeth trembled, her face still red and sticky from the shed tears. 

"Oh god.. Is he okay!?" Mark walked to the bin and took off his gown and gloves, leading her to the lounge. She was trembling and looked like she was about to pass out. She'd better do it into a chair.. I don't want to carry her through the threshold till we're married.. Mark thought to himself. 

"He.. He's fine.. He's healing well.. He's m-making progress in therapy. I.. was checking his wounds.. Peter was on call somewhere else.. I.. I was doing him a favour.." Elizabeth's voice cracked and she burst into tears. 

A favour.. Oh I bet you were!! Mark seethed.. The bastard probably kissed her.. When he got his hands on him.. Oh.. Well.. If he'd got his hands on him.. He'd probably remove them pretty quick.. Peter was a pretty big man.. Street tough.. Raised in Chicago.. And he was trained in the use of a scalpel.. Mark sighed. and what could he do? Suture the poor guy to death!? "W-what happened?" He asked nervously. 

"M.. Malucci.. He..." She shook her head, pulling his comforting arms off her. "It's not important.. I.. I have to go to rounds on my other patients Mark.." Elizabeth stood, walking bewildered from the lounge.   
  
  
  



	16. Courage: 16

cour16.html **** 

"Elizabeth! Wait! Come back here! Elizabeth, please!" Mark ran from the lounge, after his fiancee, catching her arm. "Elizabeth!" He panted. "What happened?! What's wrong!?" 

Slowly she turned, tears marring her face. Elizabeth's face reddened, and flushed scarlet, her eyes puffy and bloodshot as she ran her hand under her nose as it began to run. As she choked back a sob, Mark lead her to a chair. "M-malucci.. He.. He kissed me."   


*** 

"Dr.Malucci. I think it's best that we discuss this, but if you're not ready.." DeRaad sighed, glancing up from his notepad and looking at his patient and over at the clock, ticking away on the wall. 

"I didn't kiss Dr.Greene... I told you.. I never kissed him.. Never laid lips on the guy. What I said.. I didn't mean it. " Dave replied shakily. DeRaad was writing an awful lot on that pad of his.. He stared at the thin blanket, covering his bed, and ran his thumb along the hem. 

"What do you mean Dave?" Carl said with a tinge of fear in his voice. Malucci wasn't going to kiss him was he? 

"I kissed Dr.Corday. I kissed Elizabeth.. I didn't kiss Mark Greene." 

*** 

"He kissed you!? I'll kill him.. I swear.. I'm going to kick that little Italian bastard's ass from here to Timbuctu." Mark seethed, his hands clenched. 

"Mark... I don't think that's a good idea.." 

*** 

Carter moped along the halls, his crutches dragging slightly with each feeble step. "I don't know what I was thinking, Deb. Doing that.. Did I really think I could replace Malucci? Buying a pair of Rollerblades? Did I really think that buying a $500 pair of rollerskates would make me feel less guilty?" 

They stopped outside exam three, Deb grasping his arm to steady him as she helped Carter into a chair against the wall. "Five-hundred dollars?!!!!" She sighed. "John.. Guilty for what? What did you do wrong!? It was an accident.. The man was nuts.." 

"I sent Dave looking for Lucy.. I sent him into that room. I nearly got him killed. I was so upset because of Lucy, because she'd come into the lounge all pissed off because Dave wouldn't let her help.. If I'd stayed out of it.. I was so angry at him.. Over nothing.. Over a case of beer versus a bottle of champagne for the spinal tap.. I got Lucy killed over a bottle of wine." 

*** 

"I really enjoyed dinner the other night, Kerry." Luka mumbled. 

"I did too, Dr.Kovac. Took our minds off more serious matters at hand. If even for awhile. Thank you for escorting me home." Kerry smiled as she walked into the lounge to put her coat away. 

"It was my pleasure. We should do it again sometime." He reddened, as he walked into the lounge, following her. "I mean.. Sharing a cab.. It saves money.." Luka smiled uneasily as she turned to face him and he hurried from the staff room. 

He grabbed a chart off the admit desk and leafed through it, watching as Kerry walked from the lounge and coolly brushed past him. "Of course, Dr.Kovac. Sounds like a plan to me." She replied smoothly as she picked up another chart and walked down the hall. 

*** 

"I've written him a drip of Haldol.. Keep him on it for awhile.. He was quite agitated." DeRaad murmured to Ginny as he scribbled the notations onto the chart. 

"You want to keep him sedated? You think that's a good idea, Dr.?" Ginny asked worriedly as she watched her Babyduck's chest rise and fall as he slept. 

"For now yes.. Let him sleep. I will be back later, to check his progress." The man muttered before slipping the chart into her hands and leaving. 

"Progress?" Ginny muttered angrily to herself as she stared sadly at Dave. "How can he make any damn progress if he's drugged?" 

*** 

"I don't care if he's crippled was stabbed only a few days ago.. I'm going to beat him to a pulp anyway." Mark grumbled as he stomped to the elevators. 

"No.. Mark.. Don't.. Don't hurt him. He was tired, confused, drugged. He didn't know what he was doing." Elizabeth said hurriedly in Dave's defence. 

"The man kissed my fiancee.. I don't care if it was the Pope himself." He growled angrily. 

"Hey.. A few minutes ago, when you thought it was Peter, you weren't so quick to be rushing off to kick ass.. What's changed now? Can't handle fist fights with men your own size!?" She sighed. 

"No.. But Peter's twice my size!" Mark whined. 

"And your twice Dave's size. It was a mistake. Forget about it, the boy's got enough to worry about without you making it worse." 

*** 

Ginny stood in the doorway, watching Dave toss and turn fitfully, battling an imaginary assailant in his dreams. "David.. Ohhh David. I'm so sorry, honey.." She murmured sadly, before turning and exiting the room and shutting out the light. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"All rise. Honourable Judge Harrison presiding." The bailiff announced loudly. 

"Case no.3563, Mr.Paul Sobriki vs. Dr.David Malucci and the kin of the deceased, Ms.Lucy Knight." He said loudly as he read off the docket and handed it to the judge. 

Harrison looked over the packed crowd, the journalists scribbling madly on notepads in the back row. He exhaled tiredly and sat in the hard oak chair. "Be seated. Will the defendant please rise?" 

Paul nodded, clutching his hands on the table before him and pulling himself upright. He smiled slightly, before chewing on the inside of his lip and remaining stoic. 

"How do you plead?" 

"Not Guilty, Your Honour." He said quietly, his gaze faltering and dropping to the shiny surface of the desk. 

"You may be seated. Council.. Will you be calling your first witness?" 

Harriet Rupert nodded. "I call Dr.Malucci to the stand, your honor." 

Dave rose painfully from his seat, leaning on the cane as he limped to the box. 

"Let it be known for the record that Dr.David Malucci was sworn in, prior to the hearing." The bailiff muttered and the court typographer clicked it off, her fingers flying over the keys. 

"Dr.Malucci.. You were working, the night of Valentine's Day when the defendent allegedly stabbed you and Ms.Knight?" His lawyer said cooly as she flipped through the notes she'd read over and over and over, prior to the hearing. 

"Yes. Yes I was, I was asked to stay on and work the later shift." Dave said nervously, bile rising in his throat. 

"In a statement to the police, your Emergency Department Chief said that you had been sifting through charts.. She means you were looking for the easier better emergency cases, am I correct in that assumption?" His lawyer continued, eyeing him as she looked up from her note pad and paced in front of the box. 

"Yes. I was looking through the rack. She caught me.." Dave said with a slight smile. "It said migraine headaches.. Dr.Weaver caught me.. Told me it was a good easy teaching case.. and to take Lucy." 

"Ms.Knight?" 

"Yes." 

"You did some routine tests on Mr.Sobriki? am I correct?" 

"Yes.. CT scan.. MRI.. Head x-ray.. The usual.. Ran some blood tests.. and we did a tap." Dave said his demeanor faltering, and his hands shaking in his lap. His back was starting to hurt.. 

"A tap.. That's a Spinal Tap? Also referred to as a Lumbar puncture? What does that do?" She smiled at him encouragingly. 

"It's to detect for diseases like Meningitis.. If it's cloudy or bloody, then.." Dave shrugged. "But it wasn't.. it was clear.. Or would have been, if Mr.Sobriki hadn't started to struggle during the puncture." 

"He awoke?" 

"Yes.. He.. He did.. Started to thrash about.. Got me in the face.. As.. As we were leaving... He.. He said he'd get us back.. Said he'd make us pay.." Dave said as he started tremble. 

"OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR! THAT WASN'T PART OF THE QUESTION! I WANT THAT STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD!" The District Attorney boomed. 

"Over-ruled.." The judge looked at the pale sweaty doctor concernedly. "Are you okay Dr.Malucci?" 

"I.. I'm fine.." Dave muttered uneasily. 

Paul stood suddenly and ripped off his dress-jacket. 

Dave's eyes widened, and his swallowed convulsively, vomit rising in his throat, as he started to shake.. "Oh... Oh god.. Oh good god.." 

A knife jutted from Paul's abdomen and Paul started to scream in animalistic wails. "They wanted my organs!! I never will let them get my organs! They are MINE!!!!!!" With a grunt of pain, he wrenched the blood soaked knife from his gut and watched it mesmerized as it dripped with his own dark blood. 

~*~*~*~*~*~   



	17. Courage: 17

cour17.html   
"I can't release you Dr.Malucci. I've told you before the conditions of your release from this hospital." Peter Benton glanced down at his watch, if Dave didn't settle down soon, he'd have to get out the restraints. 

"That's bullshit! I don't need anyone wiping my butt. I can take care of myself!" Dave yelled redfaced at the surgeon who sighed and shook his head sadly. 

Wordlessly, Benton slipped from the room, Dave cursing his departure as the door slid shut. "You can't do this to me! Get back here! I know you can still hear me!" He yelped tremulously. 

Benton stood outside the room, his back pressed up against the door. "Peter... Why won't you give the poor man a break?" 

Kerry crutched up the hall, a bouquet of flowers and a bag of goodies grasped in her slender hand. Benton looked in the bag, an assortment of dirty magazines, a pornographic join-the-dots book and a few medical journals to round out the mix. He raised an eyebrow. "Late night reading material, Kerry?" He said with a smirk. 

"Why won't you release him, Peter? Hasn't the man suffered enough without us running up needless medical bills?" She glared at him. "And don't change the subject on me!" Kerry growled angrily, clutching the bag to her side and spoiling Peter's view of the naked models. 

"He wants out, but he lacks a support system. Nobody to take care of him, no spouse, no brothers or sisters.. He has no family, Kerry and Dave refuses homecare.." Peter grumbled, crossing his arms and peering into the plastic bag. 

"What about the girlfriend? His parents?" Kerry prodded as she peered into Dave's room. 

"There isn't a steady girlfriend willing to care for him in that capacity. His mother is suffering from early onset of Alzheimer's and arthritis, at the age of fifty-five.. She's barely able to care for herself. Dave's only aunt is her full time nurse and is hitting sixty herself.. Believe me Kerry, I've looked into this. Even his father.. His father, by all accounts has dropped off the face of the earth. We won't be getting any assistance from him." 

"So there's no family to care for him at all? You're certain of this?" She groaned sadly as Peter shook his head. A lump formed in her throat as she gazed into the hospital room and watched Dave laying in bed, turned away from the door. 

"I told you.. There's no relative or girlfriend that's living, willing or able to care for him in the state he's in. He's well enough to go home.. WITH ASSISTANCE.. Without that.. He's stuck here.. Simple as that." Peter looked at his watch again. He had an appendectomy to scrub into in less than thirty minutes. 

"So, he's not being released until he agrees to homecare? You know he's not going to agree to that, Peter." Kerry rubbed her eyes with her hand, the bag looped over her thumb and swinging, banging against her chest with the motion. 

"I can't help that. The man can barely stand up, he can barely walk and he thinks I'm going to release him home to an empty apartment? Not likely. I can't do that." He sighed, and walked away from her till he heard the low growl of a disgruntled ER Chief. 

"Take him with you." Kerry said simply, her hand on her hip and her good foot tapping impatiently. 

"KERRY! I can't! I.. I have Reese.. Cleo.." Peter stammered, shaking his head as he walked away muttering to himself. "Malucci?! I couldn't.. How could I? That's just..." 

She rolled her eyes, watching the surgeon retreat down the hall. Looking through the window, Kerry slowly opened the door and walked to his bedside. "Malucci? I brought you some things.." 

"Go away Chief." Dave whispered in response. The fight had left him, he knew he was stuck here for the long haul and there was nothing he could do to change it. Nothing he *wanted* to do anyway. 

Pulling up a chair, she plunked the bag down on the side table and put the fresh flowers in the vase. As she rifled through the bag, Kerry eyed him worriedly and cut the tension with idle chatter. "I think you'll like what I brought." She could tell he'd been crying, that much was evident, but the amount of pain and hopelessness in his voice.. The crestfallen tone and sound of defeat, it was that she wasn't prepared for. "Dave.. You *CAN* go home if you'd only j-" Kerry started sadly. 

"No. I'm not going home just to have somebody wipe my butt and cook my meals. I don't need anyone to do that. I can do that myself." Dave muttered angrily. 

"But Dave.. You're laying in a hospital bed.. Nurses wipe your butt and change your bedpan, help you to the bathroom and bring you your meals. You're barely able to feed yourself.. How is this different from homecare?!" 

He'd turned away from her again, but she could still hear the quiet sniffles. Good god.. She'd made the man cry! Kerry rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. "Dave.. Honey.. We're just trying to help you. Once you get out of this stuffy hospital room and back into your apartment.. It'll get better. You'll see." She said encouragingly, her free hand rubbing his back as she started to rifle through the bag and unpack it onto the table. 

Dave heard the crackle of cellophane and slowly turned towards her. "What did you bring? He said meekly, his gaze following her hands as she slipped the magazines from their plastic. 

"Get well essentials." Kerry said with a slight smile. "Light reading, flowers and an activity book to do when there's nothing on tv.." 

Dave took the gifts with trembling hands and sighed. "Thanks, Chief.." 

"No problem, Malucci.. That's what friends are for." She replied picking up a PentHouse, and opening it to the centerfold.   



	18. Courage:18

cour18.html   
"Is he all packed up and ready to go? His dressing's been changed, you have his discharge papers? He returned that nurse's panties?" Kerry rolled her eyes, Malucci grinning uneasily, as he eyed his new room-mate. 

"Chief!" Malucci muttered quietly, bringing Kerry down to the level of the wheelchair. Bending down, she placed here ear next to his trembling lips. "Why do I have to move in with him?!" He hissed nervously. 

"Because.. You refused home-care.. The house is very nice, and his sister has been quite accommodating. Don't worry Dave.." Kerry smiled and handed the chair over to Peter, who scowled at her. 

"Come on Malucci.." He grumbled, pushing the chair outside and to the waiting cab. 

"You're okay with this, Dr.Pete?" Dave asked nervously as he was helped into the taxi. 

"I'm.... fine with it.. Don't call me me Dr.Pete.." Peter snorted, the cab pulling away and driving to downtown Chicago. 

*** 

"PETER!!" Jackie beamed, Reese wrapped around her neck and his little fingers tangled in her hair. "This must be Dave.." She smiled, taking the duffle bag and waving them into the house. "You're in time for dinner.." She plopped Reese down on the floor and yelled up the stairs. "JESSE! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" 

Suddenly the upstairs of the house began to shake as the boys stampeded down the staircase. "MOM!! I was on the phone!" He groaned, stomping down the stairs after his brothers. 

"With who?" Jackie's brow cocked and her arms crossed. He had been on the phone a lot lately. If that boy was dating.. Ooh.. She'd have his butt... 

"Nobody.. It was a wrong number.." Jesse mumbled, looking at his uncle and the stranger who stood in the doorway. "Who's that?" 

"I.. I'm Dave.." The doctor stuck out his hand awkwardly, and Jesse stared at it. 

"Yeah.." Jesse ignored the outstretched hand and looked at his mom. "He's not sleeping in MY room is he?" 

*** 

"Barbie... I don't know if this is a very good idea.." Keith mumbled uncomfortably as Barb Knight strided confidently through the halls of County. 

"I was told he was allowed to see me.. He's medicated.. He's restrained. I want to see him." She snapped, her voice slowly losing it's edge. 

"Ms.Knight?" The clerk looked at the couple through the wire mesh. He glared at Keith. "Who's this? I only have you listed as a visitor. Too many visitors may agitate Mr.Sobriki." 

"He's..." Barbara looked back at the man, his hand on her shoulder, and sighed. "Lucy Knight's father. He's accompanying me." 

"Let me clear this with Dr.DeRaad.. Then I'll buzz you in." The clerk grumbled, picking up the phone. 

*** 

"So.. Jesse is it?" Dave smiled, as he flopped gingerly onto the bed. He winced as a twinge of pain ran up his side. Thank god for painkillers. He'd take some later.. 

"Yeah.. What about it? I hope you know.. You stayin' in my room. It wasn't my idea." The boy grumbled angrily as he flopped down onto the top bunk. 

"It wasn't my idea either, kid.." The doctor sighed defeatedly. "I'd much rather be at home." 

"So why aren't you? What are you 30? You expecting my mom to wipe your butt or something?!" Jesse sneered, picking up a comic and flipping through it half-heartedly. 

"LOOK! NOBODY'S WIPING MY BUTT, BUT ME! YOU LITTLE JERK! I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE! I WANTED TO GO HOME!" Dave yelled at him throwing down the pillow that he'd been hugging to his chest. Groaning in pain, Dave stumbled from the bed, slipping on the throw rug and crashing down on all fours.. "FUCK! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" The man screamed in pain, his body shuddering, and his fingers digging into the rug, knuckles whitened. 

His knees buckled, and Dave lay on his stomach, his face buried into floor. Nose wrinkled, he realised that the dog had probably pissed there. He'd fallen in old dog piss and he couldn't get up. Dave started to sob quietly. 

Jackie ran to the foot of the stairs after hearing the crash. Probably Jesse showing off and jumping on the bed. "Everything okay up there you two?!" She yelled worriedly. 

Jesse climbed down off the bunk and stood beside Dave's trembling form. "You okay man?" He whispered hoarsely. Man.. Did this guy ever look like shit. 

*** 

"We've got a woman in 3.. Apparently she's a few months along.. There's spotting." Randi muttered, handing the chart off to Cleo as she'd sauntered by the desk. 

"I'm off to see a pedes case in 4." Cleo muttered, staring at the chart. "Samantha Sobriki?" 

"It's his wife.. She's pregnant I guess.." Randi shrugged. 

"Holy shit.. Uhh.. Here.. Give the chicken-pox to Carter.." Cleo mumbled distractedly as she shoved the other chart in Randi's hand. 

"Sure, Dr.Finch.. I'll get right on it.. Lemme go find some itchy third-graders.. We'll have Carter spotty in no time.." 

Cleo raised her head and looked at Randi confused. "Uhh.. sure.. Go ahead.." Her hand slipped the door to exam 3 open as she saw the small figure in a hospital gown. "Mrs. Sobriki? When exactly did the spotting start?" 

*** 

"I still don't think this is a good idea.." Muttered Keith as the caged doors slid open with a mechanical buzzing. 

"I didn't ask your opinion, he killed my daughter. I want to ask why." Barb stormed down the halls, flanked by large orderlies and Dr.DeRaad bringing up the rear. He agreed with Keith, this wasn't a good idea. 

*** 

"Man.. Get up.. You're scarin' me.." Jesse almost whimpered. The guy wasn't dead was he?? 

"Dave? Jesse? Is everything okay up there!?" Jackie repeated again, as she started to climb the stairs. 

Dave winced and swallowed, trying to form a concrete sentence in his head. He must have passed out from the pain.. Everything was foggy.. "I.. I'm fine kid.." He muttered softly, his hand outstretched again. 

This time Jesse took it and helped Dave into a chair. "Yeah, Mom. We're fine.." 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Jackie headed back downstairs to make dinner. 

Jesse quickly went to his door and locked it, before returning to Dave who was breathing heavily as the colour slowly flowed back into his cheeks. "Get my bag, kid.." Dave mumbled weakly, pointing to the table beside him. 

Nodding, he grabbed the duffle and placed it on the doctor's lap. "You okay?" 

"I'm fine.. I.. I need somethin'" His fingers wrapped around the bottle as he twisted off the cap and emptied some into his shaking palm. 

A few of the small white pills tumbled from his hand and skittered across the floor. Jesse chased after one, and picked it up. "Cod-een? What's that for?" 

Dave snatched it from the boy and dry swallowed it along with the rest in his hand. "Painkillers.. I'm in pain.." He muttered through clenched teeth. 

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt, Dave.." Jesse said in a small voice. "Hey... What's in that plastic bag?" Jesse looked at the tattered shopping bag and his eyes widened at the partial glimpse of the naked woman on the cover. 

"Reading material while I was in the hospital.." Dave muttered, his friendly demeanor returning with the absorption of the pills into his system. "I don't think you're old enough." 

"I'm thirteen.. I'm a man.." Jesse said defiantly. 

"A man.. At thirteen.. You'll be a man once your Mom won't freak out over her son reading skin mags. Jackie would kill me." Dave snorted. "Yeah... Right.. You're not getting the magazines.. You want something to read? Here's a medical journal." The sweat still beaded on his brow, but the drugs were slowly kicking in and his colour was returning in his cheeks. 

Jesse stared at the journal, his nose wrinkled in disgust. "C.O.P.D respiratory failure comparison of non-invasive positive pressure ventilation with standard medical therapy in hypercapnic acute respiratory failure? Who writes this crap!?" He grabbed the other one out of Dave's hand and groaned. "AMI EKG importance of posterior chest leads in patients with suspected myocardial infarction, but nondiagnostic routine 12-lead electrocardiogram?!!? Can't I please have a porn? PLEASE!?" 

"Boys! Dinner!" Jackie yelled up the stairs. She hoped everything was okay. 

"Come on, kid.. Supper.. Put the porn down.." Dave grumbled as he struggled to stand. 

Jesse slipped the medical journals and magazines back in the bag and threw them onto the bed. "You need some help?" 

*** 

Barbara wavered in front of the door. What was there to expect?? He was medicated.. He was restrained.. Would he look like something out of Silence of the Lambs? 

"Mr.Sobriki?" She said nervously as they entered the room, clutching the arm of Keith. The arm of the man who at seventeen, wasn't ready to be a father, but now at forty-one with his daughter dead, he was around, he was being the pillar of strength. Barbara sighed. 

"Ms.Knight. They told me you were coming." Paul muttered, staring out the window. "What did you want? You want me to say I'm sorry?" 

*** 

"Hey man, you okay? Come on." Jesse wrapped the man's arms around his small, thin shoulders and partially dragged him from the room. It was slow going, but things were okay until the middle of the staircase, when Dave's rubbery legs collapsed out from under him, causing Jesse to lose his grip. 

"MOM! UNCLE PETER!" Jesse screamed fearfully as the doctor tumbled face-first down the stairs. 

Jackie and Peter ran from the kitchen, the spatula from the hamburgers, still clutched in her hand. They found a near hysterical thirteen year old and a dazed Dr.Dave. "I.. I thought I could do it. He.. He sl-slipped.. I killed him Uncle Peter!" The boy sobbed as Dave stared blearily at the ceiling. 

"You didn't kill me kid, you just dropped me on my head. No harm done." Dave quipped painfully. 

"You okay Malucci? Jess, I think Dave better sleep down here tonight. Just until he's able to gauge the stairs better." Peter said comfortingly. "It's suppertime. Come on you two." He helped Dave to his feet and examining the goose-egg on his head. "You sure you're okay, Malucci? He asked again as the ER doctor and surgeon limped slowly to the dinner table.   
"Yeah.. I think I'm fine.. You're right though. I don't think I should try going upstairs tonight. I'll sleep down here. That's okay right?" Dave winced as he was seated and pulled up the chair. 

"That's fine. That'll be okay. I'll get Jackie to make up the sofa down in the livingroom. It'll be better. No stairs to climb and the bathroom is down the hall. Let's eat." Yeah.. There were no stairs, but the whole reason they'd stuck him in Jesse's room is so the kid could keep an eye on him. There was nobody downstairs, except for the dog.   



	19. Courage 19

cour19.html   
"Wow.. That was great. Thank you. Best burgers I've ever had, beats hospital food hands down, that's for sure." Dave smiled appreciatively, pushing away his plate. 

Jackie stood, clearing the plates "You're welcome, Dave. See boys? Our guest knows how to be polite and thank his host. If only you could follow his fine example and thank your mother for slaving over a hot st-" Jackie replied with a gleam in her eye as her sons chimed in. 

"Thanks Mom. That was grea-" Their chorus of praise was cut off by Dave stumbling away from the table and onto his knees. The family watched him concernedly before Peter pushed away his plate and helped the man to the bathroom. 

"Jess go see if he's okay... Please.." She hissed urgently, as she walked to the sink and dropped in the plates with a clatter of cutlery and cheap stoneware. 

Jesse pushed away his plate and walked nervously to the door and rapped on it hard with his hand. The pounding increasing till his hand was raw and swollen. Slowly the door swung open with a click and Dave was hunched over the toilet. "Waddya want kid?" Dave mumbled thickly. Peter moved away from the toilet as he saw Jesse. 

"You can handle this, Jess?? I'm going to help your Mom do the dishes." Before Jesse could even reply, his uncle exited the bathroom and left the two alone. 

"Mom wanted to know if you were okay. I mean.. You tell her that her burgers are the best in the State then you run off to blow chunks.. Doesn't exactly make her feel appreciated y'know?" Jesse kidded, biting his lip. 

Dave groaned, lurching forward into the toilet, gasping for breath in the fumes of the contents in the bowl and the lingering stench of past visitors. He could feel his stomach contract and churn, his knuckles whitening around the rim. 

"I 'blew chunks' as you put it, because of the medication I'm on.. They make me a little queasy.. I guess I ate too fast.. My own fault." Dave mumbled as his stomach flipped again and the dinner decided to make a return trip. Grimacing, he struggled to breathe and swallow at the same time, causing him to gag.. Knuckles whitening around the bowl, Dave shuddered and gasped and Jess wrapped his arms around the man's middle. 

Placing his littlest finger in Dave's navel, he used his other hand to count up four fingers, before planting his fist and jerking back in upward thrusts. "C-come on Dave.." Jesse grunted, suddenly grateful of what his uncle had taught him and his brothers. "UNCLE PETER!! HELP!" 

Jackie and the rest of the boys came running, "Clear the room. He might have aspirated into his lungs.. I need room.." Suddenly Dave started to cough and spewed the contents all over the toilet. Laying on the floor in a soggy, sweaty mess, Peter walked in and stared down at the young resident. "Dave, we're going to County to get you checked out." He said sternly as the surgeon and his nephews carried him to the sofa. 

"No.. I'm fine.. Really.. Food just came up and went down the wrong pipe.." He smiled hollowly, his face gaunt and drained from the effort. "That's all." Dave muttered, exhausted, wiping his mouth with an unsteady hand. "I'm not going back." 

Peter sighed heavily rubbing his temples. "Malucci, fine. Sometimes you are a real pain in the ass. You want to stay? You can stay, but it's against my better judgement. If anything happens.." 

"I know, I know.. It's my ass. I'm tired. I just need to rest. I just need some sleep. That's all I need, sleep.." He replied as Jackie began shooing the boys from the room. 

"Time for bed." Jackie announced, corralling the boys and leading them towards the stairs. 

"But Mom! It's only eight o'clock!" 

"I said BED! Dave's sleeping here. If you want to watch tv, then go to Jesse's room. I don't want anyone in here disturbing him." Jackie stopped. She'd had enough. The man was sick. Sicker than Peter had let on when she'd agreed to do this. While she had the urge to tell her brother to stuff it and take Malucci someplace else, she knew she had promised him a place to stay. 

Taking her oldest son aside, she lead him from the room. "You know that polar fleece sleeping bag you're so fond of? I'll let you use it if you sleep down here and keep an eye on Dave tonight." She said quietly. 

"Mom!? You serious?!" Jesse hissed in disbelief. He'd actually planned to ask his mom and uncle Peter if he could sleep down stairs with Dave, now he got Mom's sleeping bag, access to the good tv and a free-for-all on the fridge. 

He nodded. "No problem Mom.. I'll keep Dave company." 

"Thanks. I knew I could count on you. Do you think you can manage? Will you be able to help him to the bathroom when he needs to?" She asked concernedly, remembering the tumble down the stairs earlier. 

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mom.. It's only a few feet away." 

"Okay then.. I'm going to clean it up and then I'm going to go to bed. If you could get his things from upstairs.." She paused, looking back into the room, Peter bent over the man and checking him over.   
"I'll get your Uncle Peter to do it." Jackie said quietly. It was bad enough the man had to be baby sat by a kid.. But to have him suffer that sort of indignity.. "Just bring me Dave's clothes.. His belongings.. Go.. Hurry.." 

*** 

Jesse ran up the stairs, puzzled. What was so important that he couldn't help Dave with it? Shoving the magazines down in the bottom of the duffle bag, he dragged it down the stairs and over to the bed. "Leave the stuff here.. Go help your brothers get ready for bed, Jesse.." Jackie said quietly as she pulled out the undershirt and boxers. 

"Mom!" 

"GO!" She shouted at him as Peter started to unbutton Dave's shirt and pull it off. 

"FINE!" Jesse said tearfully as he stomped upstairs. 

"Come on, man.." Peter murmured, wrapping Dave's arms around his neck and standing the man's shaky legs as Jackie pulled off his jeans and helped him get changed into the undershirt and boxers. 

Laying back on the couch, sweaty and already out of breath from standing up as Peter and Jackie had undressed him and redressed him, Dave swallowed, closing his eyes. "F-fuck... I.. I can't e-even change my own clothes.. C-can't go to the bathroom b-by myself.. Th-this S-s..SUCKS!" He panted as he angrily wiped away a tear. 

Jesse had snuck downstairs after tucking his brothers in, watching Dave.. Seeing the scars.. The bandages.. The utter mess the man was in. His mom had wanted to get the man changed.. She'd wanted him to do it.. Then decided against it.. He understood now. 

As he crept back into the room, he stood by the tv, grabbing the remote off the top. "Hey.. I was thinking.. Being the guest and all.. You deserve the remote.." Jesse smiled slightly and Jackie nodded in agreement. 

"That's a good idea Jess.. I'll go get the sleeping bag, then you two can go to bed.. Okay?" Jackie said quietly. She was right.. She'd been more than right. Dave was very ill.. But they said a setting out of the hospital was good for healing.. She hoped they were right. 

***   
"Go fish.." Jesse murmured sleepily as Dave threw down his cards in disgust. 

"This is boring.. Don't you have anything more exciting than cards?" Dave grumbled. 

"Well..." Jesse said slyly.. "There's your magazines.." 

Rolling his eyes, Dave pointed to his bag and requested that it be laid across his legs. "Thanks, kid.." He mumbled, digging through it and throwing the Playboy at Jesse. "Enjoy.. Don't tell me you never got anything from me.." 

Sighing.. Dave looked at the remote on the coffee table. "So do you guys get any decent channels?" He muttered, picking up the clicker and flipping through. 

"We just get basic cable. My Dad... He... Left.. Mom scrapes together what she can.. Cable's included in the rental of the house.. But we don't get anything fun." Jesse grumbled as his eyes slowly started to goggle out of his head, a grin forming as he turned the magazine... Siiiiiiiiiide-waaaaaaaays... 

"Did you want anything fun??" Dave replied cryptically. 

Jesse didn't seem to hear him as he found a 'scratch and sniff' pin-up. 

"Did you WANT anything FUN!?" He prodded again, before Jesse rose his head from behind the already tattered magazine. 

"Fun? What do you m-" Jesse broke off, a grin widening.. "Ohhhh..." Giggling nervously, he nodded. "Yeah.... But what about my Mom?!" 

"Tell her I paid for it to make up for her letting me stay here.. My treat.." Dave's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Now.. Kid.. I can't get back there.. First of all I can't fit behind that thing, and second, I'm afraid if I move, I'll fall off this couch and on my face.. Not a good thing.." 

Carefully, step by step, Dave lead his little prodigy through the important lesson on how to steal cable television. "Finally.. Can you get onto the roof??" 

Jesse looked at the doctor like he'd lost his mind. "You're nuts. I'm not climbing on the roof.. I'll stick to the magazines.. Thanks though.." He muttered, grabbing a Maxim and flipping through it. 

"I'll do it then.. I need wire cutters, needle nose pliers and a..." Dave stumbled off the couch and narrowly missed falling on his face and plowing into the corner of the coffee table. 

"OKAY!" Jesse groaned.. "I'll do it!" He stomped off to the shed in the back yard, and retrieved the needed items. 

Dave smiled. Good kid. "Okay.. First.. Your cable lines?? There's a red one.. a green one and an orange one.. You want to connect the green one and the orange one.. Splice them together.. Then viola.." 

Minutes later Jesse could be heard crashing around on the roof and when Dave was certain that they were all going to be sent down the river for stealing cable, the boy stumbled back into the house, a huge grin plastered on his face and his arms raised over his head in a triumphant show of victory. 

"Okay then.. Let's see if this works kid." Dave chuckled, picking up the remote control. 

As the man and boy fell asleep, surrounded by dirty magazines, popcorn, and chips, the light glow of Bunny McFuckerson and Dick Touchme going at it like a sweaty, perverted filly and stallion flickered over the two, making odd R-rated shadow puppets on the living room wall. 

It wasn't till the next morning though that anything remotely R rated happened, when a tired and caffeine deprived mother stumbled into the living room and let out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush.   



	20. Courage: 20

cour20.html   
"I want him out.. I was willing to treat him like part of the family.. Then he does something like this!? He gave my son porn! He showed my son how to get illegal cable! What he did... He should be locked up, Peter!" Jackie fumed, pacing in the kitchen as Peter kept an eye on Jesse and Dave who were still asleep in the living room. 

"Jackie.. I don't know.. I mean.. Dave was probably just trying to get the boy to like him.. I know when I was that age.." Peter mumbled as his sister beat him over the head with an oven mitt. 

"We're not talking about your perverted years. This is my son.. My son who still plays with G-I Joe... Exposed to.. to that.. filth.." 

*** 

"I know he's got a reputation for being a bit of a pig.." Peter mumbled on the doorstep. 

"I know that.. I've seen that and he's NOT staying in my house, Peter." Cleo crossed her arms. "No way." 

"Please honey.." He stuck out his bottom lip and dropped to his knees, grasping her hands in his and kissing them. "Please? I'll make it worth your while.. I promise.." 

*** 

"I don't know what I want you to say, Paul.." Barb said quietly. "Do I want you to say you're sorry?? I don't know, because I don't know if you are sorry." 

Paul sighed. "I've been medicated, I've been apprised of my actions, I am aware of what I've done. I am also aware that because of the medications I'm on.. That I'm now apparently fit to stand trial. Am I sorry for what I've done? Yes.. Because if I'm found guilty.. I'll spend life in prison. If I'm found not guilty by reason of insanity, I'll spend my life in here.. Not exactly a good prospect for me." 

"Or my daughter.." Barbara said coldly. "She'll never graduate.. She'll never become a doctor. Lucy will never have another boyfriend, or marry or have children. She'll never grow old, or see another sunrise. My daughter will never laugh, she will never cry.. She will never be.. Ever again. You did that Mr.Sobriki, whether aware of your actions at the time or not. You stole my daughter's life. You're a murderer.." 

"Ms.Knight.." Karl DeRaad said softly, tugging back on her arm. 

"Leave me alone.." She snapped, advancing on the bed. "You not only ruined my daughter's chances at life, but you ruined my life.. You ruined the life of a young man.. He holds himself responsible for her death.. When it was YOU that did it.. You've taken the meaning out of all our lives. You will pay for that. I swear to you." 

*** 

"Peter... Did you know that Sobriki had a wife??" Cleo said softly as she walked to the kitchen table. 

"I heard something mentioned. Something about her being admitted to OB?" Peter sighed, Dave was still sitting out in the car. He hoped Cleo would let him stay here, options were running low and his patience was running thin. 

"Yeah... She's pregnant.. Samantha Sobriki.. I admitted her into the ER with spotting.. It wasn't anything serious though. She should be okay. That poor woman.." Cleo sighed, her head dropping into her hands as she stared at the table top. "Not only is she a single mother.. The father is a murderer.. Not exactly a happy way to start a pregnancy." She bit her lip and picked up one of the medical journals stacked neatly in the middle of the table. 

"I'd guess not.." Peter muttered, uncomfortably. "Look.. Cleo.. Dave's been sitting out in the car for an hour now.." 

"Let him sit out there.. Jackie phoned me.. Warning me.. I know what he did.. That man is sick in the head." Cleo growled flipping through an article on genetics and the cloning of organs. 

"Please, Cleo?! He needs a place to stay. I disconnected the cable.. Jackie burned the magazines in a pot on the stove.. Dave's lost his 'evil' power over the young impressionable teens of Chicago.." Peter sighed. "Pleeeeeeease?" 

"FINE! He sleeps in the 'spare room.' I don't have to feed him.. I don't have to deal with him." She muttered irritably as Peter sighed. 

"The man can't stand up on his own steam.. He can barely lift a fork, and needs help to the bathroom." He said quietly. "You'd need to help him.." 

"PETER!! Why did you ever release this man!? He can't feed himself, he can't go to the bathroom by himself and he can't stand up? He should be admitted at County.." Cleo snapped at him angrily. 

"We had to release him. The insurance that covered him with work, ran out.. He doesn't have anymore coverage.. The HMO he's with doesn't think that being admitted for something like that is worth their money.. and Dave refuses home care and any sort of facility." Peter said tiredly, having explained this to probably the hundredth person in the past couple of days.. Dammit, Dave was a pain in the ass. 

"So because Dave refuses to have home care.. Because he refuses to be admitted to a home. So instead he leeches off me and your sister.. Doesn't seem fair." She stared out to the car where Dave had pressed his face against the glass and fallen asleep. "Fine.. He can stay here.. If he messes up my house.. He's gone.. Got it?" 

Peter nodded. "Got it. He'll be good.. I promise." 

"I don't take your promises as iron-clad anymore, Peter.. Let's just call this even. If Dave fucks up? You're going without sex for a month." She smiled evilly and followed him out to the car. 

"Look.. Dave.. You HAVE to be good.. No scuffing her floors.. Clean up after yourself.. and what ever you do.. Man.. PLEASE use a coaster.. She's nuts.." Peter pleaded with the man as Cleo started to drag the stuff from the trunk. 

"What's with all your care and concern, Dr. Pete?" Dave asked suspiciously. "She threaten to cut off your fuck n' cuddle privileges or something? Don't worry Pete.. I'll be good." He sighed. "Good as gold." 

*** 

"Blake Dufresne.. You've had this pain for how long?" Peter tacked the films up onto the board. 

"About a month or so.. I only decided to come in when I started to have bloody craps.." Blake muttered, reddening. 

"Blood in your stool.. That is quite serious, Mr.Dufresne.. I can also assume, blood in your urine as well?" The surgeon ran his finger over the films and sighed. 

"Yes.. How did you know?" 

Peter groaned. "I'll have to do a blood work up.. A stool sample.. a urine sample, but Mr.Dufresne. It looks like you have an advanced stage of bowel cancer.. It's metastasized to your urinary tract.." 

Idiot.. Get sick.. Figure you'll go when you feel 'really sick'.. Now he's in here and they'd have to take out 60 per cent of his bowel, 20 per cent of his intestinal tract and god knows how much of his damned urinary tract.. The guy'd be on bags and tubes for the rest of his life. "Chuni.. Order a stool sample, a urine sample, CBC, Lytes.. Get Mr.Dufresne a bed." 

As Peter walked to the elevators to reserve an OR, his pager vibrated. 

"Cleo.. hey.. baby.. calm down.. What did he do?? Cleo.. Shhh... I don't think it could be THAT bad.." Peter stammered. Damn Malucci..   
  



	21. Courage: 21

Disclaimer: Don't own ER characters.. But if John Wells is reading this and 

loves it enough to buy all my writing and pay me for it so I can finish school.. then.. I LOVE YOU JOHN WELLS!!!!!! 

Previously on ER: Dave and Lucy were stabbed by Sobriki.. Lucy died.. Barb 

Knight went to visit Paul in the looney bin. Dave was released from hospital, 

and moved in with Jackie and Peter. He got kicked out when Jesse was caught with illegal cable and porn magazines. He moved in with Cleo and a few days later... 

*** 

********Courage 21******* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

March 23/2000 

Cleo's kicking me out. I haven't been here two days yet and I'm already gone. I can hear her in the kitchen, yelling on the phone. At least I lasted longer here than at Benton's. He's gotten me a wheel chair borrowed from County. I overheard Cleo when I'd moved in, bitching, telling Dr.Pete that she wasn't going to be dragging my carcass around her house. He got me a wheelchair, it's given me a little freedom, doesn't tire me out like the crutches and is a little less humiliating than being dragged and carried everywhere. 

Cleo had to go grocery shopping yesterday. She asked if I'd be okay by myself, 

she kept asking me if I was sure I'd be okay. Her brow wrinkles and a vein 

pulses in her forehead when she's worried. Not to mention the string of 

never-ending: "No way in hell Malucci am I EVER leaving you alone in my house.. Not EVER." Something she kept saying over and over and over, even after I insisted. I'm sure she's just worried about her precious house. At least.. That's what she yelled when she came in with the bag of pot-roast. She doesn't trust me. Like I said it's not because of my safety, not because she was worried I'd hurt myself when she was gone, it's about her dumb house. What happened wasn't my fault.. I was framed by a dumb cat! 

*** 

Dave angrily threw the pen down and it bounced onto the desk and rolled onto the floor. He drummed his fingers across the notepad and sighed. His hands ached, his palms and wrists still bandaged from the defensive wounds. Writing hurt, sometimes things as simple as breathing, hurt. 

Cleo raised voice echoed from the kitchen where she was yelling at Peter again. "I don't care! You promised! You said he'd behave! You should see what he did to my house, Peter! I'm going to have to get my whole kitchen repainted. YES! Repainted. It looks like a bomb went off. I don't care if he didn't know. He should have. Does it look like I'd own a cat? Do I look like a cat person? For chrissakes Peter! 

**** 

"How did that meeting with Sobriki make you feel, Barbara??" DeRaad asked, the 

woman sitting across from him in his office. 

"How do you think it made me feel, you fat, stupid, vapid excuse for a human 

being?!" She shouted at him, grabbing the RUBICK'S CUBE paper weight off the 

desk and finishing it in a swift fit of anger. "I can't believe you could ask 

something so..." 

Karl sighed. "Ms.Knight.." Looking down at his pad, he made various notes, 

underlining the scrawl of upping the woman's sedative dosage.. He hoped a doctor in San Francisco would take his suggestions to heart.. Suggestions like locking the woman away in a rubber room and keeping her away from people who's named rhymed with "Oh so sticky!" 

"Ms.Knight.. Mr.Sobriki is being moved to Emmerdale Maximum Security facility, 

until the trial. You are free to stay in Chicago till the trial, but maybe it's best that you return to California until he's arraigned. You'll be with family, it'll be better, allow you to heal." 

Barbara sighed. Heal.. The loss of her daugher was like an open wound. It could never heal.. Not without Lucy.. Even though, she'd been away.. There was always the assurance she'd come home one day. Now she'd never be home.. The room, Barb had kept perfect since Lucy had left for college, still wasn't touched, she didn't know if she could EVER go back in.. She swallowed bitterly, grimacing. "M-maybe that's best." 

**** 

Dave smiled at the orange marmalade tabby, tapping at the Kitchen window and 

greeting the doctor with a friendly *murrrrrrrrrrrrrp?* 

"Hey there cat." He said kindly, as he eased himself forward out of the chair. 

Grasping the counter with one hand, Dave pulled himself into a standing 

position, opening the window latch and coaxing the cat inside. As soon as the 

giant orange feline sat on the inside ledge, it's fierce green eyes narrowed, 

burning with hate as he launched himself at the doctor. Dave scrambled, batting at it frantically, trying to get him onto the floor. 

A projectile of fur and teeth, it leapt into his arms, throwing him off balance and into the the chair. "Oooof!" Dave screamed in pain as the cat pounced, climbing up his arm and shoulder, digging in as he ran up kneading his claws into his skull and 'cat'-apulting itself onto the counters and skidding across the smooth glossed marble counters. Crashing into the various pieces of pottery that housed Cleo's various kitchen utensils. 

Knocking the crockery of flour, sugar and coffee onto the tiles with a smash, 

Dave winced, as the cat hopped onto the fridge and toppled the containers of 

defrosting spaghetti sauce onto the floor with a satisfying shattering splat. 

"Fucking cat!" Dave muttered breathlessly, looking around the kitchen, covered 

in tomatoes and cat hair. "Cleo's going to kill me." 

The cat crouched in the corner, hackles raised and breathing heavily. With his 

ebbing strength, Dave threw the nearest thing he could reach, the mug of cold 

coffee he'd been nursing that morning. The cold viscous liquid splashed up 

against the clean, white cabinets, the mug smashing to the floor. The cat hissed angrily and leapt up onto the counters and out the window. 

*** 

"DOCTOR DAVID MALUCCI! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE!?" The woman slogged into the house, bags in hand, stepping around shattered pots and plants and various bits of debris. Cleo clenched her jaw and glared at the doctor who was leaning 

against the counter in an effort to stand. If her hands weren't full of 

groceries.. God help him.. God help her to prevent doing something she'd regret. 


	22. Courage 22

Chapter 22: Courage. 

**** 

"I can't see how you can kick him out into the street like this, Cleo..." Peter protested, as his female co-worker began flinging Malucci's things into a box. 

"I can and I will." Cleo snapped, glaring at the man who stood over her. "I can do as I damn well please, Peter.. After all.. What are you? My boyfriend? I don't think so.. I don't think you have a say in the matter. Why do you care so much about Malucci anyway?" 

"Because.. He can't stay by himself. He can't live alone.. He has nowhere to go and he can't be re-admitted. Malucci doesn't have any damn insurance, remember?!" He grumbled in response, as he started to unpack Dave's things faster than Cleo could toss them in. 

"Stop it Peter... Who says you can tell me what to do!? He's a pig.. He made a mess of my house! I told you and I mean it. He's GONE, and as far as I am concerned, you are celibate. No sex... None.. Go find that cat of Malucci's, because that's the only way you're ever getting ANY pussy around here.. Now GET OUT!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

I can't stand this fruity stationery of Cleo's... I mean.. Where in the hell did she get it? They're yelling again... It's like being at home in New York.. Dad just getting all pissed off.. Sitting in his chair, occasionally jumping out of the La-Z-y Boy to scare the living shit out of everybody.. Ma always said his bark was worse than his bite, but I've got the scars to prove her wrong... 

** 

"FINE!!!! He'll move out.. I don't know where in the hell to, Cleo, but hey.. Your precious house is more important than a man's well-being.." Peter spat in disgust as he snatched up his cell phone. 

"A man's well-being!?? Getting all high and mighty on me all of a sudden Dr.Benton?? I think you're just pouting because I've put a knot in your willy." She sneered, stomping out of the room. 

"Hi... Ummm.. Mark? It's Peter Benton.. Remember Malucci... He was released last week?? Uhh.. Well.." 

*~*~*~*~*~ 

Mark!? Dr.Greene? Oh Christ.. That's the last thing I need right now.. I mean for crying out loud.. Dr.Greene?! WHY HIM!? Awww man... 

*** 

"Dr.Dave..." Mark smiled phonily at the man, and watched from his front steps of the apartment building as Peter struggled to extricate the enfeebled doctor from the cab and into his wheel chair. 

"Thanks for the help, Greene.. It was much appreciated.." Peter grumbled sarcastically as he pushed Dave up the walk. 

"Oh.. You're welcome.. When I heard Dave was in a little trouble finding a place to live.. Of course I was pleased to have you call on me." The ER attending's feigned sympathy oozing from every one of his creepy bald-guy pores. 

"Stuff it Greene.." Dave growled angrily as he attempted to launch himself onto the senior staff member. "I'm going to hate this as much as you do.. More-so even.. So you can just can the bullshit." 

"Don't think you can play your 'Poor Malucci' card with me, Dr.Dave.." Mark snapped in return. "I've had enough of your bull at work. I'm doing this as a favour to Dr.Corday actually.. This was NOT my idea of a good time. I'm doing this FOR you.. Accept it or not, your room is in here.." 

Mark lead him into the apartment building, through the lobby and to the rows of elevators. Dave snorted. It was a little more posh than his own apartment, but not quite. He didn't know what Greene was being so cocky about, his apartment was just par above slum, there wasn't much to be proud of. "I guess I should thank you then.." The younger man muttered, arms crossed. 

"Thank you, would be a start... I'll leave you to get settled in, I'll be in the kitchen finishing off my supper that had been so rudely interrupted.. If you'll excuse me." Mark brushed past the pale and breathless man who had seated himself on the twin bed and exited the room. 

"Home sweet home.. Huh, Malucci?" Peter muttered sarcastically as he watched Greene stomp angrily to his kitchen. 

"You're kidding me right? I mean.. You know it wasn't my fault.. I didn't know she didn't have a cat. How was I supposed to know!?" Dave sighed heavily and flopped backwards onto the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. "If I'd just gone home.. If I'd just hadn't been flipping through the charts like that.. If I had-" 

"Stop it... Don't do that.. The world is not built on 'what ifs'.. The world is not built on the past. You can't change the past Malucci.. Lucy's dead.. You're alive, and that's life.. If it had been another time.. Maybe another one of us would have been in that room with Lucy, but we all can't dwell on it like that.. I know that Weaver and Carter are beating themselves up as much as anyone else could, but Carter wasn't the one stabbed.. If he had been, he.." Peter trailed off, shaking his head. 

"If he had been.. He wouldn't be in this mess.. He'd be at home in his cushy mansion with his servants and his damn 'Gamma'.." Dave finished bitterly. 

"Yeah." Peter replied honestly. "He probably would, but he wasn't stabbed.. You were.. You survived all the shit.. Even though you don't realize it now, Malucci.. You're lucky." 

"Lucky? How can you figure that?!" Dave whispered hoarsely, wrapping his arms around himself as he rolled carefully onto his side and into the fetal position. "How am I lucky?" 

"You're not dead.. You're not locked up in a mental hospital, you haven't lost a daughter.. Everyone else was affected by this, Dave.. They've all lost something. You have life, and freedom. There's nothing more precious than that." 

Dave stared at the surgeon, biting his lip and drawing doodles into the comforter with his finger. "What was it like?" He whispered softly, Peter walked further into the room, his head cocked to catch the soft hoarse words. 

"There was a lot of blood.. Alot of it.. You crashed on the table in the trauma room.. We were short staffed.. I was bouncing back and forth between traumas.. We finally got you upstairs into the OR.. You crashed again on the table.. We got you stable, stitched you up.. Anspaugh was determined to save your damned kidney, but I tied it off.. I had to tie off the hematoma near your spinal cord too... You came out of it okay though.. You really would have been fucked then.. It was bad, Dave.. You know that.. I know Anspaugh told you this.. Weaver said she walked in afterwards, you were white as a goddamned sheet." Peter sighed, ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. "So.. You okay now man?? I can go home now?" 

"Yeah.. I guesso.. What about Cleo.. Have I fucked things up??" Dave muttered, somewhat worried. 

"Yeah.. Things are pretty messed up, but I have charm, charisma and her car keys.." Peter chuckled softly and exited the bedroom. "Good night, Malucci..." 

Peter left the room, his hand on the doorknob as he pulled the door closed. "Dr.Pete?" He bit back a heavy and exasperated sigh and entered the small bedroom. 

"Yes, Malucci?" 

"You were wrong you know.. I did lose in all this.. I lost a friend, a kidney, and my freedom. I can't exactly go home now can I?!" He smiled harshly at Benton, before dropping his head onto the pillow and turning away from him. 

"No, Malucci.. You can't.. You can't go home, I'm sorry." Peter stared at the ground, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I'm sorry, man.. I.. I gotta go okay?" 

Dave nodded in response and the door slid shut behind him as the surgeon escaped the small apartment, the rundown building and the uncomfortable situation. 

**** 

"Dave.. Dave get up.. Get up now.. I don't want you in here alone. You have to come with me. Get up Malucci.. Now.." 

Dave pulled his head out from under the Back-Street Boy motifed sheets and glared at Mark from under the goulish bedspread featuring the soul-less grins of Howie and Nick. "What do you want?" 

He hadn't got much sleep that night, the disembodied head of A-J on the fleece pillow whispering evil thoughts about taking over the world through mind control, subliminal messages and cute poseable action figures. Secretly, Dave was grateful. Mark had walked in on his nightmare when the boy band had suddenly decided to induct Malucci into the group as the new cute recruit. They figured the name Dave was too main stream. After renaming him Manny, the manager and five pod people left, leaving the seamstress alone with a measuring tape and several lengths of denim. "We're trying to bring back acid wash jeans, actually the whole 80's decade. We think copying New Kids on the Block would be a wise decision. Would you be willing to wear this Mullet wig? How about lipstick and mascara?" 

Suddenly Mark's hands had been shaking him awake and he scowled at the man for waking him from his slumber. "Where are 'we' going? Hooters?" 

"Very funny, Malucci.. Get up, I'm going to be late for work.." Mark grumbled angrily, yanking down the bed sheets and throwing a scrub set at him. 

"Whoa.. County? I'm sorry, Greene. I'm not going there. No thanks.. I'll stay here and sleep." Dave turned onto his side. 

"NO.. You're coming with me. What do you mean, you're not going there. You don't have a choice. You're coming with me, and that's final!" Greene barked, his eyes narrowed, a slow trickle of sweat starting on his brow. He glanced at his watch. "Come on Malucci, get your ass in gear." 

"I'm not going.. In case you forgot.. A few weeks ago I was nearly killed in that fucking hospital.. You know.. Fruitcake with a butcher knife?? Killed Lucy?? Ring any fucking bells!???" Dave yelled at him. "I don't fucking think you even went for a shit at work after *your* little experience! Probably wore diapers for months after you were attacked. I don't blame ya, and that's the reason I'm not going." 

"Get in that fucking car NOW!! My life and my past experiences are NONE of your fucking business and I'd like to think you didn't subscribe to the gossip mill, Malucci. Especially since you're probably prime fodder for it right now. After all, this is the 4th person you've had to come live with?? Having personality conflicts with your housebotes are we DAVE!?" Mark said patronizingly. "Well I don't give a flying fuck. Do what you like, live on the streets, but right now, you're living under my roof and you're going to do as I say. Get out of my daughter's bed, get into those scrubs and I'll see you in the kitchen in five minutes. I made EGGOS." 

**** 

"Kerry.. How's your leg feeling in this weather we're having??" Luka murmured, advancing on the ER Chief as he walked down the slick pavement of the El-Station.Wet blobs of snow littered the grey concrete like soggy toilet paper and she stood in the midst of it, unaware of his question. 

"Kerry?" He repeated again, walking up behind her and tapping the woman on the shoulder. Startled she jumped slightly, and swung around to meet his gaze. 

"Ohh!" Grabbing his forearm to steady herself, their eyes locked and she reddened. "Hello." Kerry said softly. "You scared me.. Sneaking up on me like that.." She scolded him, her hand trembling on the cane. 

"I'm sorry Dr.Weaver.. I didn't mean to.. I spoke to you, asked you a question, you didn't hear me.." Luka's fingers fumbled with the woolen scarf that had been wrapped carefully around his neck. Knit by his deceased wife, he sometimes took it from the closet where it hung and buried his face into the coarse fibres, smelling it.. Imagining her small fingers that had spent hours by the fire creating it.. 

"That's okay. You're forgiven." Kerry replied with a small smile. "You're going home as well??" She said while mentally giving herself a little kick. Why else would he be taking the El? To see the Chicago scenery?! 

"Yes.. Home.. Some of that soup in a can and a good book before bed. Did that Emmie Johnson's films ever get back from Radiology?" He smiled nervously, 'talk about work' Luka said to himself, that way it's easier. 

"I don't want to talk about work now, Luka.. Come on, soup's not enough to eat after the day we had.. Come over to my place.. I'll cook dinner." 


	23. Part 23 - Chapters 23-24

1  
  
1.1.1 Chapter 23 "Old Scars,New Wounds."  
  
1.1.2  
  
Great... Thought Luka as he followed her onto the train. 'Don't talk about work.' What then? Sports? The weather?? "Luka.." She called out to him, patting the seat and shaking him out of his thoughts. He nodded, seating himself beside her. "Did you want to come over and have sex? I brought some condoms home from the clinic.."  
  
He looked at her goggle eyed, his brows arched in surprise. "WHAT!?" Luka squeaked, his face flushing red.  
  
Kerry looked at him oddly and repeated herself. "Luka... Did you want to come over for dinner? I bought some steaks from the butcher."  
  
"D-dinner?? Sure, sounds great. What time?" He stammered, looking away from her and staring out the dirt marred windows of the subway car. The world rushed by so fast, and yet he was stuck in a time warp. Stuck in a moving box with a woman who was his boss, who he had spent the night with. A woman who obviously cared about him, while his own wife still held onto him by the woven threads of wool. Luka fingered the scarf, breaking the foggy gaze from the rushing stone columns in the subway tunnels. "I would like dinner very much, that sounds nice. Did you want me to bring wine?"  
  
Kerry bit her lip as tears burned her eyes. He was doing it again, thinking about her. She didn't know why it bothered her so much. What was Luka to her, but a friend... But the way he seemed still attached to Danijela, it wasn't like the two of them had divorced, the relationship never had a time to end, a time to heal the wounds left. Kerry recalled the teamwork that had occurred those weeks ago in the adjoining trauma rooms working on the two doctors feverishly as they attempted to put their lives back together. Life really hadn't been the same since.  
  
Life hadn't been the same since she'd found Malucci face down in a puddle of his own blood. She was only grateful that Luka had been there at least one of the nights she'd awoken from the horrific nightmares stemming from that day. He'd held her, obviously confused, obviously slowly cluing in to what the dream had been about. They never mentioned the nightmares the two of them had that night. Neither of them did. Not even the loud mutterings that Luka did in his sleep, moaning, soft muffled screaming into his pillow, as his knuckles whitened around the bedclothes, a sweaty mess of pain. Kerry never questioned it in the morning, over the hot black coffee that he brewed, dark hollows under his eyes from lack of sleep, his jittery hands snug around the large cup. "Wine would be good.. I'll see you around eight." She said softly, pulling herself up and grasping the sticky metal pole as the El creaked to a stop.  
  
***  
  
"Dr.Romano, there's two women here to see you." Shirley announced, sticking her head into his office, the surgeon raising his head from the papers on his desk and looking at her pointedly.  
  
"Who are they and what do they want, Shirley? Make it quick, I'm up to my eyeballs in paperwork. The lawyers are all over this thing. Do you know how much they want me to sign so we cover our asses?! A doctor died because we can't get our patients under control." He muttered angrily, slamming down his pen. "Who is it dammit!?"  
  
"It's Samantha Sobriki and Barbara Knight, Dr.Romano." Shirley said, her head disappearing from view. Robert "Rocket" Romano sighed heavily, his finger flicking the pen on the blotter, it rolling away slowly as he slipped his head into his hands and groaned. "Send them in." He muttered.  
  
***  
  
Barb Knight had stared at the woman out of the corner of her eye, the old tattered Cosmo just a mere attempt at focusing her attention on something else. She seemed so young, yet so aged. What could have happened to such a beautiful young girl to make her seem so weary? "She looks the way I feel.." Barb thought to herself, "Poor girl." She muttered softly, flipping the pages of the magazine.  
  
Shirley walked to the waiting room, biting her lip. Did the two women know? Did they know who each other were? What was she walking into? What would she find when she walked into that room? The wife of a murderer and the mother of the victim. The odds weren't good. "Ms.Knight?" She said, opening the door and smiling weakly at the mother before turning to the other woman. "Ms.Sobriki? Dr.Romano will see you now."  
  
Slowly the two women exchanged glances, swallowing, colour dropping from their cheeks as they averted their eyes and stood. In such an enclosed space and they thought they were worlds away. Barb shuddered, she never fathomed one could be so closely related to a stranger. She stood mechanically. Did she hate this woman? For marrying a sick man? Did she hate the man for being sick? Did she hate the doctor behind that door who was going to try to convince her not to sue the hospital for killing her daughter? She wondered if Samantha was going to sue the hospital for not taking care of her husband, for letting him walk free, wandering the hospital, carrying a butcher knife.  
  
****  
  
"Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall.. Forty-nine bottles of beer.." Dave muttered as he leaned back in the chair, slowly spinning and staring at the ceiling. The day had been exceptionally slow and Mark had shoved him into the suture room with a pile of charts.  
  
"Do these.." He had growled, slamming the clipboards down on the counter with a metallic thump. "And once you're done those. I'm sure Haleh can find you something to do." Mark exited the room, letting the door slam behind him.  
  
"But I.." Dave sighed, grabbing the pen and thrusting it angrily across the room, before pulling himself onto the examining table and falling asleep.  
  
"Malucci.. You shouldn't be sleeping. What if Greene catches you?" Randi had stood in the doorway with an amused smirk.  
  
He glared at her, staring up at the ceiling. "So let him catch me." Dave grumbled. "Like I give a shit anymore."  
  
"Get up off the table, get into that chair, and I'll bring you some lunch." Randi sighed watching his eyebrows shoot up. "I'm not going to make a habit of this, so watch it. Get up. When I get back, you'll be pretending you're doing some work and I'll have a sandwich for you. Deal?"  
  
Dave nodded, crawling painfully off the table and plopping into the chair, "Deal.. Anything but anchovies or liverwurst."  
  
An hour later, he was busy with charts and picking at his sandwich, the half with liverwurst and anchovies had been shoved aside and he nibbled on the peanut butter and jelly. This was more boring than watching grass grow, but at least he'd gotten a lunch out of it. Lazily he spun, staring at the ceiling and humming the last few bars of the song. "Nineteen bottles of beer on the wall.. Nineteen bottles of beer.. Take one down.. Pass it a-"  
  
The door crashed open and Haleh looked at him. "Malucci get out here.. We need all the hands we can get. Multiple MVA. Four major, six minor. Get your ass in gear, Dr.Dave." She said frantically, waving her hands and motioning for him to move.  
  
"But.."  
  
"NOW!"  
  
Silently, Dave stooped beside the chair and struggled to grab his crutches. His body trembling with exertion, he slipped them under himself and crutched out the door and past Haleh. "I'm going.. My ass is in gear.." He muttered angrily, as he limped past the nurse.  
  
Haleh followed up the rear and pointed for him to sit on the small stool in front of the small child. "You can do sutures?" She muttered kindly, shoving a kit in front of him.  
  
"I can." He whispered back, staring at the kit and down at the young boy who had lost interest in Dr.Dave and struggled to see where they'd shipped his parents off to.  
  
"Where'd my Mummy go?" The kid stared at him, the lower lip quivering and Dave wincing as he heard the sounds wafting from the trauma rooms. Where- ever his mother was, it didn't sound so good.  
  
"My friends are taking care of your Mom." Dave said softly, as he opened the kit with a shaking hand. Taking care of her, like they took care of me. Like they took care of Lucy. "Let me get a look at that cut on your forehe- " As he reached for the boy, the child bolted, making a beeline for the trauma room doors.  
  
"KID! Hey... Get away from there." Dave warned, limping towards him as he managed to get one crutch under his arm. "Kid.. Come on.." Painfully, he made his way to the trauma rooms and attempted to scoop the child under his arm, pinning him to his side. "S-stop kid.." Dave groaned, dropping the crutch as the kid squirmed and kicked. Crashing to his knees, he groped for a hold on him as the boy slipped from his grasp and ran into the room.  
  
Closing his eyes, and gasping in pain, Dave put his hands out to push himself up, limping to the room without the aid of his crutches, and crashing through the door.  
  
Mark's head snapped up and looked at the doctor who'd come stumbling through the entrance. "Malucci.. What in the hell?!"  
  
"Just getting a run away patient, Dr.Greene." Dave grunted in pain, his arms swinging wildly, trying to get his hands on the kid that dodged in front of him. His hands finally connected, grabbing the kid around the middle and stumbling backwards as the kid screamed.  
  
"Mommmmmmmmy!!" The kid wailed as Dave's insides liquefied with pain. He couldn't look up, he wouldn't look up. A wayward sneaker connected with Dave's midsection and the young doctor paled, his eyes goggling, and his head snapping up to lock gaze with the doctors at the trauma gurney.  
  
Suddenly the squirming child didn't seem like an issue anymore as the woman, slick with her own blood began to code and Mark was handed the sternal saw. Mark looked at Malucci, the man quivery and pale, almost stunned, his eyes glassy. "Haleh. Get them out of here." He barked, starting up the saw.  
  
"Lucy.." He croaked, as Haleh lead him from the room.  
  
"It's not Lucy, hon.." She informed him kindly, seating both the boy and the doctor in an exam room. "Lucy's gone. Let me get a look at where the kid kicked you, lift up your shirt." Dave stared at the floor, shaking, as Haleh lifted his scrub top.  
  
*****  
  
"Dr.Romano, I would just like you to know. I'm not going to pursue legal action." Barb Knight smiled sadly and stared at her hands. "I've spoken with my family.. With the Malucci family. We don't think it's in our best interest to pursue this any further. It's been painful enough."  
  
Romano let out the breath he'd been holding and nodded. "It's settled then. As you know, our lawyers are working on a sum of compensation for all the parties involved and I assure you it will be a-"  
  
Samantha Sobriki, who had been silent up to that moment, staring off into space and chewing absently on her lip, moved her hands over her midsection and murmured. Both Barb and Romano exchanged glances before the glassy eyed young woman met their gaze. "I'm suing. I'm suing this hospital. I'm suing Dr.Malucci.. I have talked to my lawyers." She whispered defiantly. "You took my husband away f-from me!" Samantha said angrily. "You caused this. You are going to pay for my baby's welfare and well-being. My husband was training to be a lawyer. We would have lived comfortably if it hadn't been for your irresponsible staff who obviously don't know what they're doing. You're going to pay Dr.Romano. County General is going to pay for what it did to my husband."  
  
Her chin dropped to her chest and her small frail hands covered her face as she burst into tears and began to shake.  
  
  
  
1.1.3 Chapter 24 – "Sweet Dreams Are Made of This."  
  
1.1.4 "Dave. Would you mind if I sent you upstairs for an CT?" Haleh said softly, as she probed the scarred midsection of the resident. "Dave?"  
  
1.1.5  
  
Dave sat, staring off into space, biting down on his lip and attempting to ignore the shooting pains as the nurse poked at him. His head felt like a numb blob upon his shoulders and he turned it slowly, looking at her with a glazed expression. "Yuhh huh?"  
  
Haleh pursed her lips and sighed. "Okay... Lay down..." She ordered.  
  
"But..." He replied weakly, allowing her to help him onto the gurney, lying down in a semi-fetal position. He trembled slightly, his skin suddenly clammy and cold, and his forehead beaded with sweat. Dave's eyes drooped closed as the tired doctor fell asleep.  
  
"No buts." She said kindly, walking briskly from the room.  
  
****  
  
"He's dead..." Haleh announced to the ER as they all looked up, disinterested.  
  
"Enough of that. He was supposed to be dead twenty chapters ago. Stop fucking with our heads." Mark snapped angrily as he walked from the trauma room, pitching his gown into the bin.  
  
Dejectedly the nurse sighed. "Fine. He's not dead. He needs a consult and a CT. You guys aren't any fun." She muttered stubbornly and stomped back into the exam room.  
  
****  
  
"What did you say to them?" Dave whispered softly, his hands wrapped around his midsection.  
  
"I told them you were dead." Haleh said solemnly, bowing her head.  
  
"You WHAT!?"  
  
"Nothing.. Here." The nurse walked to the gurney, inserting something into the man's IV.  
  
"Ha-?" Dave moaned as the room began to spin and he woke up in a white room.  
  
****  
  
This wasn't the first time Dave had met her. But, this was the first time they ever worked this closely together. What was she doing anyway? Painting his toenails?? This wasn't right. Why couldn't he move?  
  
"HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAVE!!" They cheered around the gurney causing his drooping lids to widen with surprise.  
  
"Wha?! It's like March.. What in the fuck?" He growled angrily, the tranquilizer wearing off and Dave started having feeling back in his limbs.  
  
"We figured we make you think you're dead!!!!" Luka grinned. "Pretty funny, eh?? Eh?? Pretty funny!!!!!!! She's the mortician. She's painting your toe nails.. Just like if you were dead! Pretty funny eh!? Dave? You think that's funny Dr.Dave?? Ehh?? You think it's funny Dave?? Dave?"  
  
***  
  
"Dave? Wake up... Dave... Yo... Dr.Dave..." Carter shook the man slightly, and smiled as he awoke. "You okay man?? You look like you're havin' nightmares. Haleh sent me in here to check you out.. You feelin' okay? I heard that kid gave you a real whack to the gut!" He whispered kindly.  
  
"I... Mark... I remember something about a chapter, or me dying, or something? Do you know what's going on? Haleh said I was dead.. and then..." Dave murmured softly, his skin pale and warm.  
  
"What do you mean exactly? You were stabbed over a month ago, you've been in and out of hospital for check-ups. You're living with Mark Greene... What's this about Chapters? Did you want me to go down and get you a book? I don't have to go to Chapters to get a book you know, they have books in the gift shop."  
  
Carter said kindly, wondering if the man was trying to take advantage of him or something. Yeah he had money, but he wasn't going to go out to Chapters and buy this guy a book out of the blue.  
  
"I guess it was a nightmare." Dave breathed softly. "Sorry." Slowly his eyes slid shut and his breathing slowed.  
  
"Dave?" Carter sighed. Poor bastard.. That little brat must have really booted him one. "I'm gonna examine you, okay?" The man winced, nodding slightly as Carter began to carefully palpate the abdomen while assessing the Dave's pained expression. "I'm going to order a CT and an ultrasound and a couple tests? You okay?" He said worriedly, looking back outside as gurneys rolled by, white sheets draped over them. The brat was an orphan.  
  
Leaving the trembling mass on the gurney, Carter grabbed a chart, writing down a few med orders and tests, walking outside to find a nurse. "Chuny.. Could you-"  
  
She waved him off, rushing past as another ambulance pulled up. "I'm busy Carter!"  
  
"Wendy?" He pleaded.  
  
"Nope.. Sorry.." The diminutive nurse replied, running out into the ambulance bay.  
  
With a sigh, he walked to the drug locker and grabbed the supplies himself. It was going to be a very long day. Banging into the room, his arms full, Dave's body was slack, a greyish hue. "Oooh shit!" Stumbling, Carter grabbed the gurney awkwardly, bashing it into the equipment in the room as he tried to maneuver it out the door. "GUYS!!! GUYS! I need a doctor here.. Somebody.. I need some help.. Dave... I.. He's..."  
  
*****  
  
"Okay.. CT, Ultrasound, DPT.. Order HCT, WBC, serum amylase and lipase, urinalysis Peter growled, glaring at Carter, as he gowned up in the trauma room. "Why in the fuck were you doing this yourself?"  
  
"I.. He was okay a minute ago.." Carter stammered weakly, staring at Dave on the gurney.  
  
"You said you found him passed out." The surgeon barked angrily grabbing the  
  
ultrasound machine and running it over Dave's abdomen. "Shit!" He looked up at Carter, staring at him. "Well?"  
  
"He was sleeping.. I-I woke him up. He was having nightmares about being dead or something." Carter said, gowning up.  
  
"What are you doing.. Get out.. I don't need you in here.." Benton snapped angrily, pointing to the doors.  
  
"But."  
  
"OUT! And get Kovac in here to assist!"  
  
"He's off.."  
  
"Weaver.."  
  
"Off."  
  
"Dammit! Page them.. Page somebody.."  
  
***  
  
"Inject 100cc of lidocaine and epi.. Good.. Now you have to insert the NG tube and Foley.. Yeah intra-umbilical.. Careful of the scarring.." Benton said with a low growl, talking the young student through the procedure as Carter stood outside.  
  
Morgana looked up at the man and the surgeon corrected her sharply. "Keep your eyes on your work dammit! Careful of the scar tissue.. You'll tear something.. Dammit.. Give it to me.. I'll show you.."  
  
Benton wrenched the equipment from her trembling hands and pushed her out of the way. "Here.. Watch.." he said gruffly. "You make incisions at the rectus abdominus, and the linea alba, midline. Enter the peritoneum, and insert the dialysis catheter. Direct the catheter into the pelvic and aspirate."  
  
Lily Marquez looked up. "It's positive Dr.Benton.. 500 White Blood Count.."  
  
Morgana Stern wrinkled her nose at all the blood. "Yuck.."  
  
Benton sighed. "Positive.. Shit!! We gotta get him upstairs.. Haleh, call for a room.." 


	24. Part 24 - Chapters 25-26

Chapter 25  
  
1.1.1 "When Angels Weep."  
  
"That was delicious Luka.. I have to admit.. I'm not a huge fan of lamb.. But that was amaaaazing.." Kerry smiled, wiping her hands on her napkin. "The salad.. Everything was delicious. Where did you learn to cook like that!?"  
  
Luka pushed himself back roughly from the table and cleared the dishes. "My wife taught me. She was a good cook. A good teacher." He said gruffly, staring at her plate. "Are you finished?" He said in a dead monotone, the cheery man who'd poured wine in her glass and laughed as he overflowed it during dinner, was gone. It was an empty shell.  
  
Kerry stared at him as he scooped up the crockery and stumbled to the kitchen. It was odd.. There was a chill in the air. The same sort of chill her mother had always said happened, when an angel died.  
  
**************  
  
"We're losing him! We need more blood.. Dammit! Shirley, hang some more 0- neg.. Call the bank again!" Romano glared at Benton. "Can't keep your patients under control down there? Isn't this the second time we've had Malucci up here because of rampaging patients?" He snarled.  
  
"Yes.. But, this is different, he was 4... It was an accident, his mother was dying." Benton murmured, the surgical site filling with blood again. "Suction." The cacophony-like sound of straws searching empty glasses of soda, filled the room, in beat with the screaming monitors. "Pack some more gauze in there.. The blood's obscuring my work site."  
  
"Paddles.. Charge to 200.. Round of Epi.." Shirley handed him the paddles and stood back, watching Dave on the gurney, smothered in blood, the second time in two months. "CLEAR!" Romano barked, the surgeons, techs and nurses backing off.  
  
"SHIT. Charge to 250.." Romano sighed looking at the man on the gurney, his mind wandering..  
  
***************  
  
"Sue?? Ms.Sobriki.. You can't necessarily mean you plan to sue County? Your husband is infirm. He's mentally incompetent. I assure you, if he was fit to stand trial, our lawyers, Malucci's Lawyers, AND.." Romano looked pointedly at Barb Knight. "Mrs.Knight's lawyers would be suing your husband for full damages, as well as him coming up on murder charges. I'm afraid as far as negligence you haven't a leg to stand on." He puffed his chest proudly and sneered at the woman.  
  
"Oh.. So it's not true that one of your doctors said, and I quote. 'Why wasn't this man put into restraints!?' Even your own staff knows something was wrong. My husband was a danger to himself. That does demand action like restraints and sedation, correct?" Samantha Sobriki snarled back, tears stinging her eyes.  
  
"We were waiting on a psych consult. We couldn't do that without a consult." Romano said feebly, making a mental note to seek out and kill the person who said this within earshot of the nutjob's wife.  
  
"Are you saying you couldn't have restrained him or posted security guards or something?" She shot back angrily. "Your argument is weak, doctor. You will be hearing from my lawyers." Samantha stood shakily snapping up her purse and stomping from the room.  
  
*******  
  
Luka slammed the last plate into the dishwasher. Why was he so angry? She'd complimented him on the meal. Kerry hadn't done anything wrong. Kerry? He stepped out the doorway of the dining room. She was gone.  
  
The front door wide open, he stumbled out into the snow, wrapping his strong, shivering arms around himself. "Kerry?"  
  
"Luka." She dead panned, staring up at the sky. There had to be a star somewhere. "It's chilly out here.. An angel has died.."  
  
"No..." Luka pulled the woman close, pulling the blanket around them that she had draped over her shoulders. The two sunk to the steps and they stared out into the night. "When a cold chill comes up in the air.. It's not a dying angel.. The angels are weeping."  
  
Kerry looked over at him, his face taut with drying tears, slowly she nodded, nuzzling into his shoulder.  
  
"The tears of the angels fell upon Abraham's knife, so that it could not cut Isaac's throat." Luka said hoarsely. "Why couldn't tears of the angels fall upon Paul's knife?" He hung his head, his thick frame shuddering with pent-up sobs. "The angels are weeping, but it's too late, Kerry.. It's too late for Lucy and Dave... Their knife wasn't dulled by angel's tears... It was sharp... and it cut deep."  
  
*******  
  
"Elizabeth.." Mark tread softly into the chapel. It was used for bereft parents, stricken with grief, people looking for forgiveness, for guidance. "Elizabeth?"  
  
"Mark.. I.. I haven't really been in a church since I left England, you know." She replied with a faraway, small voice, her gaze centred on the figurine of Mary and baby Jesus.  
  
"Beth.." He tried again, walking up to the pew, and sitting down beside her on the hard polished wood.  
  
"He's up in surgery again.. Malucci.. Abdominal trauma.. I.." Elizabeth placed her feet on edge of the pew, bringing her knees to her chin, wrapping her arms around them as she clasped her shaking hands together.  
  
"You're praying for him? Elizabeth.." Mark sighed.  
  
"It's the least I can do Mark." She pleaded, falling to her knees in prayer.  
  
"Why? You didn't stab him!" He squeaked in disbelief.  
  
"NO.. But we haven't done much either. He KISSED me in hospital.. Have I gone  
  
to talk to the man? Have I gotten stuff sorted? NO.. I haven't. I'm as guilty as Sobriki. Have I seen him since he'd gotten out of hospital? No." She said stubbornly, bowing her head and murmuring the Lord's Prayer.  
  
"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen." A finger went to her eyes as she dabbed away the tears.  
  
Elizabeth raised her head to watch her husband stumble away. "Mark? The angels are weeping Mark.. Don't shut them out. Listen.. Listen to the angels!" She called out to him as the heavy doors shut, the slamming resonating through-out the church.  
  
As Elizabeth bowed her head again, she didn't hear the quiet shuffling of somebody awakening from their nap in the back pew.  
  
~~  
  
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.  
  
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:  
  
He leadeth me beside the still waters.  
  
He restoreth my soul:  
  
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.  
  
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  
  
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;  
  
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.  
  
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;  
  
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.  
  
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,  
  
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.  
  
~~  
  
The voice shaky, it harmonized with Elizabeth's till they were almost side by  
  
side. The surgeon looked up and breathed a startled gasp.  
  
"Ms.Sobriki."  
  
"I'm not a monster you know.." She said sadly. "My husband's not a monster. What he did. He.. He's not really like that. We.. We don't even have a cat.. Or.. Or a dog for that matter.. He's sick.. I didn't want to believe it. He was fine that day. He complained of a headache, but it was stressful you know.. School, exams... We were all stressed out. But.."  
  
Samantha sniffled, a choked strangled sob, as her gloved hand covered her mouth. "He just wanted to be careful. Wanted to make sure he was alright, just in case it was something serious like a tumour or syphilis or something.." She stared at her shoes. "Not that I'd give him syphilis or anything.. We were just worried.."  
  
*******  
  
"Spleen's gone.." Romano snorted, tying it off. "This guy's getting more space in here.. Maybe he should rent it out. One kidney gone.. Spleen gone. Maybe just stick a revolving door in his abdomen.. Easier access when he's sent back up here again." he sighed raggedly, cauterizing the wound and finishing up his work, closing up his blunt trauma patient.  
  
Slamming the instruments back into the tray, Romano backed away from the gurney. "I'm done. Ship him up to ICU.. Keep an eye on him. Run a course of fluids, 1000mg Augmentin by IV."  
  
*******  
  
Slowly Romano made his way to the chapel, standing in the doorway as the two women looked up. Elizabeth looked at the man pleadingly and Robert nodded. Samantha looked to Romano, as the surgeon in the illuminated church archway, whispered yes.  
  
And the angels wept with joy.  
  
Chapter 26 "Space Man"  
  
Spaceman, oh spaceman!  
  
come rescue me from this!  
  
calling all aliens!  
  
come rescue me!  
  
- Spaceman: Bif Naked  
  
The room was shrouded in a faded darkness like the coming of dusk, the hallway's fluorescent lights casting a faint glow in the hospital room as the man lay in his room and stared fixedly at the ceiling.  
  
The room had belonged to an elderly woman with a bad hip. Edith Vasner's family had visited her every day and brought flowers, the room once smelling of wild roses and hopeful good cheer. Edith had gone home, her old hip replaced with plastic and metal, and her family taking her into their home and heart.  
  
Now it smelled of antiseptic and iodine. It smelled of pain and exertion. It smelled of a lonely emptiness. The man that now lay in Edith's bed breathed slowly, counting each respiration and each prick and throb of pain. The nurses had come and gone, changing his dressing and his IV meds.  
  
The man had a visitor, he'd sat beside the broken soul, waiting for him to wake. It had been the second time he'd been in hospital. The man that is, not the visitor. The visitor worked in the hospital, in fact; so did the man.  
  
The visitor sighed, his attention drawn to the outside window, the sky thick with falling snow, when his friend spoke. In fact he'd spoken before, but Mark was too drawn to the outside world. "So you never EVER wished I was dead?"  
  
Dave repeated again to Mark who sat by his bedside. "No.. Well.. You have to admit.. You are a pain in the ass sometimes... But no... I've never wished you dead. I never EVER said you should have been dead ages ago. I never said anything of the sort." Mark replied, reassuring the man. "Carter's right.. You must have been having nightmares.  
  
"Well.. If you're sure.." Dave said quietly, staring at the IV pole beside him and sighing. "I don't like laying here... I don't want to be in here.. I was only out less than a month, Dr.Greene.. It's not fair. Couldn't you get me out at all?"  
  
"No.. You know I can't. You just had major surgery... You'll have to stay for awhile till you heal up.. Till we can take that chest tube out.. Till we can take out the rest of the tubes draining your incisions.. I can't release you Dave. I'm sorry." Mark slowly exhaled, ducking his head and staring at his shoes. "I'm sorry Dave."  
  
"You haven't phoned my Mom yet have you?" The man whispered sadly, changing the subject, his fingers trailing down the IV lines in his arm.  
  
"No.. We haven't-" Mark started, almost plaintively. "Don't.. Don't phone her.. She won't remember anyway.. If my aunt phones.. Tell her I'm sleeping, or at the store or something.. Okay? I don't want to worry them." Dave Malucci said, determined to keep his family in the dark. He'd already put his family through enough, a little set back wasn't enough to worry them all over again.  
  
"Dave, we have to contact somebody."  
  
"No.. Don't tell anyone.. It's okay. I'll be fine."  
  
"What about that girlfriend? Cheryl? Should we phone her at all?"  
  
"Cindy.. We're not together anymore.. She.. We're not together anymore. She's found somebody without so much emotional baggage." Dave said with a tinge of bitterness in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry Dave."  
  
"Hey.. Not your fault. I thought I was the one who couldn't take commitment. I guess I was wrong.. Even she couldn't handle it getting a little rocky.. She bailed out. It's her prerogative, I guess." Dave said honestly. "I just need a little sleep.. I'm gonna get some sleep. Okay Dr.Greene?"  
  
Mark nodded, standing up and straightening the pleat in his pants. "No problem, Dave. You get some rest. The bed will still be there at my place when you get released. Don't worry."  
  
*********  
  
"You're suing the hospital? I thought this was settled?" Carter sighed, his fingers drumming on his leg cast, now signed by half the hospital. His fingers settled on a small crack in the plaster and his finger nail picked away at the fine dust, his gaze fixed on it as he refused to look her in the eye.  
  
"It is.. Or it was.. Yes.. It's settled.. I don't know anymore Carter. You knew her. What do you think?" Barb Knight sighed, staring out the window at the falling snow, the bustling of ambulances and street cleaners marring the peaceful whiteness of the outside world.  
  
"What do I think? I think it's bad enough we have Samantha Sobriki trying to sue. I thought you said it'd be too painful for everyone to deal with." He said honestly. "I think it'd be bad for everyone. That's what I think. But if you really want to, I can get one of our lawyers to talk to you. I'm sure Gamma would be happy to help you in anyway she can." He smiled hopefully. The hope that resided in his heart was a lot less that what he showed in his cheery smile, but the woman needed hope, he was glad to spare all he could. "It'll be okay, Ms.Knight.."  
  
"Thank you Dr. Carter."  
  
****************  
  
"Ms. Sobriki.. I know you're hurting. I know you're looking out for the welfare of your child, but I don't think that suing the hospital.. Suing the Maluccis.. Suing the Knights.. It's not a way to make friends, and there's no guarantee you'd win in the first place..." Elizabeth sat beside the woman, rubbing her back as Samantha sobbed, shaking her head.  
  
"I.. I'm sorry.. Dr. Romano.. He-" Samantha broke off weeping into her mittens and allowed Elizabeth to pull her into an embrace.  
  
"Dr. Romano is an insensitive horrid old sod. Anything he said, I'm sorry... I'm sorry about your husband and I'll personally try to do anything I can to help you get settled. I know some real estate agents, I have some connections with social services. I'm promising you, Samantha. I'll help you and your baby any way I can." Stroking the woman's back, Elizabeth let her nuzzle into her curls, her hair now sodden with salty tears. Samantha was in so much pain, and there wasn't really anything anyone could do. Nothing that would make Paul Sobriki right again. Nothing that could ever turn back the clock and put everything right again.  
  
*********************  
  
"Mark.. Get back to work.." Kerry snapped, standing in the doorway, standing more straighter than usual, her arm linked with Luka's. She didn't avert her eyes or blush as Greene's eyes fixated on Luka, on the hand that was intertwined with hers.  
  
She watched as the man slunk from the room and walked down the hall, his head twitching as if he ached for another look, to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but he dare not. With a suppressed sigh of fear she strode to Dave's bedside, her hand still held by Kovac.  
  
"How are you feeling, Dave?" Luka said, with a small smile, his hand breaking free and his arm circling around Kerry's shoulders. Dave looked at the sight for a moment and shrugged.  
  
"Fine I guess.. Fine as to be expected. So your dinner date went well?"  
  
Kerry reddened slightly, and Luka exchanged a confused and fearful glance with her. "How did you-?"  
  
"It's all over the ER now.. They were looking for you.. When that kid.. When I.." Dave groaned, staring out the window, taking a deep sigh in order to compose his thoughts. "They couldn't find either of you, and finally put two and two together.. That little stare-down with Greene can't have helped much. Did you two walk all the way up here like that?" Referring to the hands they gripped tightly, as if letting go would cause both to spiral out of control and out of existence completely.  
  
He said it almost accusingly with an edge to his voice, but Dave was more curious about it than anything else. They hadn't really thought about it. As Luka and Kerry had headed back into her house, the phone rang. The news of Dave's emergency surgery was made evident and they rushed down to County, parking in the underground garage in his reserved spot. Luka of course had to help Kerry from the car. The cold weather stiffening her leg, and the slick ice in the garage making the goings dangerous.  
  
"Yes.. I suppose so." Kerry said carefully. "We might have..." She said guiltily as if holding the attending's hand was a sinful thing.  
  
"Well then it's out then. You guys are an item. Congratulations." Dave said some-what cheerfully. 


	25. Part 25 - Chapters 27-28

Chapter 27 "The forgotten pleasures in life."  
  
*******  
  
Dave.... I-" Kerry said, startled as she looked from Dave and back to Luka. "Dave, we-" She rung her hands, looking away from the man on the bed, when a noise filled the air, saving her from having to say anything further.  
  
Luka swore, pulling off his pager and reading the numbers. "It's the ER, Kerry. We should go." He smiled sympathetically at Dave and shrugged. "I am so sorry Dave."  
  
"Luka-" Before she could get another word out edgewise, her pager went off as well. "Ohh. For fuck's sake.." Kerry grumbled, ripping it from her belt and shutting it off.  
  
"KERRY!" Luka murmured, surprised. Giving him a dirty look, she sighed, looking at the pager again, turning it back on, and clipping it to her blouse. It still vibrated slightly, ruffling the indian silk that hung on her frame like a pink dream.  
  
"We should go now. It's good to see that you're well, Malucci. I'll bring up some of that Sailor Crunchy you like so much, okay?" He smiled, grasping Kerry's hand and heading for the door as their pagers went off again.  
  
"That's Captain Cr-" Dave tried to explain, but the two of them were gone. Well great. All alone again. Alone with his thoughts, his dreams, his nightmares... He stared at the ceiling and suddenly wished for one of those hand-held pleasure wands, at least he'd be able to do something alone that didn't make him scream in fright. Except Cindy had taken the Pleasure Chest when she'd moved out.. He'd have to start his motor manually.. Finally, when all the nurses had disappeared down the corridors, he slipped his hands underneath the blankets and had the first true smile on his lips in months  
  
***  
  
"I assure you we'll do everything in our power to come to a reasonable sum for-" Romano sleazed, his hands clasped and a smarmy plastic smile plastered across his face.  
  
"Shut up. Barb and I have talked.. It wasn't to your benefit to make us wait like that.. We talked during that little hour of reading old TIME magazines, we've decided to sue the hospital together on behalf of my husband and her daughter. You did this to Lucy and Paul, not us." Samantha Sobriki mumbled tearfully into a wad of kleenex as Barb Knight patted her kindly on the shoulder.  
  
"I.." Romano stared at them. Before had been bad enough. At least before the hospital could have dissuaded one of them. Paying off one paltry sum was easier than paying double that.. He groaned softly. "I have a meeting to get to, ladies. So if you'll excuse me!" He leapt up from his desk, ushering the women out the door, slamming it, and his back coming to rest against the fogged glass. GOD. Things just kept getting worse didn't they?!  
  
Shirley banged on his door slightly, causing the man to clutch his chest and gasp. "Dr.Romano? Your mother's on line two." Shit. Things DID keep getting worse! "She says she has some sort of boil that she wants her Dr. Bobby-wobby to check it out." She snickered, letting the door slide closed. Softly, Romano rapped the back of his head repeatedly on the glass. Today wasn't a good day.. It wasn't a good day at all.  
  
"Abby? Where's my patient?" Luka demanded, hands on hips as he searched the exam room. "Mr.Feeney?" He squeaked nervously. The last time a patient hid.. Luka shuddered. Slowly he stooped to his hands and knees looking underneath the counter when Abby walked up behind  
  
"He left an hour ago. Mr.Feeney said he wasn't going to be treated in a hospital where we let nutcases run loose and stab the doctors." Abby announced, plunking the chart down on the desk as Luka yelped, his head swinging up and smashing underneath the counter.  
  
"Yeeeouch! For crying out loud. What do you mean he left? How did he find out?" Luka grumbled, rubbing his head and emerging from underneath.  
  
Abby shrugged, looking outside the ambulance bay. "Maybe those guys tipped him off." She murmured looking out at the striking janitors.  
  
"What do you mean? They're just striking custodians, Abby. What could they have to do with Sobriki?" Luka whined, gingerly touching the back of his head where a bump was forming, his fingers probing the soft flesh as he scowled.  
  
"Maybe their signs and placards saying they're not mopping up anymore innocent blood. Or that guy handing out leaflets, or that guy selling pogo hotdogs and calling them Lucy-kabobs, or Medstudent on a Stick.. You know because Lucy was skewered..." Abby rambled on before Luka clocked her upside the head.  
  
"Shut up already. I get it. Hey.. He's selling Croatian sausage with the works!!" Luka's demeanor improved slightly. "Alright! Lunch time!" He crowed, running out into the ambulance bay.  
  
****  
  
"Carter what are you doing with Malik's rollerblades?" Chen said accusingly as she watched him strap them on.  
  
"I'm going rollerblading.. What does it look like!?" He shot back, his eyes narrowed. "Besides they're my rollerblades."  
  
"You nearly broke your neck last time, John.." Deb 'Jing Mei' said worriedly as she watched him stand, steadying himself with the arm of the sofa.  
  
Chuni popped her head into the lounge and looked at the two doctors. "We have a vic from a kitchen fire coming in, ETA two minutes, guys.. Carter.. Are you trying to break both legs this time?" She rolled her eyes and went back to the front desk.  
  
Chen looked at Carter. "See? You can't even do it now.. We have a patient coming in, take them off I'll see you in the trauma." She stood, walking from the room. "Come on John.. Hurry up."  
  
****  
  
"Kitchen fire, she got trapped in the house when a pan of oil caught on fire. Unresponsive female, ID says she's Cindy Wakely, 32 years old. Shortness of breath, vital signs elevated, singed, sooty, erythematous airway, dry mouth, conjunctival injection." Doris yelled to Chen as they wheeled the gurney into trauma two.  
  
"One.. Two.. Three.. Lift.. What do you mean she was trapped?" Chen barked as they moved the backboard onto the trauma gurney.  
  
"The door to the kitchen was jammed, we found her collapsed against it. A neighbour came home and saw the flames and called it in." Shep replied, looking at his vic.  
  
"Get a carbohemoglobin, arterial blood gas, EKG and a chest x-ray." Carter shouted as he jogged into the room, slipping his stethascope over his neck. "Holy crap.. Is that?!"  
  
Chen shot him a dirty look. "It's about time you got here. What's that look for?!" She sighed watching the man gown up and sidle in beside the gurney.  
  
"That's Dave's ex-girlfriend," Carter muttered angrily, getting back into the trauma. "What's her GCS? he shouted.  
  
******  
  
"Dr.Malucci? Doctor?? Are you okay?" The nurse pushed the cart into the room, locking it beside the bed as she watched the sleeping Dave. His hands still under the blankets causing a lump on the bed. Tina's complexion turning scarlet, she carefully shook his shoulder. "Dr.Malucci?"  
  
"Wha?" He winced, his eyes squinting in the bright overhead light the nurse had turned on. Every inch of him ached. Every inch but... Dave's head cleared and he remembered where his hands were, his cheeks flushing as he wiped them on his gown under the blankets and folded them neatly on the covers. "Oh.. Hey.. Uh.."  
  
She smiled. "It's time for your meds, Dr.Malucci." Tina said handing him the little plastic cup of pills and paper cup of water. "I trust you had a nice nap?"  
  
Dave blushed.. "Yes.. I did. Thank you. Hey.. When I get out of here.. Did you want to go for a beer or something?"  
  
Tina stared at the doctor, cocking a brow. "Dr.Malucci... I.." She busied herself, sorting the containers of pills and water, straightening each cup, lining them up on the tray.  
  
"Call me Dave.. and say yes.. It's just a beer.. That's all I ask." Dave smiled expectantly. He knew he was ruined goods now. His skin wasn't smooth and unblemished now. It was covered in scars and stitches.. He wasn't the cute ass he once was. Now he had to rely on his charm and personality. He groaned softly. This was going to be a tough sell.  
  
"Dave.. I don't think drinking while on your medications would be a very good idea anyway." Tina tutted disapprovingly. It wasn't that she didn't think he was cute. It wasn't that he was a patient now. It was just... She sighed. "A Pepsi and burger would be nice though. Once you've healed up. I don't want you endangering yourself over a little date." Taking the empty cups from him, she crushed them and deposited the waste into the can beside his bed. "Get some sleep now Dave." She said with a smile, leaving the room and closing his door.  
  
"I.. I will.. Thank you.." Dave called back, staring at his hand. She'd caught him whacking off in his sleep and she'd still said yes. Maybe his friend, Joey was right. He'd survived an attempted murder, a psycho kid, AND the nurse said yes. Maybe he *was* born with a horseshoe up his ass!  
  
****  
  
"EKG shows sinus tach.. She's throwing PVCs, Dr. Carter." Haleh informed him as Wendy rushed in the room.  
  
"Her labs are back Dr.Chen," She said, handing the doctor the films.  
  
"The arterial blood gas shows Hypoxemia and the carboxyhemoglobin is elevated."  
  
Carter groaned. "Start a litre of 02 by mask, page Dr. Weaver. I don't know if we should tell Dave or not."  
  
Chuni grabbed him by the shoulder and waved her hand in front of his face. "DR.CARTER.. She's breaking down.. Her sats are falling.."  
  
*****  
  
"You do realize that it was just a kiss, Mark.. He kissed me. He was altered. He thought I was Cindy." Elizabeth pleaded, brushing her hand over his head, her fingers running through what was left of his hair. "Mark.. Please. Don't be so angry.. It happened so long ago, it wasn't my fault."  
  
"Not your fault? Yeah, I bet you liked it though.. His full luscious Italian lips... All smooth and creamy and wonderful, tugging softly as you kissed back, his tongue finding his way into your mouth. " Mark muttered with a whine to his voice.  
  
"Mark.. Have you been looking at Malucci's lips?" Elizabeth replied with a cocked brow. Things had gotten weird between them over the past month, whether it was just marital blues or hormones, she wasn't certain.  
  
"NO! I mean. It's just, you probably liked kissing him more than you like kissing me.. That's all." Mark covered quickly, turning away from her in bed.  
  
"Mark.. You're being silly. Of course I like kissing you!" She said with a laugh, tugging at him, pulling him into an embrace. "Come on Mark.. I love you. I do, please don't be upset.. I thought this was over with!"  
  
Mark sighed pitifully. "I don't know Elizabeth, sometimes I just don't feel loved. That's all." He said morosely.  
  
Elizabeth snorted. "Oh.. and let me guess, there are some times of the month that you don't feel daisy fresh, right?"  
  
Mark sighed, grabbing his pillow. "I'm going to sleep on the couch." He muttered, stomping out of the room as Elizabeth called after him.  
  
"No! Mark, wait! We can do each other's hair and nails!" She hooted, doubled over with laughter as Mark slammed the door.  
  
******  
  
"On a warm summer's evenin',  
  
On a train bound for nowhere  
  
I met up with the gambler.  
  
We were both too tired to sleep.  
  
So we took turns a-starin'  
  
Out the window at the darkness.  
  
When boredom overtook us,  
  
He began to speak.  
  
He said, "Son, I've made a life  
  
Out of readin' people's faces.  
  
Knowin' what the cards were.  
  
By the way they held their eyes.  
  
So if you don't mind my sayin',  
  
I can see you're out of aces,  
  
For a taste of your whiskey,  
  
I'll give you some advice."  
  
So I handed him my bottle,  
  
and he drank down my last swallow.  
  
Then he bummed a cigarette  
  
And asked me for a light.  
  
And the night got deathly quiet,  
  
And his faced lost all expression.  
  
He said, "If You're gonna play the game, boy,  
  
You gotta learn to play it right."  
  
You've got to know  
  
When to hold 'em,  
  
Know when to fold 'em  
  
Know when to walk away,  
  
Know when to run.  
  
You never count your money  
  
When you're sittin' at the table.  
  
There'll be time enough for countin'  
  
When the dealin's done.  
  
Every gambler knows  
  
That the secret to survivin'  
  
Is knowin' what to throw away  
  
And knowin' what to keep.  
  
'Cause every hand's a winner  
  
And every hand's a loser  
  
And the best that you can hope for  
  
Is to die in your sleep."  
  
And when he finished speakin',  
  
He turned back toward the window  
  
Crushed out his cigarette  
  
And faded off to sleep.  
  
And somewhere in the darkness,  
  
The gambler he broke even.  
  
And in his final words I found  
  
An ace that I could keep.  
  
You've got to know  
  
When to hold 'em,  
  
Know when to fold 'em  
  
Know when to walk away,  
  
Know when to run.  
  
You never count your money  
  
When you're sittin' at the table.  
  
There'll be time enough for countin'  
  
When the dealin's done.  
  
You've got to know  
  
When to hold 'em,  
  
Know when to fold 'em  
  
Know when to walk away,  
  
Know when to run.  
  
You never count your money  
  
When you're sittin' at the table.  
  
There'll be time enough for countin'  
  
When the dealin's done."  
  
Author's Note: Yeah.. Kenny Rogers.. I know.. But, my ex-roommate sings this everytime she gets plastered. It's her drinking song. So I have a soft spot for it...  
  
The guy stumbled from the stage, his beer in hand, an arm flailing wildly as he struggled to keep his balance and foist the mic off onto the next sap. "I... I wuz goood!" He crowed, lifting his hands over his head. The bartender rolled his eyes. "That was Marvin Samson, singing, Kenny Rogers' 'The Gambler'. Everyone give him a big hand, ladies and gents."  
  
Mark sipped at his beer, looking sullen and depressed. "I don't know why you made me come here. I'm not in the mood, Elizabeth."  
  
"Oh Mark.. You're never in the mood! Come on.. Let's go sing!" She said cheerily, trying to drag him to the stage. "Come on Mark." "Don't you remember? Last time we were here we got paged." He said matter-of-factly. "I don't want to tempt fate." Mark said, his arms crossed, leaning back in the chair and glaring at his wife. "I'm not going. You can't make me." He said sourly.  
  
"Ohh Mark.. Don't be such a wet blanket!" Elizabeth rebutted happily, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to the mike. "It's not the same as last time. I mean our parents went to park the car and we haven't seen them since. Dave is fine.. Lucy can't get anymore dead than she already is. Things are okay, Mark."  
  
"NO Elizabeth! I don't want to!" He whined, standing beside her, as she pulled herself up onto the stool. A protest of the whole affair. Boycotting fun, his arms crossed and an ugly scowl on his face.  
  
Sighing heavily, Elizabeth began to sing, without the words coming across the screen. She smiled slightly, her lips parted as they almost touched the mic. Her long curls resting on her shoulders and gleaming in the lights. Taking a deep breath, she started to belt out the song.  
  
"Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand  
  
Jesus freaks out in the street  
  
Handing tickets out for God  
  
Turning back she just laughs  
  
The boulevard is not that bad  
  
Piano man he makes his stand  
  
In the auditorium  
  
Looking on she sings the songs  
  
The words she knows, the tune she hums  
  
But oh how it feels so real  
  
Lying here with no one near  
  
Only you and you can hear me  
  
When I say softly, slowly  
  
Hold me closer tiny dancer  
  
Count the headlights on the highway  
  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
  
you had a busy day today  
  
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand  
  
(author's note: © 1971 Dick James Music Limited: Elton John's Tiny  
  
Dancer. I'm addicted to the Almost Famous Soundtrack. G)  
  
Mark sighed, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend and giving her a long moist kiss. "You're a lot better looking than Elton, you know that?! I want you so bad.." He smiled, kissing her deeply, their tongues merging and thrusting as his hand slipped down her shirt, his fingers wrapping around her pert breasts as he massaged it gently, his other hand joining as they started to lift off her shirt.  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake.. Get a room!" The bartender yelled, throwing a towel at them.  
  
Elizabeth gathered up her bra, scurrying off-stage with Mark, giggling as they ran to the car, their clothes ending up in a heap on the floor of the backseat. Mark struggled over the front seat, and rifled through the glove box. "OH SHIT!"  
  
She sighed, laying naked on the back-seat, her hands behind her head and staring at the upholstery lined ceiling. "Mark.. Get some pants on... Drive to the 24 hour apothecaries.. Get some con-domes.. NOW Mark.."  
  
**  
  
With the box of condoms on the floor of the car and Elizabeth carefully teasing Mark, her hands running over his chest, her fingers stroking and running softly over his coming erection. She watched as he unwrapped the rubber, slipping it carefully over the tip of his erect penis, rolling it down. Elizabeth smiled, kissing his navel softly as he guided himself in her and thrusted slightly to get 'parked.'  
  
As the car started to rock violently, Elizabeth's screams of rapture as Mark pounded her into the calf leather seats, the squeaking of the springs sounding like that of mice being sat on, over and over and over again. Mark's nails dug into her shoulders as he grappled for leverage, grunting with joy as the sweat beaded on his brow, a silly grin on his face. "I love it when you sing Elton John." He moaned, kissing her lips.  
  
She smiled. "So you don''t care about Malucci?" Elizabeth said with a moan as Mark started to jackhammer again, her thighs thrumming against the seat which had become hot and sticky.  
  
"Does it look like it? I'm the one fucking you.. Not him. So no.. I don't give a shit about that guy.." He muttered, ducking his head to kiss her breasts, the peppered wetness running up her neck and along her shoulder. "I love you honey.."  
  
Chapter 28- "Miss Misery"  
  
"It's about taking a fall. To vanish into oblivion is easy to do. and I try to be, but you know me I come back when you want me to. Do you miss me? Miss Misery. Like you say you do?" Elliot Smith – Miss Misery.  
  
************  
  
Can't bounce back... People can recover... Recover from trauma. Recover from injuries. Can't recover from this. Can't bounce back from this. Not from this. This was beyond... Beyond any of their capabilities.  
  
They'd tried their damndest. As they had explained to countless families, loved ones, parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles... We used all of our capabilities, used all our resources available... But their injuries were too severe, we did all we could... But...  
  
Can't bounce back from death. Death was permanent, didn't have a Band-Aid for death. Nothing to inject to make the brain matter keep ticking. Brain- dead was... Dead.  
  
Carter stared at the body on the slab. How was he going to tell Dave? WHAT was he going to tell him? The chick was dead... Carefully he took her wrist in his fingers and then let it drop to the table. Dead. D-E-A-D. The wires, leads and tubes still sprang from her body as they had an hour ago. She was now the responsibility of the morgue... That is- if Eddie ever got his ass up here.  
  
Dead. She was dead. Cindy was dead. Carter closed his eyes for a second. The purple-two headed monster popping in his head. "DE?" "AD?" "DE..." "...AD..." "DE...AD?" The monster smiled waving at Carter. "DEAD! Yaaaay! Dead! Dead! Dead! Eddie's here to take her to the morgue, Doctor Carter.."  
  
John Carter blinked, ducking his head and rubbing his eyes. Slowly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he looked at the nurse. "What?" He murmured tiredly. He was getting a fierce headache. He didn't need this shit right now. "What did you say?"  
  
Lily smiled nervously, sort of a sad smile, one corner of her mouth turned up as if she didn't have the heart or energy to turn up both ends. "Transport's here... To take the body... I mean Ci-... To take Ms.Wakely... I mean..." She sighed. "Eddie's here..." Lily waved at the entrance to trauma 2. Eddie was standing there, leaning on the door frame, his hands shoved into his pockets.  
  
"Hey Hoss..." He muttered, chewing disinterestedly on a toothpick. "What we got? Another stiff. Big surprise." Eddie snorted as his own joke, walking to the gurney.  
  
"Don't call me that..." Carter muttered, not looking at Lily, he stared at Eddie, his voice devoid of emotion. "Don't call me that. I don't like it. You know my name."  
  
"Fine.." Eddie rolled his eyes. "I'll take the body now. DOCTOR Carter.." He snorted, grabbing the end of the bed roughly and pulled the sheet over top. "Prick... Malucci calls ya that... Prick... Thinkin' he's better than me..." Eddie grunted as he pushed Cindy out of the room.  
  
"You watch what you say. Dave is a better man than you'll ever be." Carter grunted. "Get out of here... Careful with her... You be careful with her."  
  
**********  
  
Isabelle looked at David Greene and sighed. "Do you even think they know we're gone? I mean... We've been gone over almost two months. Almost two..." Grasping the dice in her hands, she shook them in her palm and blew on them. "Come on lucky seven!" She muttered.  
  
"I don't know... Why should we care? I mean... Last we heard was that they'd be stuck in trauma... We might as well be stuck here... Right?" David muttered as the crowd that had gathered around the table, cheered.  
  
"If you say so... I just find it a bit odd. Don't you?" Isabelle said with a worried grin. They were winning... They had enough to get to Hawaii. Get away and never come back. She passed him the dice. "Come on... I'm looking forward to grass skirts..."  
  
"Grass skirts?!" David Greene shuddered. "You'd never catch me dead in one of those. Grass skirts... I don't damned well think so, woman!" He grunted, throwing the dice. "Don't worry about them not mentioning us... Who cares! If they haven't mentioned us, it's been good luck so far.. Put half on lucky number 6!"  
  
******  
  
"WHO'S YER DADDY!?" Elizabeth screamed as she was pinned up against the car door, her feet pressed up against the front seat and the car window. Mark had been fucking her silly for about an hour now and he grinned.  
  
"David Greene!" Mark grunted, licking her neck, kissing her temples and working up a nice hickey. "Daddy David Greene, Biotch!"  
  
****  
  
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!" David Greene yelled as the dealer took the lot. "For fuck's sake, Mark... This is coming out of your daughter's college fund, Mark!"  
  
***  
  
"But I'm yer Daddy now... I'm gonna spank you silly! Bad GIRL!" He panted, his teeth gleaming in the light that was shone through the window.  
  
The rapping of a night stick on the fogged glass caused Elizabeth to flinch and smack her head on the ceiling. "BLOODY HELL!"  
  
A sweaty palm streaked away the mist and Mark looked goggled eyed at the police officer. The man looked sternly at the two naked bodies in the car and made a twirling motion with his finger. Cop-sign language for "Roll down the fucking window you stupid kids..."  
  
Mark threw a shirt at Elizabeth and draped his coat over his lap, causing it to tent. Reddening, he rolled down the window and smiled. "What seems to be the problem Ossifer?"  
  
Constable Grant Hayward peered in the car. Ewwwwwwww old people having sex... ewwww. He was hoping for some cute Britney Spears type, some lesbian action.. Maybe a Dirk Diggler.. but... ew... The guy was gross... eww. Did he just call him Ossifer? How drunk was this old guy? Did he have a stroke while banging the old lady?  
  
"Excuse me? Can I see some ID?" Hayward said, the words strangled with revulsion. Don't vomit. Do NOT vomit. "How... How much have you had to drink tonight sir?"  
  
******  
  
Dave lay in bed, his arms crossed over his chest, his hands cupped around the old Walkman.  
  
"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on now. There's too many places I gotta see..."  
  
A chest tube had been placed to drain the sudden accumulation of fluid in his lungs. Daily walks with the nurse around the hospital, kept his levels up, and the exercise helped. The walks always tired him out though, and he ended back in bed, shuddering and trying to stay as still as possible. Things ached and throbbed now... Body parts he didn't even know he owned had started to hurt...  
  
Dave had returned to bed, exhausted and tucked in and helped by two nurses, Rhonda looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, hon.. I guess we overdid it today..."  
  
He smiled tiredly, shaking his head. "It's okay... I'll... I'll just hang around here for now... Get some sleep..." Dave looked at the stack of journals sitting on the end of his bed that Kerry had brought by. "Catch up on my reading maybe."  
  
Wanda handed him the Walkman, held in her hands like a small bird. "Well here's your tape player if you like... and we brought up a laptop.. You can check your e-mail or something..." She finished weakly. "There's some nice medical sites on there actually.. emergency medicine dot org is pretty good..." She said handing him the iBook, looking at her coworkers and leaving the room. "Get some sleep."  
  
Dave stared at the iBook, pushing it aside for his Walkman. He'd check out the sites and journals later... Right now he just wanted to rest.  
  
"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on now. There's too many places I gotta see..."  
  
The Walkman on his bed had seen better days, played songs and albums from Malucci's short-lived phase with Marky Mark, to Guns and Roses. Lynyrd Skynyrd was in the old friend now and Dave slowly sang along, his voice raspy and soft.  
  
"And if I stay here with you girl, things just wouldn't be the same. For I'm as free as a bird now  
  
and this bird you cannot change. and the bird you cannot change. and the bird you cannot change  
  
Lord knows I can't change..."  
  
Some nurses had been hovering around his room earlier, staring at him, whispering, looking tearful and upset. He wasn't sure what it was all about, but life was funny that way. Things were funny that way. He knew it had to with him. Something had happened. Dave had asked Wanda what had happened, and she'd shaken her head, checking the drainage of the chest tube and redressing the wound to his stomach.  
  
"Bye bye, it's been sweet love, though this feeling I can't change. Please don't take it so badly  
  
Lord knows I must play. And if I stay here with you girl, things just couldn't be the same. For I'm as free as a bird now and this bird you cannot change. and the bird you cannot change. and the bird you cannot change. Lord knows I can't change...." Lynyrd Skynyrd- Free Bird  
  
*******  
  
Luka drummed his hands to the beat, his lunch sitting in front of him on the picnic tables as his shaggy head swayed to the music coming from the boom box. A few young punks hung around in the park, clustered around the portable CD player, Guns and Roses spouting from the speakers. Thumping and booming as Axl screamed his bloody lungs out.  
  
"Just a' urchin livin' under the street. I'm a hard case that's tough to beat. I'm your charity case, so buy me somethin' to eat. I'll pay you at another time. Take it to the end of the line. Ragz to richez or so they say. Ya gotta-keep pushin' for the fortune and fame. It's all a gamble. When it's just a game. Ya treat it like a capital crime. Everybody's doin' their time!"  
  
Luka chuckled, throwing out his hot-dog into the garbage and walking to the teens. "I know this song!" He said with a smile, the boys looking at the doctor like he'd grown another head. "Oh really... Take 'er away then old man..."  
  
He grinned, as his low-key voice started to wail, the birds fleeing from the tree tops as Luka started to squeal out the chorus.  
  
"Take me down to the Paradise City. Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Take me home, yeah, yeahhhh."  
  
The boys looked at each other, the guy looked like he was on crack anyway... Why not humour him... Turning it up, they nodded their heads to the beat. "Keep 'er up old man!"  
  
Luka grinned, his teeth almost feral and gleaming as he hopped and danced around on the sidewalk, the music filling his head now like a cancer. "Strapped in the chair of the city's gas chamber! Why I'm here I can't quite remember. The surgeon general says it's hazardous to breathe. I'd have another cigarette but I can't see! Tell me who ya gonna believe?? Take me down to the paradise city. Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Take me home, yeah, yeahhhh."  
  
Luka sat low on his haunches, eyeing the crowd that gathered as he wailed along with Axl, Kerry walking from the ambulance bay and watched as her Attending/Euro Love Monkey squealed and danced on the asphalt. She was caught between stopping him and taking in the sight as he continued to caterwaul. "So far away! So far awaaaaaay. So far awaaaay!! So far awaaaaaaaay! Captain America's been torn apart! Now he's a court jester with a broken heart. He said - Turn me around and take me back to the start. I must be losin' my mind - "Are you blind?" I've seen it all a million times!!"  
  
Luka grinned, panting, leaning over, his hands on his knees as he grinned, looking up at Kerry. "Hey... G-good song..." He said with an exhausted smile.  
  
"Guns and Roses fan are you, Kovac?" Kerry said with a slight smile. "I never pegged you for an Axl fan."  
  
Luka chuckled. "You never pegged me.. I pegged you last night though... Several times actually..." He said with a sly grin, Kerry thumping him on the arm.  
  
"Come on, you. There's a trauma coming in. MVA. Three car pile up. Jeep hit black ice and took out a pickup truck and a minivan." Kerry said as she walked back to the hospital. "Come on... They'll be here any minute."  
  
****  
  
Kerry and Luka jogged into the ER, the nurses tossing the trauma gowns, stepping up to the sink, scrubbing as they heard the ambulances pull up. The screaming that filled their ears was horrific, a mix of animalistic pain and drug filled hatred. The woman that had been driving, the girl who had caused the accident was higher than a fucking kite.  
  
"GET OFF OF ME!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! ASSHOLES! GET AWAY!! I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING HELP! GET AWAY FROM ME!! G-GET AWAY.. IT HURTS.. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.. MY DAD DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKING JEEP.. HE'S GONNA KILL ME!! HE'S GONNA KILL ME! YOU KNOW THAT?!" She struggled against the backboard, her arms and body slick with blood. Her head immobilized. "Let... Let me up..." She whimpered, struggling. "Please..."  
  
Kerry stood looking at the woman. "We're just trying to help... If you calm down a bit... We can get you checked out..." She said sharply.  
  
"I'm fine... I'm okay... I just need to go home... Before my Dad finds out.. Before he finds out I totaled his fucking car..." Her blonde hair was streaked with blood which was drying in sticky red tendrils. Her blue eyes were watering with tears as she struggled in the straps. "I... I'm always getting into shit.. You know that? He's not going to like this.. Not going to like it at all... He's gonna kill me this time... I know that."  
  
"What kind of shit??" Kerry murmured, looking at the girl's arms, streaked with needle marks. She didn't need to roll up the pant legs to see the rest of them. She knew they were there. "Are you on any medications we should know about?"  
  
"I... I'm on methadone... I.. I'm on it... Prescribed. C-clean otherwise..." She muttered softly. "I'm clean now... I... I'm on meds for my back. I broke it in the last car accident."  
  
Kerry and Luka cocked a brow. "Last car accident?" Luka muttered, curious.  
  
"Yeah... I... I was high... or drunk... Or something. I don't remember much. I don't remember much of that accident. They had to piece me back together... I broke my back... I was in a coma.. Been in a lot of accidents. L-lucky to be alive." The girl started to struggle again, pulling at the straps and slipping her arms free, trying to get the collar off. She started to whimper, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Just let me out. LET ME OUT!!! I'm fine. I wanna go home. I can go home if I want! I DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE!" She started to scream, pulling off the collar.  
  
Kerry sighed. "No. You're right. You don't have to stay... But you could have some injuries to your neck. It's not advisable that you move around like this. You could have hurt yourself." The young woman continued to struggle and Weaver sighed. "MALIK! Get this woman some AMA papers! She's walking."  
  
Kerry nodded to Reggie and the boys who were wandering out in the hall. "You're not our problem anymore, honey. You're theirs." Ripping her gloves off, she stomped out and shed her gown, throwing them in the biohazard bin. "Waste of fucking time and money.." She muttered angrily as she passed the Trauma One, the driver of the mini van coding.  
  
"Asytole!" She heard Carter yell and the Chief sighed. God 2-County 0. The exam rooms were filled with the driver of the pickup who kept yelling that he was going to sue. Curtain Three was the pickup driver's daughter with a hand lac. Kerry sighed, muttering obscenities under her breath as she slammed into the lounge.  
  
****  
  
Walking to Dave's room, Chen sighed heavily. Why she had to be the one to tell him, she didn't know. She wasn't a huge fan of Dave's but to do this to a man already burdened with so many other things.. Kicking a man while he was down. It wasn't fair. The nurses watched as she continued down the hall, knowing her mission. Knowing that they'd have to pick up the pieces after Dr.Chen left. It had been busy today.. She reasoned. That's why Cindy lay in the morgue with nobody to care for her. It had been so busy.. That's why it had taken until now to finally work up the guts to tell Dave.  
  
Dave's Walkman had been kindly replaced by a portable cassette player. Bought by the nurses from the gift shop. His tired old tapes playing in a shiny, new white GE boombox. The iBook sitting on his lap as he pecked away, checking out the sites that the nurses had recommended, finding them a little more interesting than the stack of journals Kerry had left. As he kicked some ass playing an online-shoot-em-kill-em-watch-their-head-explode with a plastic surgeon from Arkansas, Deb walked quietly into the room. "Hey Dave.." She murmured, walking to his bedside. Chen rubbed the back of her neck slightly and dropped her hands at her sides. "Dave.. We gotta talk." The cassette player piped out Guns and Roses, a gift from Luka a few hours ago. It was a strange gift, but something he readily accepted.  
  
"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories. Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky. Now and then when I see her face. She takes me away to that special place and if I stared too long. I'd probably break down and cry..." Chen sighed. "Dave. Can we turn that down... Or off or something?" She said hoarsely. It was bad enough having to break the news without this...  
  
"Sweet child o' mine. Sweet love of mine... She's got eyes of the bluest skies. As if they thought of rain. I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain. Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place, where as a child I'd hide and pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by."  
  
Dave looked at her, startled, a new pain clouding his eyes. This wasn't physical. The meds had taken care of that. Slowly, he ducked his head, tears flowing. His Adam's apple bounced as he fought off the anguished scream that threatened, the wail that would cause him to cry and not be able to stop. "What happened?" He said hoarsely, biting the inside of his cheek. His head numb. He'd heard the nurses whispering again, this time it was worse.. This time a name was mentioned, and he had a feeling that the news about Cindy wasn't good. "What happened to her?"  
  
Deb sighed, pulling over the chair, and sitting beside him. She wanted to take his hand, pat it. Tell him things would be okay. But she was dead. "Cindy's dead, Dave. There-" She swallowed, her head swimming as she began to feel light headed. The damned music was still playing.  
  
"Sweet child o' mine.. Sweet love of mine. Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go?? Sweet child o' mine...."  
  
"There was a fire... She was... She is... There was... We tried everything... She was unconscious when they brought her in. We gave her oxygen. We tried Dave.. She-she was gone. Too much smoke Dave... I-I'm sorry.." Chen winced as Dave turned away. It was like a slap. The poor man tossing in bed, staring blearily at the wall. "Dave... I'm sorry... The C- O2 levels... The carbon monoxide.. She didn't suffer."  
  
"Go..." Dave said hoarsely.. "G-get out of here... Y-you. You liar.." He muttered, his voice thick. "LIAR!" He screamed, shuddering, the tears running hot and painful down his cheeks. "GET OUT!"  
  
"Dave... I'm sorry." Chen said quietly, backing away.. Backing up to the doorway as the nurses rushed in. "I'm so sorry Dave.. We.. We did everything we could. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Tears glistened in her eyes. Glittering as the nurses brushed brusquely past her.  
  
"It's time for you to leave, Dr.Chen." One of the nurses said rudely as they rushed to the man's bedside, his body shaking with painful sobs. "Dr.Chen. It's time to leave... We can handle this..."  
  
Wanda sighed. "Page Dr.Corday.. We might have to sedate him.." She looked up at Chen and glared angrily. "LEAVE NOW!"  
  
Swallowing, Chen turned, walking quietly from the room the ride on the elevator an uneventful one, brushing past her colleagues and out to the ambulance bay. Sitting herself down on a milk crate, she burst into tears.  
  
*******  
  
The 80s Muzak that was piped through the speakers at Chicago PD was starting to get on his nerves.  
  
"How does it feel to treat me like you do? When you've your hands upon me and told me who you are. I thought I was mistaken. I thought I heard your words... Tell me, how do I feel?  
  
Tell me now, How do I feel?!"  
  
Mark sat in the police station, the top buttons of his shirt undone, the shirt slightly askew from his quick buttoning job in the back of the car. People in the chairs beside him stared, the hookers and pimps snickering, the addicts gawking blearily. He looked up from his shoe laces when a young woman in cuffs, bandaged and bloody was forced through the station, cursing a blue streak.  
  
"MY DAD IS GONNA SUE YER ASSES! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG YOU FUCKERS.. YOU FUCKIN' PIGS!! PIGS!! YEAH FUCKING PIGS!!!" She screamed, struggling in the cuffs as Reggie pushed her down the hall.  
  
"Quiet down would you?" He muttered, irritably.  
  
"Those who came before me lived through their vocations. From the past until completion. They'll turn away no more and I still find it so hard to say what I need to say. But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me just how I should feel today."  
  
Mark sighed, listening to the music mixed with the screams of the drunken addict.  
  
"FUCKERS! I HIT BLACK ICE!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!! ASSHOLES!!!" She screeched, as the cops slammed her into a cell.  
  
"Shut up.. Please..." Reggie said quietly. His headache wasn't helping matters and her screaming wasn't helping it at all. "Your lawyer has been called.. It's up to you to phone your father.." He tossed her the receiver to the cordless. One phone call, kid.."  
  
"I see a ship in the harbor. I can and shall obey. But if it wasn't for your misfortune. I'd be a heavenly person today and I thought I was mistaken and I thought I heard you speak...."  
  
"I.. I can't tell my Dad.. If he finds out I totaled the car again.. He'll kill me.." She started to blubber, trembling, staring at the phone.  
  
"You called your father's lawyer.. I'm sure he'll find out eventually." Reggie reasoned with her. "You may as well tell him yourself, kid. You want somethin' to eat? We have wonderful tunafish sandwiches." His voice kind and soft.  
  
Mark heard Reggie murmuring to the girl. He wondered where Elizabeth was. She was supposed to be paying the ticket. Indecent exposure.. Exhibitionism.. Or something like that.. He didn't think "Fucking in the back of your station 'shaggin' wagon" was actually in the criminal code.  
  
"Tell me how do I feel? Tell me now, how should I feel? Now I stand here waiting...  
  
I thought I told you to leave me? While I walked down to the beach. Tell me how does it feel?  
  
When your heart grows cold....."  
  
Mark looked up, Elizabeth holding out her hand. Smiling gratefully, he took it. "All paid up?" He said with a bashful grin.  
  
"Yes Mark. All paid up. Let's go do this at home where it's not illegal." She said calmly, shoving the paid ticket in her purse. She'd heard the screaming too. Poor kid. Elizabeth had the feeling that things weren't going to be all right for her.. At least they were getting out. The girl however, seemed to be more imprisoned by more than just cell bars.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


End file.
